Lives Entwined
by Alexandria M
Summary: When Madden Thomas' 6 year old daughter is in need of a bone marrow transplant they are unable to find a match until WWE Roman Reigns gives back to donate his own bone marrow being a match for Madden's daughter. What happens when their lives become entwined with each other? How will their lives change?
1. What I am up Against

***Here is my new Roman story. I hope that you enjoy it and that you like it.***

My name is Madden Thomas and I am a 30 year old single mother to an 8 year old little girl named Gatsby and a 6 year old little girl named Amari living on the outskirts of Philadelphia, PA with my older sister and her husband. I used to work as a pediatric nurse in the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia but after certain events in my life I had to resign from my job to take care of my children, take care of my 6 year old daughter Amari who was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma just over a year ago. Amari had been feeling exhausted and more tired than usual and she was starting to lose her appetite. She was running a fever and began to get bad headaches that wouldn't go away with Tylenol or any other children's medicine. I couldn't bring her fever down and make it go away being a pediatric nurse I knew something was wrong with my baby girl. I knew something was off with her. I had taken to her to numerous doctors but every one of the doctors believed that it was just a virus in her system that needed to run its course. They believed that with some antibiotics the fever would go away, the headaches would disappear but still I knew something more was wrong. I fought and fought to be heard but no one believed me and told me I was overreacting when it came to her fever and headaches. They gave her medicine to cure her headaches but it didn't help, her fever never subsided and after different antibiotics I noticed her stomach was starting to swell, it was abnormally large for a child that barely ate more than a piece of bread for all three meals a day. Amari began to complain of bone pain in her hip area and the top of her legs. I knew I needed to fight harder for my daughter.

After months of being told my child just had a virus in her system that could be cured with an antibiotic I found that one doctor, Dr. Anderson the man that has been working hard to save my baby's life and the man I owe it all to. I took Amari to see Dr. Anderson with her symptoms and explained all my experiences with previous doctors and explained Amari's old symptoms and her new symptoms. He ran some tests, did ultrasounds on her stomach where he found the mass in her abdomen growing at a very large rate that turned out to be a cluster of cancer cells that grew out of control that bunched together and not only that but the cancer had begun to spread throughout her body, it was starting to affect her bones which was the general cause of the headaches and the cancer cells growing out of control resulted in the fever as her body was trying to fight the infection that no one took the time to find except Dr. Anderson. My baby was 5 years old and diagnosed with Neuroblastoma in a very advance stage making her survival rate a lot lower than we would like but if it had been caught earlier it wouldn't have advanced as badly has it had. It was the hardest day of my life, the hardest words I thought I would ever hear in my life that my child could possibly die from a disease that was trying to control her body. I chose to be positive, to be strong for Amari. Within 48 hours of her diagnosis she was in surgery to have the mass removed from her abdomen and within a couple weeks she had begun radiation to kill the cancer cells left in her body but after months and months of radiation it wasn't killing the cells like Dr. Anderson had wished so a few months ago Amari began her chemotherapy to kill the cancer cells in her body. It's been a really long road and the hardest year of our lives in and out of the hospital, bi-weekly chemotherapy sessions, preventing Amari from getting sick and homeschooling her because her immune system is too weak to be around other children in school putting her at risk to get very sick. Life over the last year hasn't been easy. I made so many sacrifices for Amari, I quit my job, sold my house that I once shared with my late husband; Wyatt, who died while he was overseas defending our country when our children were just 6 and 4 years old so just a year after his death and things getting back to normal as normal as they can be after your children lose their father and you lose the man you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with our baby girl got her diagnosis. It's not easy to do it alone but thankfully my older sister Mackenzie stood up and allowed us to move in with her so we had a place to stay. It's been tougher than I ever imagined.

I'm sitting in the cancer ward of the Children's hospital with Amari as she's getting her bi-weekly chemotherapy treatment as she plays on her tablet as I am sitting on my phone just praying and hoping these sessions come to an end soon and her cancer is gone. It's been my hope for over a year but she handles it well and she is the strongest little girl I know. She lets out a laugh and I look at her with a smile, "What's so funny?" I ask.

"This cartoon," she says with a smile. "It is so funny these babies really crack me up," she says talking about the Rugrats cartoon she found on Hulu.

"It is pretty funny isn't it? I used to watch that when I was a little girl about your age it was my favorite cartoon."

"It's funny," she says going back to watch it as I go back to trying to do some Christmas shopping for the girls as Christmas is just a few weeks away. It is going to be a tough year for us this year with me not working and medical bills piling up. I have to use whatever money I have left from when Wyatt passed away and the money in our old savings account to make Christmas a little bit enjoyable for them.

"Amari, what do you want for Christmas this year?" I ask.

"I don't know," she says looking at me with her large dark brown eyes. "For my cancer to be gone," she shrugs. "I want to be better."

"I don't know if I can make that happen, Mari," I say. "God can when he's ready," I say.

"I guess," she says. "Can Santa?"

"God has more power than Santa, Mari," I say, "but we can keep praying for a miracle. Keep praying for healing."

"I know, mommy," she says as she looks at me with those beautiful dark eyes missing her usual long eyelashes. Because of the high doses of chemo she lost all her dark beautiful curly hair she inherited from her father and her beautiful long eyelashes and even her eyebrows. I hope to one day see her back with those eyelashes and her beautiful hair, to see her healthy again and a normal child again. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mari," I say with a smile.

A couple of hours later her chemo session comes to an end. I pack up her bag before she changes into her street clothes so we can go back home so she can rest for the next few days because every treatment takes a lot out of her and she needs a couple days to feel better. It's my least favorite time of the week. "Ms. Thomas," says one of the nurses.

"Stacy, you don't have to call me Ms. Thomas, you can call me Madden," I say. "What's wrong?"

"Dr. Anderson would like to talk to you privately for a moment. I can keep an eye on Amari for you," she says.

"Is this good or bad?" I ask.

"You know I don't have the answers that you want," she says. "Only Dr. Anderson has the answers you need. I promise Amari will be fine."

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"I'm sure," she says, "you can head to his office."

"I will be right back, Stacy. Amari, I will be right back okay?"

"Okay, Mommy," she says as she takes a seat with her tablet.

I take a deep breath as I make my way to Dr. Anderson's office feeling more nervous than I have in my life. I feel my stomach fill with butterflies and flutters as I knock on the door. "Come in," he calls.

I open the door and see him sitting at his desk, "hello, Dr. Anderson, you wanted to see me?" I ask.

"Yes, Madden," he says, "please come in and have a seat." I walk in and take a seat across from his desk. Dr. Anderson is a middle aged man probably about 45 years old with dark hair and the bluest eyes I have ever seen in my life. He's not bad looking for his age at all, in fact I find him to be quite handsome. "So it's been about 4 months since Amari began her chemo treatments," he begins, "and they seem to be working well. Her cancer cells are decreasing so she is doing pretty well with the chemotherapy and while I would like to continue chemo for a month or maybe two to finish killing what's left of her cancer cells so we are looking at 2 or 4 more rounds of chemotherapy. I know it's been a tough road but I am starting to see the end of the road. Her body is responding very well to the treatments and I know it hasn't been easy to see her fight this but there is hope, Madden that the cancer is going to be gone and she will be in remission."

"Thank God," I say. "That's a relief and great news to hear especially as we are getting closer to Christmas."

"It is a wonderful time of year for her to be cancer free," he smiles. "That being said, we need to look at the next step in her treatments after the chemo is done."

"There's more after chemo?" I ask nervously.

"Yes there's more and this may be the hardest part of her treatment based on her ethnicity and her blood type is very rare. We discussed this."

"Okay," I say. "So what's next?"

"Well, due to the cancer and the chemotherapy her stem cells and bone marrow have been severely damaged and she's going to need to undergo a bone marrow and stem cell transplant to replace what was damaged," he says, "but like we discussed her ethnicity and blood type make it very complicated to find a donor. You and your older daughter have both been tested and neither of you are a match. Neither is your older sister so we are going to need to look in the database to see what we can find and we do not have any matches for her to have this transplant. We have searched in the entire state of Pennsylvania and there is no match for her. We have even searched the US and we have not found a match yet but that doesn't mean we can't we just need to wait and hope that we find a match so we can make this transplant possible."

"Could she die if we don't find a donor?"

"She can become very ill and with that the cancer cells could return back," he says, "so we are working the hardest we can to find her a match but with her ethnicity it's difficult," he says. "She's a Pacific Islander and that's a complicated match to find."

"I understand," I say with tears in my eyes. Their father is from Hawaii but being in the military he relocated several times and we met in Pennsylvania while he was stationed here but he is part Samoan and part Hawaiian. So of course it would be difficult to find a match for Amari there aren't too many pacific islanders in the US. Wyatt's own family wouldn't even get tested but then again they never really cared for me or our children. I hadn't spoken to them from the time Wyatt and I started dating until his funeral and even now they are not active in my life or my children's lives. I just feel defeated we have come so far, fought so hard to hit this roadblock. It doesn't seem fair. Not at all, after talking to Dr. Anderson I took Amari home and just cried, prayed that we would find a match it is unlikely but it is still possible as all things are possible through God.

 _ **MEANWHILE IN TAMPA:**_

My name is Roman Reigns to the WWE Universe but behind the façade of my character on TV I am just a regular guy named Joe, maybe not that regular but I try to lead a regular life. I kept a secret from the world and the only ones that know my secret is my ex-wife and my family no one else in the world knows about it. I am a 33 year old man that has been in remission from leukemia for over 11 years. 11 years ago was a tough time in my life, tougher than I ever expected. I had finished college was expecting to just go on to live a normal life, live my football dream in the NFL but then I got my diagnosis of leukemia and cancer can take a lot away from your life. It took my job, it took my health and my peace of mind. It took a lot from me. I was a young kid trying to fight to stay alive but manage to get myself into remission very quickly, quicker than most but nonetheless it happened so quickly but not before taking things away from my life. It was a struggle but eventually I got my life back together and while my football dream was over my dream to be in the WWE was just beginning. I have been a wrestler for the last 10 years of my life starting at the bottom and making my way to the top sitting as the WWE champion right now and I do everything in my life to give back in every aspect. I donate money to many different charities, I grant wishes to sick children, I visit children with cancer in the hospital and spend a good part of my life donating today is no different as I walk into a clinic here in Tampa for a drive to donate blood marrow to someone fighting cancer. I had my life saved once I want to save someone's life maybe multiple lives. "Joe," I am called back to have the procedure done which involves removing some bone marrow from my hip. "So you're interested in donating bone marrow today?" asks the nurse.

"Yes," I say. "I want to try to save someone's life. I have been in remission for over 11 years and I want to give back, save someone's life give them another chance at life and I know people of my ethnicity have trouble finding a match so maybe there is that one child out there or that one man or woman out there that is depending on this bone marrow match."

"That is a true fact it is a lot harder to find a match for your ethnicity than others," she says. "I'm glad that you're willing to donate but before you do I need you to answer some questions for me."

"Okay," I say.

"If you are a match to someone and you donate your bone marrow do you want to remain anonymous never having contact with the recipient or would you like contact with the recipient anonymously and then after a year meeting the recipient?"

"I would like to meet the recipient after a year," I say.

"All right," she says as she continues on asking me questions and before I know it I am having the procedure to have my bone marrow donated to someone that needs it. I walk out of the clinic hoping that I can change a life, save a life so all I can do is wait and hope to be a match to someone out there.

 **TWO WEEKS LATER:**

Amari and I walk into the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia for her chemotherapy treatment. We make our way to the oncology floor and before they hook her up for her two hours of treatment Dr. Anderson requests for us to be in his office. "Good morning, Madden," he says with a smile on his face.

"Good morning," I say with a smile.

"And Amari, good morning," he says, "how are you?"

"I'm good," she says with a smile.

"Are you ready for Santa Claus to come visit you?" he asks, "you know Christmas is just a couple weeks away."

"I know," she says. "I can't wait. I hope he brings me what I asked for."

"I'm sure he's going to try his best," he says. "You have been a very good girl all year long haven't you?"

"I had some bad days but I have been good," she says with a smile as she holds my hand.

"Sometimes we all have bad days," he says. "He doesn't expect us to be perfect."

"Just like God," she says, "God doesn't expect us to be perfect either and he forgives us."

"That he does," he says. "So are you ready for your treatment today?" he asks.

"I guess," she shrugs. "I don't want to be sick anymore."

"I know you don't, Amari," he says, "but you know what. I talked to your mommy last time and you know what I saw?" he asks.

"What?"

"The chemo is killing all those cancer monsters in your body. They are almost completely gone and you should be just about done with your chemotherapy. I want to do some tests today before we begin today and then we will know accurately how many more treatments you'll need."

"Okay," she says with a smile. He is amazing with her and all the nurses are amazing with her. A few nurses were my friends before because of working here but they have become like family to us and to Amari.

Dr. Anderson runs some tests on Amari before she's hooked up for her chemo session another grueling two hours and they aren't even the hardest it's the days that follow when she's throwing up in the bucket, sleeping nearly all day and nauseous that are the hardest. I just hate seeing my baby sick. We play some games while she gets her treatment and we do some coloring as well as her making some Christmas cards for her sister and some of the friends she has made in the hospital and for her Aunt Kenzie and Uncle Ted. I help her with the glue and glitter as she works. Before we know it the session is over and we are packing things up again ready to meet with Dr. Anderson once more before we leave.

"Well, there's my favorite patient," he says with a smile as we walk into the office. "How was your session?"

"It was okay," she says with a shrug.

"Well, how would you feel if I told you that you only needed ONE more treatment? Would you be excited?"

"YES!" she screams.

"Well, after looking at the results of your tests I saw very few cancer cells meaning just one more round of chemo should kill them off completely," he says as tears burn my eyes.

"You mean I'm not going to be sick anymore?"

"Once they are gone you shouldn't be," he says, "but there is one more thing we need to do with you."

"What's that?" she asks.

"Well, we are going to replace something called bone marrow and stem cells in your body because your stem cells and bone marrow were ruined by the bad cancer cells and the chemotherapy so we need to replace it. It's just going to be a little procedure to make you completely healthy again," he says, "and I thought we could go ahead and do the transplant after your last chemo treatment."

"I thought that you couldn't find a match?" I ask.

"That's something else I wanted to talk about," he says with a smile. "We found a match! It just happened about a week and a half ago it came into the database and we caught it. It is the perfect match for Amari, the blood type and everything. I would say that the donor is probably of Pacific Islander descent for it to be a match."

"You mean we have a donor? My baby can get the transplant in two weeks?" I ask with tears burning my eyes.

"Yes, Madden," he says, "we have a match, we have a donor."

"Thank God!" I say with tears of happiness in my eyes. "Amari, you have a donor!" I say with excitement as I pick her up and hold her in my arms, kissing her cheek a thousand times and holding her tight. "You're going to get better," I say, "you're going to be healthy again," I say with tears in my eyes as she wraps her arms around me and cries her own tears of happiness.

"The only thing is," he says, "she will be in the hospital over Christmas."

"I don't care, she's getting her transplant and her last round of chemo. We can celebrate Christmas here my baby is going to be healthy. That's all that matters," I say as I hold her tight as we cry together both of us excited over the news. It is the news I have been hoping for since she was 5 years old and diagnosed with neuroblastoma. Anything is and everything is possible in this life with a little bit of faith and hope. "Thank-you," I mouth to God as I hold my baby tight ready to tell the news to my family.

 ***A/N: What do you think? Is it a keeper? Please review and thanks for reading!**


	2. The Angel

***Thank-you to everyone that followed, favorited, alerted and reviewed this story. I greatly appreciate it. I just hope everyone can keep an interest in it. Thank-you so much.***

 **A WEEK AND A HALF EARLIER:**

Sitting in my locker room getting ready for Monday Night RAW I am getting into my regular ring gear to open the show tonight as my cellphone starts to ring. I look at the screen and see it is a number that I don't recognize debating if I should answer the phone or not I decide to let it go straight to voicemail in case it's an overzealous fan that found my cellphone number somewhere. I groan to myself at the thought of changing my cellphone number again. It would be the 4th time this year because fans keep getting a hold of my phone number someway and decide to blow up my phone. No matter how hard I try to keep my number private someone always finds it and passes it on to someone else. It's just a pain in the butt to keep changing my number over and over again to protect my privacy. As I am lacing my boot my best friend Seth comes into my locker room. "What's up, Man," I say looking up at him.

"Not much, are you ready for tonight?" he asks.

"When am I not ready?" I ask with a smile.

"That's true," he says. "Hopefully you'll be the WWE Champion at the Rumble."

"I hope so but I doubt it. I came so close last night but I think they are planning to put me into the Rumble this year," I say. "I really don't know their plans as of right now."

"I know I am skipping the Rumble this year. I have to defend the Intercontinental Championship against Drew McIntyre. I feel like I am probably going to lose it to him this time. I mean how long can this feud drag on before they end it."

"Remember my feud with Strowman? That went on for 6 months and my feud with Lesnar is still going. There are rumors they want me to face him again at Mania for the belt. I hate how he's always the champion yet never comes to work did you notice that? He comes once every 3 months, held this belt for what 18 months and defended it twice in all that time? I wish I had that type of contract but here we are busting our asses week in and week out, showing up 5 or 6 days a week going home 1 or 2 days a week sometimes not at all to perform. He's got an easy pass."

"Tell me about it," he says. "So how did your date go the other night? Did it work out, you going to see her again?"

I let out a small chuckle thinking about my date a few nights ago. "Yeah, probably not going to go out with her again, she's not really my type. It wasn't a bad date just not my type," I explain.

"So you didn't like her?" he asks as Dean comes into the room.

"Not really," I say. "She was a nice girl and everything BUT she just isn't my type besides I think she was more into my lifestyle than she was into me."

"Ring rat?" asks Dean.

"I wouldn't call her a ring rat exactly more like a gold digger," I say. "I think she just has other motives for dating me. She just isn't my type there was no real connection there."

"If you continue to wait for a connection," says Seth, "you'll never find your next wife."

"Who says I want to get married again? I did that once and I am done with that besides. I can't just go off and get married to someone after Katie. It just doesn't seem right. I don't want any more dates."

"Why can't he just go out and have some fun," says Dean. "You know the old Roman that used to party before he married Katie. I know marriage has all calmed us down but I would love to live that life again. You're free to do that, Roman."

"I guess I am," I say. "I don't know. I am a man that does have needs but somehow I don't feel very loyal to Katie if I am sleeping with other women."

"Going to be celibate until the day you die?" asks Seth.

"Maybe," I say. "It depends," I shrug my shoulders. "Enough about my sex life and my love life, I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Fair enough," says Seth.

"Thank-you," I say.

After they leave after we go over the script for tonight for our promo and then going over our match I check my voicemail to see that unknown number left me a message. I put in my code and listen to the message. "Hello, Mr. Anoa'i, this is Trisha calling from the clinic. I just wanted to let you know that when your sample was put into our system it was a match for someone in need of a bone marrow transplant. If you are interested in continuing this process and being a donor for this recipient please call me back at the clinic so we can talk about what to do next and set up an appointment to do the next step in the process. If I don't hear from you within 3 days I will assume that you are not interested in being a donor. Thank-you for your time." I didn't expect to be a match this quickly to someone of course I want to be the donor. I wouldn't have went through the process to not be.

I click on the number for the clinic and call them back right away. "Hello, this is Trisha, how can I help you?" says the woman on the other end.

"Yes, this is Joe Anoa'i calling you back and returning your message," I say.

"Hello, Mr. Anoa'i, I assume you know that you're a match for someone in need of a bone marrow transplant?"

"Yes, I am."

"Are you interested in continuing the process in being a donor?"

"Absolutely," I say. "I am very interested in being a donor otherwise I wouldn't have gone through the process."

"Wonderful," she says. "We are going to move onto the next step in the process. We would like to set up an appointment to do a physical exam to make sure that you are in good health to be a donor if you are in good health we will send you to the city in which the recipient resides to meet with their doctor to discuss the process and to donate your bone marrow."

"Thank-you," I say with a smile knowing I am about to make a difference in someone else's life and give them another chance at life. "I am available Wednesday, Thursday and Friday morning to come in for an exam."

"What about Wednesday at 2:30 does that work for you?"

"That's perfect," I say. "I will see you Wednesday at 2:30."

"We will see you then," she says. "Have a wonderful day."

"You too," I say before I cut the call.

 **PRESENT DAY:**

I arrive at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia in the hustle and bustle of the city on this cold; very cold December day to meet with Dr. Anderson to undergo my procedure to donate my bone marrow. I obviously know that my recipient is a child which breaks my heart. I don't know much about the child and I won't until at least a year but I think I can persuade the doctor into letting me meet the child before the transplant. I would rather meet the child now than wait a year but the rules say it is a year before we can meet and know each other's identities. I walk up to the receptionist and tell her I am there to meet with Dr. Anderson. She directs me up to the correct floor where I am greeted by another receptionist as soon as I step off the elevator. She gives me a pass and then tells me to have a seat in the waiting room. I sit waiting for about 5 minutes before Dr. Anderson comes out to greet me. "You must be Joe," he says.

"I am," I say standing up to shake his hand.

"It's nice to meet you. I am Dr. Anderson," he says with a smile.

"It's nice to meet you too," I say with a smile.

"Let's go talk for a few minutes before we get into the procedure," he says. "We'll go to my office first." He leads the way to his office and offers me a seat before he shuts the door. I take a seat across from his desk as he rounds the desk and sits across from me. "First of all I want to thank you for your interest in being a donor and thank-you for continuing on with the process of donating your bone marrow," he says.

"It's my pleasure," I say.

"What made you choose to be a donor?" he asks.

"Well, a while back about 11 years ago I fought my own battle against cancer. I had leukemia when I was 22 years old. Once I was in remission after receiving treatments I needed my own bone marrow transplant to restore what was damaged by the treatments and the leukemia. I thought I would give back and since the waiting period is at least 10 years before you can be a donor I decided to finally donate some of my own bone marrow to help someone else just like someone had done for me."

"So you're in remission?" he asks.

"For nearly 11 years," I say.

"Congratulations, that's wonderful. I enjoy a successful cancer story. That's great."

"Thank-you," I say. "How much are you able to tell me about the recipient?"

"I can tell you that the recipient is a 6 year old little girl that's been fighting Neuroblastoma for a little over a year now, she is finishing up her Chemo treatments and is ready for a bone marrow transplant to restore the damage bone marrow by the cancer and the chemo. I will be honest with you. I was not expecting to find her a match so quickly due to her ethnicity. It's always harder to find a match for certain ethnic backgrounds. It was like a miracle when the system alerted me that there was a match for her. She was very happy and she along with her family will be able to enjoy a wonderful Christmas because of you. She will be getting the transplant a couple days before Christmas. She is very grateful for you."

"She's only 6 years old?" I ask. I can't imagine being a father and having a child fighting such a serious disease for as long as this little girl has. I visit a lot of children in the hospital with different illnesses but those with Cancer really hit my heart harder because I was 22 years old when I had my own battle. It was hard for me and I was an adult. I can't imagine being 6 years old and having to fight something like cancer it never seems fair to me when I meet a child with cancer or some other disease. What could they have done to deserve something like that to happen to them?

"She's just 6 years old," he answers my question. "A very beautiful and intelligent little girl with a big heart, she's amazing."

"I'm sure she is," I say, "I wanted to know if I would be able to meet her before she receives the transplant. I would love to meet her and her family," I say.

"As wonderful as that sounds I don't think it's time for a meeting just yet. I think it is better to wait to meet each other but that doesn't mean you can't give each other gifts, write each other letters and such but knowing this little girl she will probably draw you thousands of pictures," he says pointing to the pictures hanging up around his office. They were done by a child there's no doubt about that. There are at least 20 pictures hanging up around the room.

"She drew those for you and colored those for you?" I ask.

"Yes she did, like I said she is a very grateful little girl and she's very happy despite everything she's gone through the last year. She keeps herself happy and during every treatment or every other treatment she draws or colors me a picture to thank me for making her better. She's one of my success stories. I just need her to stay in remission."

"I hope that she's able to stay in remission," I agree with him. "So I can't meet her?"

"Not yet. You can communicate through letters like I said but neither of you can reveal your identities so nothing with your names. It will then be up to you and her mother when you are able to meet. I know it's not ideal to meet until a year after the transplant however a lot of my patients have met their donors sooner. I usually say a month to three months at the choice of the recipient and their family."

"I see," I say. "Am I able to get her a present before the transplant? I know that you said she will be getting the transplant just before Christmas so I assume that means she will be in the hospital on Christmas, am I allowed to get her a gift?"

"That's always okay," he says, "would you like to know the things she's into?" he asks.

"That would be great so that I know what to get her," I say with a smile.

"Well, as you can tell she enjoys drawing and coloring pictures," he smiles, "but she also loves stuffed animals. Her favorite animal is a Panda Bear she likes Koala bears too. She is also into those little surprise dolls that come in the balls. She's not one for Barbie dolls or baby dolls," he says.

"Perfect," I say with a smile. "I know just want to get her."

"I'm sure she will love it and be very grateful for your gift but I think she is going to be more grateful for your donation of your bone marrow it could have taken months maybe even years before a match was found."

"I'm glad I can help her," I say.

"Well, are you ready to undergo the procedure?"

"I am," I say as we stand up. "I'm ready to give some of my bone marrow to make her healthy again." Dr. Anderson and I shake hands before we go to the room the procedure is taking place. I am given a hospital gown to change into before he leaves the room and before I know it I am undergoing the procedure.

 **Meanwhile:**

I am straightening up around my sister's house as my dinner is in the oven for us to celebrate the good news we received from Dr. Anderson this morning after Amari's chemo treatment. My sister Mackenzie walks into the house after working. "It smells good in here," she says as she hangs her coat up on the rack. "Are you cooking dinner, Madden?"

"I am," I say with a smile. "It's been a good day. I thought I would make everyone dinner tonight."

"You must have had a really good day," she says with a smile. "What's for dinner tonight?"

"I decided to make meatloaf, baked macaroni and cheese along with some collard greens and corn."

"That sounds amazing," she says, "where is Mari?"

"She's upstairs napping you know chemo days are the worst for her. She's already starting to feel sick," I say. "But soon she won't feel sick anymore."

"What do you mean? And yes chemo weeks are the hardest. You're a strong woman going through this and watching your daughter go through something like this. I would have broken by now."

"Please, Kenz, there are a lot of times I wanted to break but I chose and wanted to stay strong for Mari. And I mean she only has one more treatment to get," I say, "and then we are finally done with chemo."

"That's amazing!" she says with a smile before we share a hug. "I'm so happy for Mari and I'm so happy for you. That's great news!"

"I know," I say wiping the tears of joy from my eyes. "It's been a long few months," I say, "and I didn't think we would ever get here," I say. "But here we are. She also needs a bone marrow transplant."

"I remember you telling me about that but isn't it really hard to find a donor for her that is a match?"

"That's what I was told but that's something else I wanted to talk about. They found a match."

"That quickly?" she asks.

"YES! I was shocked too. I couldn't even believe it. Dr. Anderson said it could take a while at our last treatment and this treatment he was telling me my daughter is going to have a bone marrow transplant for Christmas. I don't know who this person is or where they are from but this person is our angel and our saving grace."

"Madden, that's amazing, that's awesome! God works in the most mysterious ways."

"He really does," I say with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face as my 8 year old Gatsby comes into the room. "Hey, Gatsby," I say.

"Hey, Mommy, what's wrong? Is Mari okay?"

"Mari is going to be just fine," I say with a smile wiping my joyful tears away. "She's going to be just fine."

"That's good," she says, "is she not sick anymore?"

"Soon she won't be," I say with a smile. "Your sister is almost done with her chemo and she is getting a transplant before Christmas," I say.

"That's good, right?" she asks.

"It's amazing!" I say with a smile before she hugs me tightly. I hug her back and kiss her cheek. In the last few months I feel like so much of my time has been dedicated to Mari and less time dedicated to Gatsby but she's been a great big sister to Mari and very understanding of the situation. I am sure some times she has gotten upset but for the most part she has handled it pretty well.

"I'm happy," she says.

"So am I," I say with a smile. "Very happy."

"Would daddy be happy?" she asks.

"I am sure Daddy is happy up in Heaven," I say, "in fact I wouldn't be surprised if he helped us find a donor match so quickly." I say with tears in my eyes thinking about Wyatt. I have been in this alone on Earth but he has always been with me in spirit through it all. I just wish he was here now to hear the good news, to celebrate with me and just hug me and kiss me because of the good news. It's been rough dealing with this alone. I made a lot of sacrifice and hopefully everything will finally get back to normal.

"He is," she says with a smile before she leaves the living room.

I let out a deep breath and say, "I wish Wyatt was here."

"I know you do, Madden," she says, "and he is in your heart. He's been here every step of the way."

"I know," I say. "I just miss him so much. I miss my life with him and all the happiness he used to bring me and the girls. I know they miss him too. I just wish things had been different."

"I know you do," she says giving me a hug. "But he's in a better place right now and he has not left you completely. He will always be here in spirit."

"I guess," I say. "I guess this whole bone marrow transplant is a good thing and life can get back to normal. I hope that I can get Mari into school and if not I am probably going to need to work nights so that I can still cyber school her during the day. I need to go back to work. These medical bills are going to be enormous and I have no money to my name to pay them off. I can barely give my kids Christmas because so much has gone into Mari's medicine and helping you pay bills around here. It's just been rough and I don't even want to think about how much these medical bills are going to come up to."

"Don't worry about that now, just celebrate the fact that your little girl is going to be cancer free and you didn't have to wait months for a match for her to have her bone marrow transplant. God will provide for you and make sure that everything is taken care of. He has gotten you this far," she says. "He's not going to leave you now."

"I guess you're right," I say.

"And here," she says pulling out her wallet. I watch as she counts out $400 in hundred dollar bills before she hands them to me. "I know it's not much for two girls but take this and use it to get the girls something nice for Christmas."

"Kenz, I can't take this," I say.

"Yes you can," she says. "It's my gift to you. Take it," she says.

"I don't know," I say.

"Madden, take it," she says as she puts it into my hand. "The girls deserve a Christmas. Take this money and give it to them for a good Christmas."

"Kenz, thank-you," I say. "I promise as soon as I go back to work and start paying off these medical bills I will pay you back EVERY penny you have lent to me."

"No you won't. I am your sister, we are family. You needed help and I helped you. You owe me nothing."

"Kenz," I say with tears in my eyes before I hug her. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," she says, "even if you used to get on my nerves when we were younger. I still love you," she says.

"Stop it," I say with a smile as we break our hug.

"So who is the donor?"

"I have no idea but I would really love to meet them and thank them for this because of them my daughter is going to be able to be normal again and be healthy."

"I'm sure you could find out," she says.

"I'll see what I can do," I say.

"And who knows it could be a really hot man that will fall in love with you and you fall in love with him," she smiles.

"Yeah, doubtful besides, I'm not ready to be in love with anyone."

"Madden it's been 2 years," she says. "it's time to move on. It's time for you to find happiness."

"I am happy," I say.

"You know what I mean, happiness with a man, don't you ever miss sex and falling asleep and waking up in a man's arms? Don't you miss it?"

"I miss Wyatt," I say, "and yeah I miss all that but it wouldn't be right with anyone else. And I am not talking about this."

"Oh we are going to talk about this, Madden. When Mari is feeling better and this bone marrow transplant there is a man from work that I would really like to set you up with. Would you be open to that idea?"

"No," I say. "I don't want to get involved with anyone."

"I'm not asking you to marry him. I am just asking you to go out on a date with him, maybe have some fun," she says.

"Well, considering fun can lead to an unexpected pregnancy which is how Wyatt and I got Gatsby about 8 years ago I think I will pass on all that fun."

"Madden, it's called birth control and a condom. You're so lonely you deserve some company."

"I have two daughters and a sister I don't think I am that lonely."

"You know what I mean," she says with a smile.

"Do I?" I ask with a smile before I walk out of the living room.

"OH YES YOU DO!" she yells and I shake my head as I go into my bedroom to change into something more comfortable before finishing up my dinner.

I stop by my bed and sit down on it. I pick up a picture of Wyatt and me shortly after we found out we were pregnant with Mari, Gatsby was about 2 years old in the picture. We looked so happy announcing our pregnancy. I smile with tears in my eyes as I trace Wyatt in the picture. He was such a handsome man with the biggest dark brown eyes contrast to my deep blue eyes even his dark curly hair pulled up into a low bun before he had his hair shaved off for his active duty. His dark hair even a contrast to my light brown hair even his tan skin similar to my olive skin but just a bit darker than mine. He was more than just handsome he was a good man. We met when I was in college and we were instantly attracted to each other. I loved him the moment I saw him and I know he felt the same. He was like the other part of me, he was the other part of my soul. He was my best friend and we fell in love quickly and before I knew it we were pregnant with Gatsby, getting married and not too long after that we were pregnant with Amari. He was the best husband and the best father I could have ever asked for. Everything in his world revolved around the girls and me, we were his favorite girls and we discussed that when he went overseas a couple years ago that when he came back we would try for another baby to hopefully have a baby boy but he wouldn't mind having another little girl. Unfortunately, Wyatt never made it home alive and was taken from us. The last two years have been rough without him and hard to wake up every day knowing it is another day without him here but I do it for my girls and then Amari was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma and I felt like my world had completely crashed. My heart and my soul still belong to Wyatt, no one will ever replace him, no one can love me like he did and I will never be able to love anyone like I love him. "Well, baby," I say tracing the picture. "Today is the day I found out that our baby girl only needs one more chemo treatment and then she is getting a bone marrow transplant. I don't know who the angel is that donated their marrow and is a match for our baby girl but I am sure you and God had a lot to do with that so that she can be a normal kid again. It's been tough without you and I just wish you could be here with me for this, holding me when I cry, the lonely sad nights, the tough days as I hold her as she cries because she's so sick and the happy days like today to celebrate. I just miss you so much and I know the girls miss you. I love you so much, Wy, thank-you for helping this miracle happen," I say before hugging the picture close crying to myself.

 ***What did you think? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	3. The Transplant

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

Three days before Christmas Amari walked into the children's hospital for her final round of chemotherapy to kill whatever cancer cells were left within her body. She handled it pretty well, she stayed overnight to be monitored and today she woke up to find out they could go ahead with the bone marrow transplant as every single cancer cell has been destroyed by the chemo and her entire stem cell and bone marrow destroyed in the process as well. "How are you feeling today, Mari?" I ask her as we wait for Dr. Anderson.

"Sick," she says, "but happy that my cancer is gone. I am glad."

"I'm glad too," I say with a smile before I lean down and kiss her forehead. We have waited for this moment for months nearly a year before we could finally kill every cancerous cell in her body. My hope is that my baby girl will remain in remission but I also know it is possible that the cancer could come back later down the road but she's been through enough and she deserves to have somewhat of a normal childhood.

"Will it come back?" she asks.

"There's always a possibility that it could come back but let's stay positive and keep praying to God that you stay in remission. I am so proud of you, Mari. You're such a little warrior and you're one of the strongest little girls that I know. You literally beat cancer at 6 years old. I love you so much, Mari, we are going to hope for you to have a normal childhood and hope you can go to school like Gatsby does."

"I want to do kindergarten," she says. "I would like that. I always dreamed of going to school."

"Well, hopefully we can get you back into school. You may need to do kindergarten again next year but at least you will be in school."

"I guess that's okay," she smiles. "I just don't want to be sick anymore."

"And hopefully you won't be," I smile as Dr. Anderson comes into the room.

"Good morning! Good Morning! To my favorite patient," he says as he comes into the room holding an envelope and a Shopkins bag in his hand. "How are you feeling today?"

"Ready," says Mari.

"I'm glad to hear that," he says. "So I want to explain to you what is going to happen. You've gone through the conditioning phase as all the cancer cells have been killed off now you're ready for the transplant. We are going to infuse the stem cells and bone marrow into you. You're going to be awake for the process. The stem cells will make their way into your bone marrow and began creating new red blood cells but I must warn you there is a chance your immune system could attack the new stem cells as they see it is foreign and believe it is in your body to harm you. We're hoping that doesn't happen and those stem cells create a lot of new red blood cells into your system so you can be 100% again."

"Is it going to hurt?" she asks.

"You will not even feel a thing," he says.

"Good," says Mari.

"Mom, do you have any questions?"

"What is the recovery time for this transplant?" I ask.

"It will take weeks for her body to create a blood cell count that is normal. She will probably remain in the hospital for about two weeks before she is able to go home but she will still need to be monitored to make sure the blood cells are producing and she may need transfusions of red blood cells and platelets until her bone marrow can produce enough on its own."

"Okay," I say, "and what about the donor, when can we meet the donor? I am very interested in meeting them."

"I'm sorry but you aren't able to meet the donor for a couple months yet they have to remain anonymous as does Amari but you are allowed to write letters to one another and send gifts but you cannot give out personal information such as names or addresses and after a couple months you will be able to meet the donor as long as you both want to meet."

"Okay," I say, "can you tell me anything about the donor?"

"The only thing I can tell you is the donor is a 33 year old male with Polynesian descent."

"I figured the donor was Polynesian otherwise he probably would have never been a match. Can you tell me anymore?"

"No, I'm sorry but that's all that I can tell you," he says, "but he did give me a gift to give to Amari along with a letter for her."

"A gift?" asks Amari with a smile.

"Yes, Amari, this is from your donor," he says handing her the pink Shopkins bag.

"Thank-you," she says with a smile as she goes through the bag. "Look Mommy!" she yells holding up a panda bear stuffed animal. "He got me my favorite animal and look at all the crayons, colored pencils, markers and paints he got me too and the coloring books and paper. I love it!"

"Wow," I say, "that's a lot of stuff it's like he knew you," I say as Dr. Anderson hands me the envelope. "And he sent you a letter," I say opening it. "I'm going to read it to you."

"Okay, Mommy," she says.

I open the letter and begin to read, "Dear Recipient, I want to start off by saying congratulations on being cancer free and going into remission. That's a big deal for you and it's amazing. I haven't met you yet but I already know you're the strongest little girl in the world. You overcame, you survived and conquered. You're a little Wonder Woman. I know you like pandas and while I know you're a brave little girl but I also know you're facing a giant. I got you a panda to cuddle up with and hold onto through your procedure to keep you company. I also know you like to draw and color so I got you some art supplies to use as you recover from the transplant. I wish you the very best and hope that we can stay in touch. I will be praying for you. I once had leukemia when I was younger, I was 22 years old but I could never imagine being 6 years old facing something so big in front of me. I hope you the very best in recovery and I know you're going to do amazing because you have gotten this far. And this is for your parents, you raised a strong and powerful little girl that can take on the world. She is going to move mountains when she gets older and tell her story to the world. Take a breath and relax, you're almost done. I imagine this is not easy for you nor easy for your daughter but know you're doing an amazing job and you are some of the strongest parents I have yet to meet which I hope we can one day. I send you all the very best and wish you all a very merry Christmas and hope that you have a wonderful New Year. Love your donor," I read as tears blur my eyes of course he doesn't know Amari lost her father a couple years ago but for the kindness and love from a stranger I am truly awed by the entire thing. He didn't have to reach out and he didn't have to give her a gift but he did. He's our angel, our savior as he gave up something of his so that my daughter could live again and live happily.

"Mommy, he is such a nice man, I want to paint him a picture."

"I think he will like that," I say with a smile as I tuck the letter away. "How long is the initial recovery time?"

"Well," says Dr. Anderson. "Like I said she will be hospitalized for about 2 weeks or more but a full recovery is ongoing. She will monitored nearly daily for at least 100 days because we have to make sure the cells are reproducing and the body isn't attacking the new cells and to prevent infection. It's a long road but we are nearly done."

"Okay," I say.

"Well, Amari, it is day 0 and we are going to begin the infusion in a few minutes. It's going to take at least an hour or two for the process."

"Okay," she says.

About 30 minutes later Amari is hooked up to a central line and the stem cells are infused into her bone marrow. The entire procedure takes at least 2 hours before he is complete. Amari handled it well she sat cuddled with the Panda bear stuffed animal from her donor and spent some time looking at books and some time on her tablet. Dr. Anderson comes in with an oncology nurse and removes the central line. "You did very well today, Amari," he says with a smile. "You were such a good sport. Did it hurt?"

"I didn't feel a thing," she smiles.

"I told you that you wouldn't," he smiles, "so now we are going to move you to a safer area of the hospital where you will not be at risk for infection and then we will wait to see what happens."

"Okay," she says.

"Thank-you, Dr. Anderson," I say. We are soon taken to a private room where Mari will stay for two weeks until she is released from the hospital. Dr. Anderson wants to keep her away from others and keep her away from infection as her immune system is very low and can be compromised very easily.

Two days later Christmas morning finally arrives for us at the Children's Hospital here in Philadelphia. I feel bad for Gatsby as we both need to spend the day in the hospital with Amari. They are only allowing Gatsby and myself to see Amari today due to it being flu season and the risk of infection. Gatsby and I both need to wear masks around Amari to keep her from getting germs and we need to scrub up before we are even allowed into her hospital room. "Good morning! Merry Christmas!" I say as we walk into the freshly decorated hospital room that we all took the time to decorate yesterday afternoon with our own colorful Christmas lights, some garland and a personal Christmas tree where I laid their presents under before I left last night.

"Merry Christmas, Mari!" says Gatsby.

"Merry Christmas Mommy and Gatsby," says Mari before Gatsby runs over and gives her a hug. I have them pose for a picture before Mari says, "Santa came to the hospital."

"I see that," I say. "Would you two like to open up presents?"

"YES!" they say together as I smile.

"All right," I say. "I just want you to know that it was a little tight this year and I wasn't able to pay Santa as much as I wanted to but I did manage to pay him enough to get you two each a present or two."

"It's okay, Mommy," says Mari. "Christmas isn't about presents besides, God gave me an even better present he gave me a donor!"

"You're right, I'm just glad we can all celebrate Christmas together and look forward to 2019 being a really good year for all of us."

"Yeah," says Gatsby. "I'm just glad that my little sister is going to be healthy again that's what really matters."

"I love you two so much," I say as I hand each of them their one gift. I don't like the fact I could only afford to get them one gift each BUT like Mari said it isn't about the presents it's about the presence, the love, hope, joy and peace. We get to spend it as a family whether it is in the hospital or not. We still have Christmas together and our second one without their father. I wish Wyatt was here for this. I watch as the girls rip open their presents.

"It's an American Girl doll!" announces Gatsby. "I really wanted this one. Thank-you!"

"You're welcome," I say with a smile.

"LOOK MOMMY!" yells Mari, "I got one too and mine has cancer just like me!" she says making tears fill my eyes. I am grateful American Girl can make cancer patients feel just as special as other little girls. Mari has really struggled with not having any hair and being bald. It has been tough for her. She shuns Barbie dolls because she deems them as perfect and too beautiful for the real world. She can't relate to a doll that has long blonde hair, blue eyes and the perfect body. She just doesn't like Barbie for that reason but other dolls she doesn't like because they aren't like her. They all have beautiful hair and it hurts her so I finally found a doll that has no hair that is just as special as Mari and can make Mari feel just as special. "I love her," she says with a big smile. "She's perfect!" tears fill my eyes as I see the joy on her face. I open the doll for her and she immediately hugs it tight as I take a picture of her to post on Instagram and show American Girl.

We spend some of our Christmas morning watching Christmas movies on the laptop some of the girls' favorites like Santa Buddies, Polar Express and The Grinch before we sing Christmas songs together. There is nothing greater or better to me than seeing both of my girls so happy and smiling. They are both having fun and I couldn't ask for more. The hospital provides us with a Christmas meal it may not be the best but it's edible with turkey, stuffing, corn, mashed potatoes and a roll. Finishing up our meal a nurse comes into the room and says, "Amari, there is someone here that wants to see you."

"Okay," says Mari.

"HO, HO, HO MERRY CHRISTMAS, AMARI" says Santa Claus as he comes into the room.

"SANTA!" yells Amari. "You came to see me."

"I did," he says. "I hear you've been a really good girl this year," he says. "You have made very good choices, you've listened to your mom and you helped out around the house. Is that true?"

"Yes," she smiles.

"Very good and Gatsby, I heard you have been a very good big sister. I heard you like to help take care of your sister and you don't get upset when your mom has to focus on her. You made good choices and listened to your mom. Is that true?"

"Yes, Santa," she smiles. "That's true."

"I love when children are good throughout the year and stay on the nice list. Since you two have both been very good girls this year I have a present for each of you," he says as he opens a black sack. "Merry Christmas!" he says before handing them each a present. "I hope that you both continue to be good little girls next year and that you remain on the nice list. Merry Christmas!" he says before giving them each a hug before he leaves the room. The girls open their presents to find that they each got a friendship bracelet maker which we spend the afternoon working on, making friendship bracelets and Amari makes a special blue and white bracelet to send to her donor.

The next two weeks went faster than I had ever expected and every day since her transplant Amari was seen by Dr. Anderson and monitored to see how her body was reacting to the transplant. The first day was the hardest as she wasn't really feeling her best but she soon started to feel better. Day after day Dr. Anderson monitored her to check out to see if the stem cells had been doing their job. It took about 5 days, 2 transfusions of red blood cells and platelets before the stem cells started to reproduce and make new blood cells for her body. The good news was that her body was not attacking the new cells nor was it attacking the stem cells or the red blood cells transfused into her body. We are on the final day as long as her white blood cell count is up and the red blood cell count is up from where it was yesterday. Dr. Anderson had just finished his daily checkup of Amari's blood cell count. We are waiting for the results and hoping to be discharged from the hospital. "Well," says Dr. Anderson as he comes into Amari's hospital room. "I have some really good news for you. Amari is having a really good day. Her body is continuing to handle the transplant well. I checked her blood cell count and her white blood cell count is way up from yesterday as is her red blood cell count. Everything is looking good and I am going to discharge her today."

"That's awesome!" I say with a smile.

"I can go home?" asks Mari.

"You can go home but we're still not done yet. We still have a long way to go but I think she is well enough to go home. She will still need to come here daily for a check up and to be monitored. If her blood cell count doesn't increase or it decreases she will need to be hospitalized again. Her immune system is still very, very weak and it can still be compromised. It is important that you avoid anyone with a cold, the flu or any type of illness otherwise it could be deadly for her. A cold could be fatal due to her weak immune system it will get stronger as her white blood cell count increases but it is best to be cautious don't take her out into crowds, make sure she's washing her hands, everyone that comes into contact with her is washing her hands and if you need to take her out in public in a heavy populated area please put a mask on her to protect her."

"All right," I say. "So she's definitely in remission?"

"Yes, she's still in remission and I hope she stays in remission but with this transplant and how well the body is responding to it I would say she's doing pretty well."

"Thank-you so much, Dr. Anderson!"

"You're welcome," he smiles.

"Thank-you, Dr. Anderson," says Mari. "You're wearing the bracelet I made you," she smiles.

"I am because it's very special to me. You're a very special and strong little girl. You're a fighter. You're a little warrior," he says making her smile.

"I love you, Dr. Anderson!" she says before she gives him a hug.

"I love you too," he says hugging her back as I hold back the tears. For over a year this man has worked with my daughter, he has been with her since day 1 of her Neuroblastoma. I want him to be there as we are finally done with the hospital stays, the checkups and the chemo, he has been amazing with her. I am grateful for the relationship they have and if it wasn't for him we wouldn't have made it this far because everyone else brushed it off as just a virus in her system while he went beyond that, he did the tests and he found it. He's been amazing and I am forever grateful for him. He is one of the best doctors. With that I thank him one more time before he leaves the room to get her discharge papers ready and within the hour we are discharged from the hospital to go home.

 **MEANWHILE:**

I walk into my home in Tampa, Florida after being in Pensacola with my family for the holidays as well as out on the road for the last two weeks. I lay my luggage down by the door as I hold the mail that I picked up from my mailbox. I let my pet husky Blue off his leash allowing him to take off through the house with the excitement of being home after two weeks. I flip through the mail and see bills, catalogues and finally I see I got something from the recipient of my bone marrow. I smile as I open the letter. I look over it and read it.

 _Dear Donor,_

 _My daughter and I cannot thank-you enough for your donation for your kindness in donating your bone marrow. It could have taken months maybe even years until they found a match to her and I am so grateful that within a week you came up as a match and you chose to continue the process. I am forever grateful for your kindness and love you have poured out for my daughter. She is just 6 years old and has been battling Neuroblastoma for over a year. She has just finished getting her chemo and is now in remission. The only thing left was the bone marrow transplant which went very well. The first day was the hardest for her but after that she got stronger. She is being monitored every day and so far her body is responding well to the transplant. Her white blood cells and red blood cells keep increasing and if it keeps up we will be out of the hospital by the first or second week of January. A; since I cannot give you her name, is very grateful for you and she thanks you for the donation as well as the panda bear you gave her. She clung to it so tightly through the transplant and sleeps with it every night along with her new doll she got for Christmas. She also enjoys the art supplies you sent her she is very into coloring and drawing as well as painting it has kept her very busy during her hospital stay in fact she has painted and colored you some pictures as her way of saying thank-you. Like I said, myself and A are very lucky you came into our lives, very thankful that you were a match and very thankful you donated your bone marrow for her to be healthy again. It is going to be a long road until she is fully recovered and we are taking baby steps but we are going to get there. I hope that you had a wonderful Christmas with your family and hopefully if you have children they had a very nice Christmas with you and your wife. I am so thankful for you I just want you to know that. I am a very strong Christian woman and life has been hard, I prayed day and night for a donor for my baby girl. I prayed very hard and you came long faster than I have ever seen. We call you our angel and our hero. Thank-you so much. I hope that one day we are able to meet you but for now I would like to remain having contact with you as long as you're okay with that. I just want to thank you once more and A says thank-you as well. I hope that you had a great Christmas and hope that you have a very wonderful New Year. Also A made you a friendship bracelet as a way to say thank-you. I attached it to the end of this letter for you._

 _Thank-you, much love and appreciation,_

 _M._

I smile as I remove the blue and white friendship bracelet from the letter. I put it on my wrist smiling as I admire it. I will cherish this bracelet as it is a gift of appreciation from a very special little girl. I go through the envelope and pull out the pictures she colored for me and the paintings she painted. She's a very talented 6 year old when it comes to art. My favorite picture is a painting of what looks like a beach with a beautiful sunset over the ocean with a little girl standing in the picture with a man. I smile as I take it to the kitchen and hang it up on my fridge before putting the other pictures in a safe place to keep them. It hasn't been that long but I already feel our lives starting to entwine and that we will all be very good friends. When I donated my bone marrow our lives were forever changed in a good way.

 ***A/N: So what did you think? What do you think of Madden, Amari and Gatsby? What do you think about Roman? Are you ready for them to meet yet? What do you think about the gifts Roman gave to Amari before her transplant? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	4. Not Ready

***Thank-you to everyone that has followed, alerted and favorited this story. Thank-you for all the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated thank-you so much***

I'm sitting in the kitchen of my sister's house after being home for a couple days. Mari was more than happy to come home to her bed and to enjoy spending more time with her sister. She hates hospitals and she hates having to stay a long time. I can't say that I blame her the last year has been in and out of the hospital with bi-weekly trips to get intense chemotherapy, radiation and now she has daily trips to get her blood cells checked not to mention she still has to be checked for tumors and for cancer regularly. I can't wait for the day we are no longer going to the hospital every day or bi-weekly. I just keep praying for a normal life not only for me but for my baby girl. I know she enjoys home school but she wants to go to school with the other kids, she wants to have a real teacher, a real classroom a real cubby. I tried to make her own little space like a classroom but it's not the same. I want her to be able to attend birthday parties, make friends, go to parties and have parties of her own. I want her to be able to play outside with other kids in the neighborhood but she's been a prisoner to her disease for the last year and it breaks my heart because there's nothing I can do. I have wished every day I could take her place, take her pain, take her sadness and take away every treatment. It's never easy to see your child sick, to watch her fight for her life never knowing if she is going to make it or not, we got lucky this time but there's nothing stopping the cancer from coming back in the next year or the next couple years. I pray and hope it doesn't but it's likely that it could. "Madden," says my sister interrupting my thoughts as she comes into the kitchen. "You all right?"

"I haven't been all right for two years, Kenzie," I say honestly, "and I'm just looking over all this stuff."

"What is it?" she asks sitting down with me after getting us each a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"It's Make A Wish stuff for Mari, Dr. Anderson said that she is eligible to have a wish granted due to her illness and recovery. He told me to look into it and I have. I think it's a really cool idea because let's face it there is so much she wants to do that I can't do for her because I don't have the money to do it. I don't have the money to take her to Disneyworld, Hawaii or take her anywhere. I don't have the money to pay for ballet lessons for her which she misses like crazy. She's not even strong enough to do ballet right now but I know she misses it. I feel like a complete failure as a mother," I say with tears in my eyes. "I can hardly buy my kids Christmas presents or buy them food. I don't even own my own house anymore and I am on my own with everything. I can't believe in the last year I went through all the money left from Wyatt and every check we get goes into helping toward this house and buying what little bit of clothes or medicine I can for the girls. I don't even want to think about the medical bills that are going to start coming in and she just had this transplant and a two week stay. I'm going to need to sell an organ just to pay everything off. My credit is shit and I lost my house because I don't have a job. And every time I tried to get her into St. Jude's or Shriner's she wasn't eligible and now we're stuck. It's a lot knowing you can't provide for your kids and I just feel like the worst mother in the world right now."

"I'm going to stop you right there," she says touching my hand as the tears fall from my eyes. "You are one of the best mothers I know. You fought for your daughter. Doctors were telling you she just had a virus and you didn't take that answer you kept searching for answers. You fought till you found out what was wrong with your baby girl and you got her the best medical care you possibly could. You love both of those girls with your entire heart and they never lack love from you. You are not the worst mom people have tough times, they find themselves in hardships it happens and that's life but that doesn't make you a bad person. Your kids are still fed, have a roof over their head and have all your love. You are nowhere near being the worst mom in the world nor are you a failure, Madden. You're one amazing mom and your kids see that and they understand things are tough but they aren't always going to be tough. Soon you will be able to get all of your lives back to normal. It will happen for you I am sure you will be able to go back to work and we aren't kicking you out, Madden. You are allowed to stay here as long as you'd like until you are back up on your feet. It's not like right now we are like Mari is in remission and had her transplant you have to get out. Recovery time and rebuilding lives after cancer is a long process and you can stay as long as you'd like and as long as you need to. I enjoy having Mari and Gatsby here and I enjoy having you here so don't worry about having to get out of here as fast as you can."

I let out a breath and say, "I don't want to be a burden to you guys."

"You're my sister you're not a burden. Family is supposed to help family, if you can't depend on your family then who can you depend on?"

"Thanks, Kenz," I say wiping my tears. "It's just hard."

"I know, Madden but you're getting there and I wouldn't worry too much about those medical bills there are organizations that offer grants to help pay off medical expenses especially in your case. It doesn't matter if you have bad credit they are there to help in cases like this and it's not a loan so you never have to pay back the money they will just pay the medical expenses."

"Really?" I ask.

"Really," she says. "I can get you some information these organizations and then you can go from there."

"Thanks, Kenz," I say with a smile. "You're a pretty awesome big sister."

"I try," she smiles, "so this may not seem like the time to bring this up but I think you need some time to focus on you and your happiness."

"Kenz," I warn, "don't."

"Come on, Madden it's been nearly 2 years since Wyatt and you haven't dated anyone or even been with a man. Are you going to be celibate until you die?"

"Kenz!" I say feeling my face heat, "first I am not even over losing Wyatt. We had so many dreams and plans for our lives that we never got to live out and I never really got to say goodbye to him. He was everything to me, he was the other part of my soul and now he's gone. I have to keep going on and living without him and raise our girls without him. This isn't how it was supposed to be. I have no interest in dating or sleeping with anyone especially right now. I just want to keep my focus on Mari, getting back on my feet and getting my life back together. I don't have time for a boyfriend or anything like that. My life is dedicated to Mari and Gatsby making sure they are both well."

"It's just one date, Madden," she says. "Just one date, I'm not asking you to marry him. It's just a date and he's a really nice good looking guy. I think you two will hit it off."

"Kenz, I don't know. I'm not ready to date."

"It's just one date I promise and if you don't like it you don't have to continue seeing him. He's a really nice guy."

"What's his name?" I ask out of curiosity not because I am thinking of entertaining her thought of me dating because honestly I don't want to date anyone or be involved with anyone.

"Chuck," she says, "His name is Chuck and he's 34 years old, has a good job obviously as he works with me of course."

"Of course," I roll my eyes. "I don't know, Kenz."

"At least give him a chance. You might actually like him and you might actually find a boyfriend."

"Why does it matter so much?"

"Because you deserve to be happy and focus on yourself too, I think you and Chuck will be good for each other."

"I'm not convinced," I say, "but if it will make you stop harassing me about this then I will go on ONE date with him."

"Nice," she says with a smile as if she just won a huge victory. I have no interest in this guy but only doing it to appease her and to have her stop asking me to date. "And what's up with this donor guy? When do you get to meet him?"

"I don't know whenever the waiting period is over. He seems like a nice guy I mean he gave Mari all those gifts and that letter he wrote was sweet. I plan to keep in touch with him so that we can meet someday."

"What if he is like the hottest guy in the world? And he's single?" she asks.

"Then he's the hottest guy in the world but I highly doubt he would be single besides I would never look at him that way. He saved my baby girl's life and now we will forever be entwined but in a friendship, comfort type of way," I say.

"I guess that's true but you never know what fate can do."

"I thought you wanted me with Chuck, now you want me with Mari's donor?" I ask with amusement.

"I want you with someone that will make you happy and treat you like you deserve and treat the girls the same. I just want you to be happy."

"I don't need a man to be happy. I have two little girls that make me happy," I say as Mari comes into the kitchen cutting the conversation off where it is. "Hey, Baby Girl, what's up?"

"Nothing," she says making her way to me. I pick her up and put her in my lap. "I was just thinking."

"Thinking about what?" I ask as I kiss the top of her head.

"Am I ever going to get my hair back? I miss my ponytails," she says.

"I'm sure you will someday but it's going to take some time for it to grow back. But you are getting some fuzz growing in."

"Will it be the same as before I got sick?"

"I don't know, I hope so but only time will tell," I say. "You still look beautiful to me."

"Thank-you, Mommy," she says. "Can I go back to ballet yet?"

"We're going to keep ballet on hold for a while. When you finally get to go to school then we will talk about ballet okay?"

"Okay. I miss ballet," she says wrapping her arms around me, "just like I miss daddy."

"I miss daddy too," I say with a soft smile. "You look so much like your daddy it's unbelievable. You are his twin."

"I am?"

"You are," I smile. "We could call you Wyatt Jr."

"But I am a girl! And I like my name." She giggles at the thought.

"I think you have a beautiful name, you know what your name means?" I ask.

"No what does it mean?"

"It means strength or sometimes promised by God," I smile, "and I think it suits you very well as you are one of the strongest little girls I know in this world."

"That's pretty cool," she says cuddling close to me. "I made more pictures for the donor," she announces.

"Well, let's give him time to answer back before we send him more pictures. I think that he may be a busy man and we don't want to overwhelm him okay?"

"Okay, Mommy," she says looking down at the table, "What's that?"

"That," I say, "is Make-a-Wish information. You are able to make a wish and they will grant it for you since you had Neuroblastoma."

"That's cool, what can I wish for?"

"You can wish to take a vacation somewhere, be someone, meet a celebrity or for an item that you don't have that you would really like," I say. "It's completely up to you but you can only wish for one thing and one thing only and they will grant that wish."

"Hmm," she says thinking about her choices. "I really like Jojo Siwa maybe I want to meet her," she says, "but I also like Ariana Grande too and Maddie Zeigler. I want to be a ballerina."

I smile and say, "whatever you want, Mari it is your choice to choose whatever."

"What about Hawaii to the Disney place in Hawaii?" she asks.

"You want to go to Hawaii? Aulani is what you're asking about," I say.

"Yes! I am Hawaiian and it's a really pretty place. I want to meet Moana in Hawaii. That's my wish. I wish to go to Aulani to meet Moana."

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"I'm sure," she says with a nod.

"All right," I say with a smile. "Hawaii here we come," I say nervously. Just thinking about going to Hawaii makes me nervous knowing that's where Wyatt's family lives. The chances of running into them are slim but you never know.

 **MEANWHILE:**

I'm sitting in my locker room getting ready for the house show when Seth comes into the room. "Hey, Uce," he says.

"Hey," I say, "what's up?"

"Nothing, just wanted to see how you were doing. I know you were off for a little bit due to personal reasons everything okay?"

"Everything is great," I say.

"And how were the holidays with the family in Pensacola?"

"Good, I needed that time with my family. It's been a while since I have been able to get time in with my family. It was great seeing everyone and getting that time with them."

"Sounds good," he says. "Nice bracelet," he says talking about the bracelet I got from A.

"Thanks," I say with a smile. "I like it. It means a lot to me."

"Did one of your nieces make it for you?" he asks.

"No," I say. "I got it from a special friend."

"Like the painting on your fridge?" he asks.

"How do you know about the painting on the fridge?" I ask.

"Nia told me about it, she said you have a painting on the fridge from a little kid," he says. "so what little kid."

"First Nia talks too much," I say talking about my cousin who is also my roommate to cut down on the cost of living alone in Tampa. "Second, it doesn't matter what little kid."

"Do you have a child out there that we don't know about?" he asks as Dean comes into the room. "And you just found out about it?"

"No," I say, "that's ridiculous. I wish I had a kid and if Kate would still be alive we probably would have had 2 kids by now at least maybe 3 but we never got that blessing in our lives before she was taken away from me."

"Well, before Kate you had a pretty rambunctious lifestyle sleeping with all these women you met on the road back in the developmental days. I wasn't sure if it finally caught up to you or not."

"Seth, you're so ridiculous. Do you think I would sleep with any female without any type of protection? First going on an anti-biotic for the clap or any other STD is not my cup of tea and I prefer for it not to burn when I pee, second, I don't risk pregnancies. Anyone can say they are on the pill or some type of birth control and be lying about it. I don't have a kid out there that I didn't know about."

"You sure?" asks Seth.

"Positive," I say.

"Never used that pull and pray method with anyone?" he asks.

"I don't know what I walked into but it's pretty entertaining," says Dean.

"Pull and pray, do you think that even works? That's the least effective birth control there is," I say, "and Dean nothing just Seth being ridiculous. I don't have a kid out there that I don't know about and I am 100% sure."

"Man, I am sure I have a couple kids out there," nods Dean, "and don't tell Renee I said that."

"Look," says Seth, "Roman got a bracelet from a kid and there is a kid's drawing on his fridge I just asked him if he had a kid out there that he just found out about."

"Seth, that is pretty ridiculous maybe a fan gave it to him or maybe some kid he knows gave it to him."

"Thank-you," I say, "Dean, thank-you for having some sense in your head."

"So where did you get the picture and the bracelet, wait you're dating someone that has a kid right?" asks Seth.

"No it isn't anything like that," I say. "Nothing like that. I told you how many times I have no interest in dating or being with another woman. I am not ready to be with another woman after Kate. Believe it or not I am still mourning the loss of my wife. I didn't expect to lose her so early in our marriage. It wasn't even a year before she passed."

"Okay," says Seth, "so you're never going to date again?"

"I'm not ruling it out, I'm just not ready to date or sleep with anyone. I'm just chilling living my life."

"So the picture and the bracelet," says Dean. "I'm intrigued."

"All right, I'm a donor," I say.

"A sperm donor?" asks Dean with shock, "you donated sperm?"

"NO! God no, not that there's anything wrong with it it's just not something I would do. I'm a bone marrow and stem cell donor," I say. "I had leukemia 11 years ago and now that I am 10 years in remission I was finally able to become a donor which is something I always wanted to do. I put a sample into the data base and a week and a half later I get a call saying that I am a match for someone in need of a bone marrow transplant. I continued the process and donated my bone marrow to a little girl in the Philadelphia area but she could be from anywhere since Philadelphia is such a broad area with a children's hospital anyway she had neuroblastoma and she was in need of a transplant because her bone marrow and cells were destroyed by the Chemo and the cancer she is just 6 years old. I gave her a few gifts and wrote a letter in return she gave me a bracelet and colored me a picture to say thank-you. It means a lot to me because I saved this little girl's life and from what her mother says she's been doing pretty good and doing pretty well with the transplant her cell count is higher than before and her body didn't attack my stem cells so she's doing well. The bracelet means a lot to me because our lives are entwined now and she's a part of my life. I can't meet her and her family yet but I hope to soon. We are keeping in touch writing letters back and forth until we can meet."

"Maybe she's a wrestling fan and if she does Make a Wish she will wish to meet you," says Seth.

"See I thought about that too but something about this little girl doesn't tell me that she's a wrestling fan. And besides if that would be her wish it was a waste of wish because she still gets to meet me anyway. But have I already met her visiting the children's hospitals or granting wishes. Like I don't even know if we have crossed paths yet in this life."

"What's her name?" asks Seth.

"No idea," I say, "I just know her mom's name starts with M and her name starts with A. We can't tell each other our names, occupations, where we live or anything that will reveal our identities we just have to wait until we meet which I hope is soon."

"Gotcha," says Seth. "You aren't worried about donating bone marrow to a complete stranger? What if they ask you for money?"

"I doubt they are going to ask me for money and no I'm not worried about donating bone marrow to a stranger it was something that saved this little girl and gave her another shot at living a normal life. That's all that matters to me," I say.

"I bet the mom is a total hottie," says Dean.

"Is that all you can say out of all of this is that her mom is a hottie? And her mom is probably married."

"So the thought crossed your mind huh? What if she's a single hot mom?" he asks.

"You are both ridiculous. Then she would be a single hot mom whose daughter received my bone marrow it's not a big deal."

"Sure," says Dean. "That would be a pretty hot story you know falling in love with the mother of the little girl whose life you saved," he nods.

"And with that I am going to get something to eat, you both are ridiculous," I say standing up and shaking my head at them. I walk out of the locker room to make my way to catering forgetting everything Seth and Dean just said to me about this poor woman and her daughter. I just need to take some time to sit down and write my next letter to A and M just to see how everything is going with A's recovery. I haven't stopped thinking about her since I got the call.

 ***A/N: So what did you think? What do you think about Mari's wish to go to the Disney Resort in Hawaii? What about Madden having a tough time with everything and her agreeing to go out on a date? What did you think of Seth, Dean and Roman in the locker room? Are Roman and Madden more like than they realize? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	5. What Hurts The Most

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

I wish I could say that the last few weeks and couple months were as great as the day Mari left the children's hospital after having her transplant but I can't. Everything was great for a couple weeks at least for about a month after her transplant but then things got bad again. Mari went in one day for her daily scan to see how her body was responding to the cells and Dr. Anderson discovered that her new cells were starting to decrease instead of increase. Her numbers were dropping and became too low so she was once again put into the hospital because her immune system developed strength but because of the new found strength it started to attack her new cells in defense. She ended up getting very sick and ended up back in the hospital for at least a month where she received 3 transfusions of red blood cells and platelets into her system to help the stem cells from her transplant to reproduce new cells on their own to build her cell count back up. Thankfully after about a month in the hospital her white and red blood cell count was back up to where Dr. Anderson was happy enough to send her home to get rest with the same restrictions as before and still daily trips to be monitored. I just keep praying her body doesn't start attacking the cells once again. She was doing so well and things seemed to be looking better for her but she still has a long way to go until she is completely recovered. That day can't come soon enough for either of us.

Over the last couple months not only did Amari end up in a hospital for over a month she was also granted her wish to go to Aulani; Disney's Hawaiian resort in Hawaii but that is still a month away before we are able to get out of Philadelphia to go to Hawaii, it will be nice to get out of the cold winter weather as we are having one of the worst winters we have ever had here in Philadelphia with multiple snowstorms and one of the biggest blizzards in years. It will be nice to get out to the Pacific Island and enjoy the beautiful tropical island. I personally love Hawaii and it is one of my favorite places to visit as Wyatt and I made many trips to Hawaii in the few years we were married to visit his family but with their disdain toward me it was never really a fun time. I am excited to actually go and enjoy time with my girls. I walk into Amari's bedroom and see her sitting on the edge of her bed in a black long sleeved dress with pink and light purple roses and many different butterflies on it with a pink butterfly headband on her head over the inch of hair she has grown back. She was very excited to start growing her hair back that J as we had learned to call him bought her many different kinds of headbands in celebration of her getting her hair back. I thought it was a beautiful gesture on his part. He's been pretty awesome the last few months and we have kept in touch with him sending letters back and forth, he would sometimes send Amari gifts such as stuffed animals, arts and crafts supplies to help her pass the time in the hospital, he even sent her a get well basket with many different items in it from LOL Surprise Dolls, water bottle, some treats she is able to eat, stuffed animals and some American Girl books for her to read with me. Of course we always thanked him and I did the best that I could to send him gifts back at least what I could afford but Amari and J were starting to develop a bond through their letters and through all the artwork and friendship bracelets she was sending him. He has been so sweet with her which is why when Dr. Anderson finally said we could meet him we were beyond ecstatic.

"Hey, Mari," I say walking into her room. "What's up?"

"Thinking," she says as she looks at me with her dark brown eyes as she holds her American Girl doll in her arms.

"Thinking about what?" I ask looking around hers and Gatsby's bedroom. It's such a cramped space for them as they share a room with my sister's little girl. I'm sure that my niece Layla wasn't big on the idea of having to give up some of her space to share with two other little girls that moved their stuff into her room making everything that much smaller. It is a beautiful lilac painted bedroom with beautiful empowering quotes hanging around the room on the walls, a white book shelf with lots of books on it, Barbie dolls and a dream house in the bedroom with other toys put away nicely into the toy box and the closet but with a set of bunk beds and a bed it's a little cramped.

"I don't know," she says with a shrug. "Mr. J," she says.

"What about Mr. J?" I ask.

"I'm nervous to meet him," she says.

"Why would you be nervous to meet him? Doesn't he seem like a very nice man? He has always asked how you are doing and he told you everything he could about him like that he has a Siberian Husky for a pet, he loves the summer because he loves going to the beach, his favorite color is dark blue and his favorite food is sushi just like you told him everything about you," I say. "Why are you nervous?"

"I don't know. My tummy just feels funny," she says honestly.

"Maybe you just have butterflies in your tummy," I say, "you may not be nervous at all you're probably anxious and excited and that's making the butterflies in your stomach flutter. And that's okay. I think I have butterflies too. It's going to be okay."

"All right, Mommy," she says. "I hope he's nice."

"I think he will be," I say with a smile. He can't be a terrible person, a terrible person wouldn't have donated their bone marrow to a child and wouldn't want to keep in touch with her as well as meet her. "He's going to be here soon so let me help you put your shoes on."

"Okay, Mommy," she says with a bright smile as I grab a pair of black boots to put on her feet. I have to admit I am pretty nervous about meeting this man and allowing him to meet Mari mainly because they developed a bond through their letters and keeping in touch with one another that I don't want her to be disappointed if after we meet him that he disappears. I don't think he would do that but what if he doesn't like her or us then decides the contact needs to be cut, I don't want Amari to be hurt any more than she already has in the last two years.

Once Mari has her boots on we go downstairs to the living room. I see that it is nearly 1 in the afternoon and my nerves start to get the best of me knowing that in the next 10 or 15 minutes the man that saved my baby girl's life when he donated his bone marrow will be standing face to face with Amari and me. I have so many questions about what he looks like, who he is and what he does. I mean it's great we know his hobbies, his likes and dislikes but we don't know much else because there was only some information we were allowed to give to one another. I hope for things to be better and different after this meeting. I am anxious to see Mari's reaction to him and his reaction to her. I'm nervous about my own reaction to him. I walk around to make sure everything is nice and tidy before checking myself out in the bathroom mirror to make sure I look all right. I chose to wear a black long sleeved shirt with a tan faux fur vest with a pair of distressed jeans with my hair hanging down to my shoulder blades. I look Amari over to make sure she's put together and smile knowing she is. "Relax, Madden," I whisper to myself. "It's going to be okay. You've been waiting for this moment for months. It's okay, everything is going to be okay," I say before taking a deep breath and letting it out to calm my nerves. "You got this, Madden," I promise myself as the doorbell rings and my heart stops. "Mari! Mr. J is here, do you want to answer the door?" I ask her.

"YES!" she yells with excitement.

"Okay," I say as I follow behind her with my cellphone to record the interaction. She hurries to the door and looks at me as she reaches the door with her hand on the knob giving me a look asking me for permission. "Go ahead," I say, "open it." I hold the camera up as she turns the doorknob and opens the front door. When she opens the door my jaw nearly drops to the floor as there is one of the most gorgeous men standing on the other side of it. I never expected that. He looks down at her with a smile as he stands holding a giant white unicorn with a rainbow horn and hooves in his arm wearing a black jacket definitely not fit for the Philadelphia cold, a pair of dark blue jeans that fit him quite nicely with a pair of Nike sneakers. He wears a black beanie cap over his head and he has somewhat of a beard growing but his smile is absolutely beautiful, as beautiful as he is.

I get out of my rental car in front of the house in the outskirts of Philadelphia at the address that I was given to from M so that I could meet her and her daughter. It's definitely colder in Philadelphia than I expected so my jacket isn't the warmest but it's enough. I shut the car door and get into my trunk to pull out the giant unicorn I bought for A and the card I have for her. To say I am nervous is an understatement. I am terrified to meet this little girl but yet have a little bit of excitement inside of me as I have never seen what she looks like or know that much about her. Information was limited in our letters back and forth. I know she spent a lot of time in the hospital fighting cancer and then just got out of the hospital a couple weeks ago after her immune system started to attack the new cells in her body. I was very worried about her and the time she was spending in the hospital. I wish I could have been there for her in person because being that little and facing something so big you need all the support you can get. I know that she loves to draw and paint, I know she loves ballet but can't do ballet until she's feeling a little bit better or completely healed from her cancer. I know she likes dogs but can't have one right now because of her immune system and it's a lot of responsibility for her to take on right now. I know that yellow is her favorite color, chicken nuggets are her favorite food, her favorite movie is Moana and she knows the Moana soundtrack by heart. I realize that this little girl is probably Polynesian of some kind which is why I was a match to her. I walk up to the front door and ring the doorbell waiting nervously swaying back and forth on my feet as I wait for the door to open.

The door opens after a few minutes and I look down and smile at the most beautiful little girl in the world with the biggest dark eyes I have ever seen, the most beautiful tan skin matching my complexion tears fill my eyes as I look down at her. "Hey, How are you? I am Joe," I say before she wraps her arms around my leg. I kneel down to her height and hug her back as she breaks down crying in my arms. I hold her tight as I feel the tears falling from my eyes. This is it, the moment our lives are fully entwined as we meet each other.

"Thank-you," she cries, "thank-you," she holds onto me tight.

"You're welcome," I say as I hear my voice crack. "You're welcome."

"Thank-you," I hear the sweetest softest voice before I look up to see this beautiful woman standing in front of me. She's beautiful and my breath is taken away in the moment. She has beautiful deep blue eyes that remind me of the sea with the most beautiful smile and her body, her body is perfect as she stands in a black shirt, faux fur vest and distressed jeans. She's not petite, she's not large just has the right body type for me. I mean, I don't know. I stand up holding A in my arms as she cries on my shoulder not wanting to let me go. "Hey," she says with a smile.

"Hey," I smile back before I shake her hand. "I'm Joe."

"Joe, it's nice to meet you," she says, "I am Madden and that's Amari," she says.

"Amari," I say, "that's a beautiful name." Another little girl comes into the room with long dark hair mimicking Moana's hair with the same skin complexion as Amari they look nearly identical at first I think they could be twins.

"And this is my daughter Gatsby, she's Amari's older sister."

"Nice to meet you," I say before shaking her hand. I walk inside the door and Madden closes it behind me.

"Nice to meet you too," she says, "thank-you for saving my sister."

"You're welcome," I smile.

"Can I get you anything to drink or eat? I know you probably want to go out and do something but right now it's best for Amari to stay in the house and avoid large crowds to avoid getting sick. I thought we could hang out here, play with the girls, watch a movie or something."

"I understand," I say, "I had leukemia once. I know how weak your immune system becomes. I am all for watching a movie. Do you have Moana?" I ask Amari as I put her down on her feet to give her the unicorn.

"YES!" she says with excitement. "I love Moana!"

"I do too," I say with a smile.

"You do?" she asks.

"I do," I say. "It's one of my favorite movies and you know what?"

"What?"

"Maui is my cousin, the man that plays Maui is my cousin."

"That is so cool! I'm going to meet Moana in Hawaii," she says. "That's my wish!"

"I am so jealous," I say with a smile. "I got you something," I say giving her the unicorn. "I mean it's nearly as big as you are."

"I love it!" she says with a smile. "Thank-you, Mr. Joe," she says making me smile before giving me a hug.

"You're welcome," I smile.

Madden makes us some popcorn and gets each of us something to drink while we watch the movie. Madden and I sit on the large black leather couch in the living room as Gatsby and Amari sit between us to watch the movie. I surprise the girls as I sing along with them during the movie and I laugh with them. When the movie is over we play a few games together while I tell them a little more about myself how I am a professional wrestler in the WWE so my schedule is pretty hectic sometimes and I tell them how I live in Tampa, Florida while I enjoy traveling Florida will always be home to me because I enjoy the diversity, the weather and the fact I am so close to my family. I tell them about my family and the girls tell me that they live with their aunt, uncle and their little cousin. I kind of guessed that their father was not in the picture but I don't know why but not my business to ask. Madden explains that they have lived all over because of their dad's job but ended up in the outskirts of Philadelphia because she didn't want to live in the city. She explains how she used to be a nurse before she quit her job to take care of Amari while she's been sick and to homeschool her.

Later that afternoon after we play games and play tea party Mari passes out on the couch from exhaustion and Gatsby goes up to their room to read leaving Madden and I alone. I can't deny an attraction to her. She's beautiful and she's smart but her kindness and sweetness is what gets me the most. I don't know if the attraction is mutual but I feel it between us. She's absolutely gorgeous and her daughters are beautiful and sweet. I just love them already especially Mari it's like we are connected and entwined. "Sorry," says Madden. "Sometimes she gets really exhausted. She had a really busy afternoon. I'm surprised she made it this far and this long without falling asleep."

"It's okay," I say.

"I was wondering if you would like to stay for dinner tonight. I know you're a wrestler and everything so I don't know how limited your time is and if you need to catch a flight out of here to get to work but the invitation is open for you to stay for dinner," she says with a smile as we stay on the couch.

"I have to work tomorrow but we have a show but it's here in Philly which is why I chose this weekend to meet you so if you don't mind I'll stay for dinner."

"That would be wonderful," she smiles, "My sister, her husband and my niece are out of town for the weekend so I'm glad I have someone else here with me."

"No problem," I say with a smile, "so what's for dinner?"

"I was thinking of making baked chicken, green beans and macaroni and cheese," she says.

"Sounds good thank-you for allowing me to stay for dinner," I say, "and I can help you out if you would like."

"You know how to cook?" she asks.

"I have some skills in the kitchen," I flash her a smile.

"Hmm, that sounds interesting," she says standing up. "I try to make meals that aren't going to upset her stomach. I'm going to do macaroni and cheese for you, me and Gatsby but I have to do plain macaroni for her other than having cancer she suffers from a lactose intolerance she can't eat macaroni and cheese."

"I see," I say as I stand up. "So have you ever been to a WWE show?"

"I can't say that I have," she says, "I was never really that into wrestling but I know about WWE and how they used to do Tribute to the Troops and put on a show for the military and those in the army."

"We still do that," I smile, "it's one of my favorite things to do. I love performing for the troops for all the time and sacrifice they do for our country. How did you know about that?"

"My husband, Amari and Gatsby's father Wyatt was in the military. He used to follow WWE and used to be into that stuff but I just wasn't. He was actually deployed about 3 years ago over to the Middle East. We all thought he was going to come back but while he was over there he never made it back. He died in an explosion and never made it. He was leaving the next day to come home to us," she says with tears in her eyes. "It's been two years since he's been gone so it's just been Gatsby, Mari and me," she says. "And then Mari got sick and everything started crashing down again after we started building a normal life again without Wyatt. It's been hard on the girls and me. I had to quit my job to tend to Mari after fighting for so long for the doctors to see that there was more than just a viral infection going on. It finally took me to find Dr. Anderson for him to realize it was more than a viral infection and it was Neuroblastoma. I'm just waiting for everything to finally get back to normal and hopefully go back to work, send Mari to school and hopefully find a place of my own. I hate depending on people but right now the only thing I can worry about is Mari and her health and pray she stays in remission and that her body doesn't attack the new cells."

"Wow," I say, "I'm sorry if it counts for anything I think you're doing a great job. I know I don't know you that well but from what I have seen and read you are doing a pretty good job. I am sure soon everything will get back to normal for you. I know how it is to lose someone you love, you just wish that you could move on from losing them and everyone tells you to move on but you can't because you keep feeling robbed of all the time you were supposed to have with them. I don't know if there is any normalcy after that but you just adjust to living life every day without that person as hard as it may be. It's like life keeps going but you're still stuck back with that person and that's what hurts the most is you were so close to them and there was so much more time and then they were gone," I say thinking about my wife Kate and how she was taken from me.

"You know that's exactly how it feels," she says, "I assume you lost someone you loved too?"

"I did," I say with tears in my eyes. "I lost my wife about 3 years ago," I admit. "We had just gotten married 6 months before that. We had a whole lot of life ahead for us together. We had so many plans we wanted to have kids and we wanted to die old together. We had been together for years since college," I say. "She was the love of my life, she was my best friend. I put off getting married until I got further into WWE because when I was 22 I had leukemia and that really took a toll on me and I was broke. We broke up I got into wrestling shortly after going into remission when I was cleared to then I got into their developmental and soon I was in WWE and on TV and then Kate and I got back together. I proposed to Kate and within two years we were married but it didn't last long because she went to work one morning and never came back," I say realizing how similar our stories are to one another. She lost her husband while he was serving this country and I lost my wife in a similar way. "Kate was a police officer," I say and Madden nods. "She got involved in a hostage situation that turned into a shootout. She was one of the officers shot during the shootout. She never made it home," I say, "and yet I'm still stuck on 3 years ago waiting for her to come, wishing she was still here so we could live our life. So I understand the sense and need for normalcy. I needed to find normalcy after Leukemia and then after I lost my wife. I've just been going through life."

"It's crazy how you just put every bit of my emotion into words since I lost Wyatt. I feel the same way. Wyatt and I had two girls together and when he got back we were going to try for another one. We both said we wanted a son and we would be done but if we had another girl we would try one more time but secretly I think he wanted another little girl. The way he loved our girls, the way he loved me. He was so proud of the girls and they were so proud of him. I was proud of him, he got a medal for trying to save a child's life in that explosion he risked his life for a child and that's the kind of man that he was. He was a great father and I wish every day for my girls they could experience that love of a father again but my heart is still back with Wyatt two years ago, still hoping he is going to come through the door in his uniform and everything will fall back into place but life just keeps going and he still isn't coming home. It's hard."

"Yeah," I say before I can stop myself I wrap her up in a hug to comfort her, she just poured her heart out to me as I did the same to her. I felt she needs some comfort at first she's shocked but then I feel her wrap her arms around me, hugging me back and for once in 3 years something feels right. "I'm really sorry about Wyatt."

"And I am sorry about Kate," she says. "It's the worst pain someone can feel other than watching your child fight cancer."

"I have to agree," I say. We stay in a silent embrace for a few minutes and I know that she feels it too and she pulls away. I let her go and say, "so let's go cook some dinner."

"Yeah," she says with that beautiful smile and we spend the afternoon cooking dinner together and talking a little more about wrestling. I explain to her that I gave Amari 4 front row tickets to WWE RAW along with 4 backstage passes for them to enjoy. She thanks me for it and promises she will be there. I am actually looking forward to her being there with Amari and Gatsby.

 ***A/N: Well, what did you think? They finally met each other, what did you think of their first meeting? What about them pouring their hearts out to each other? Do you understand their pain a bit more? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	6. Something More

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated and thank-you to all the new followers and those that favorited the story***

Mari, Gatsby and I arrive at the Wells Fargo Arena in Philadelphia around 4 pm so that we could attend our first WWE event. I am not really a big WWE fan and the girls have never really watched it. Wyatt was really into watching WWE before he passed away. It was one of his favorite things to do but I couldn't even tell you who is who and what was going on recently. We arrive at the backstage area and we are greeted by security and we show them the backstage passes that Joe gave us. They grant us permission and send us in through the door after checking us out to make sure we are safe and are carrying no weapons. We are soon greeted by Joe. "I'm so glad that you could make it," he says with a smile.

"Thank-you for inviting us," I say with a smile. "I don't know if we are actually going to be able to enjoy the show. I'm still a little worried about taking Mari out into the crowd with all those people. I am really afraid of her getting sick," I say with concern.

"I understand," he says, "We could actually put you up in one of the suites if that would be easier for you."

"I think we will be all right, we have never really watched wrestling. Can we give our seats to someone else?" I ask.

"While that's a sweet idea I think it would be better if you could stay for the show and sit in the front row. I really want Mari to see the show tonight," he says.

"Mari, do you want to watch the show from the front row?" I ask.

"Yes," she says with a smile. "I want to see Joe wrestle, I never saw him wrestle before. I can wear my mask," she says.

"All right," I say with a smile, "I guess we are staying for the show."

"Wonderful," he says with a smile, "so are you hungry? I can take you to catering to get you something to eat and then I want to take you around to meet some of the other superstars."

"That would be great," I say with a smile.

"Mari, what is your favorite kind of cake?" he asks.

"I like chocolate cake," she says with a smile.

"Hmm, I think we have some chocolate cake for you in catering, did you have dinner yet?"

"No," she says, "and I'm not supposed to have sweets before I eat dinner."

"Ah," he says looking at me.

I let out a sigh and say, "You know, Mari, I think we can make one exception just this once you can have cake."

"I can?" she asks with a big smile.

"You're only 6 years old once," I say with a smile.

"This is awesome!" she squeals making me smile.

"Can I have chocolate cake too?" asks Gatsby.

"Of course," says Joe with a smile, "and your mom can have chocolate cake too." He smiles at me and I smile back at him. This man and his beautiful smile, I have not seen such a beautiful man in my life other than Wyatt. He is so gorgeous dressed in what I believe is his ring attire with his hair pulled up into a low bun and those dimples are something wicked.

"I don't know I think I am going to skip out on the chocolate cake," I say, "I'm trying to watch what I eat."

"No need for that," he says, "you look perfect! You don't have to watch what you eat, you can have a piece of chocolate cake."

"I guess I am having a piece of chocolate cake," I say with a smile.

"Great," he says before taking Gatsby's hand and Mari's hand. I follow behind him as we walk to the catering area of the arena. I watch him interact with the girls as they walk and the two of them interact with him. Mari is giggling and laughing as they walk while Gatsby is smiling up at him. It's actually a beautiful sight to see. I am glad he's so into my girls and he's so nice to Mari. They created that bond through their letters but to see their bond in person is even more special to me.

We sit down in a catering room where there are a lot of superstars gathered around eating their meals while Joe goes to get us our chocolate cake. I look around the room and see lots of women superstars gathered at one table and the male superstars spread out throughout the catering area eating. "Here's some chocolate cake," says Joe as he lays down a piece of chocolate cake in front of Mari and Gatsby.

"Thank-you," says Mari.

"Yes, thank-you!" gleams Gatsby.

"Madden, if you don't want chocolate cake I can get you something else. Would you like something else? There's chicken, quesadillas, pork all kinds of food would you like anything?"

"I'm good with the chocolate cake," I say with a smile.

"All right, I will be right back," he says before he walks away.

"This cake is delicious!" says Gatsby.

"It really is," says Mari.

"It looks good," I say as I look at the chocolate cake sitting on their plates with a double layer of chocolate with a chocolate filling and chocolate icing. Normally I'm not one for sweets but it is too good to pass up.

"I like Mr. Joe," says Mari.

"Me too," I smile. "He's very nice isn't he?"

"Yes," she says, "he is the best!" she says. "He saved my life."

"He really did," I say with a smile. "I am so grateful for him and so grateful with how awesomely he treats you two. We should do something nice for him shouldn't we?"

"Like what?" asks Gatsby.

"I don't know, I have to think about it but he deserves us to do something nice for him."

"Okay, Mommy," says Mari.

"And he's cute too right, Mom?" asks Gatsby nearly making me choke on my own spit.

"Um," I say.

"He is," says Mari with a smile. "I like his hair."

"I like his smile and his eyes," says Gatsby, "he looks a little bit like daddy. Doesn't he?"

"I mean, well, yeah he sort of does now that I think about it," I say thinking about Wyatt and thinking about Joe. They are similar when it comes to looks except Wyatt looked more Pacific Islander than Joe does.

"You should marry him!" says Gatsby.

"Yeah," I say, "I don't think that's going to happen besides it doesn't just work like that."

"Yeah, you fall in love," says Gatsby.

"Well, that's how it works but you can't just fall in love with just anyone your heart has to make that decision. Only your heart can make that decision for you, you can't just say you love someone or think that you do, you need to feel it in your heart," I say.

"So you could fall in love with him, Mom," says Gatsby.

"I don't know," I say as Joe comes back with my chocolate cake and a salad for himself thankfully ending that awkward conversation with my girls. I can't deny that there's a bit of an attraction there between us. I can't deny it at all but I doubt either of us can fall in love with the fact our hearts belong to another. I thank him for the cake as he sits down next to me.

"After we eat I want to take Mari and Gatsby down to the ring, do you think that's okay?" he asks.

"That would be SO cool," says Mari.

"I guess I don't have a choice," I smile. "So Joe, do you have any kids?" I know his wife died but they could have still had children or a child together before she passed away.

"No," he says, "Kate and I were never blessed with a child before she died. We wanted to have a child but it just didn't happen for us."

"I'm sorry," I say, "but you are just so amazing with Gatsby and Mari, I thought you may have had a child."

"No but I do have a lot of nieces and nephews. I have 5 nephews and 4 nieces," he says, "so I have had my practice with kids. I love kids and enjoy working with children. I almost wanted to be a teacher but then I decided to focus on Business and football," he says.

"That's quite a few nieces and nephews, I'm sure that you've gotten in all the practice that you need to be a dad."

"If that day ever comes, I hope that it does but I would be okay if it didn't."

"I understand," I say. "So this is what it's like backstage?"

"Pretty much," he says. "It's nothing really special it's just a bunch of us sitting back here preparing for our matches and sometimes talking," he says as a man walks up to us with blonde hair and blue eyes. "Hey, Jon," he says to him.

"Hey, Joe," he says, "who do we have here?" he asks.

"Jon, this is Amari the little girl I was telling you about and donating my bone marrow to and this is her sister Gatsby and this is her mom Madden," he introduces us, "this is my best friend Jon otherwise known as Dean Ambrose."

"It's nice to meet you," he says extending his hand to shake Mari's hand and then Gatsby's before shaking mine.

"It's nice to meet you too," I say with a smile. "I'm sorry, I don't know who you are. We don't usually watch WWE."

"I am in a member of a group called The Shield and Dean is part of the group as well as our friend Seth. Dean, Seth and I are like brothers we travel together and hang out together."

"That sounds pretty cool," I say with a smile. "So what does the Shield do exactly?"

"Well," says Jon/Dean as he takes a seat at the table with us. "We are a group of three guys when we first started out we were known as the hounds of justice and we were the bringers of justice I guess it is the same now but since we have gone our separate ways and now recently we started the shield our goals are different we're just a brotherhood."

"I see," I say. "It sounds interesting. How long have you been doing this?"

"I have been doing this for over 11 years," says Joe, "but this is my 6th year in WWE it will be 7 years in November since we debuted."

"And this is my 15th year doing this. I started when I was 17 years old and like Joe this will be my 7th year on the main roster."

"So you are truly like brothers then," I say.

"Yeah you could say that," says Dean.

"I would say I have no closer friends than Dean and Seth," says Joe. "They have my back, I have their back and they were a really big support system after I lost Kate. We just formed a bond and became close after the last 7 years."

"I see, that's great that you made such a bond."

"Isn't my mom pretty?" asks Gatsby out of nowhere making Mari chuckle. It is completely unexpected and I can tell Joe is thrown off by the random questioning of my 8 year old. "Mr. Joe?"

"Gatsby," I say, "you don't have to answer that," I say to Joe. "I'm sorry she seems to have forgotten her manners. I am really sorry." I shoot Gatsby a warning look and she gives me a taunting smile. I'm starting to feel my girls are coming against me and Joe to team us up which is impossible.

"I am going to answer that," says Joe.

"You really don't have to," I say.

"I want to," he smiles, "Gatsby, pretty is too basic a word to describe your mom. Your mom is beautiful," he says with a smile as he looks at me and I feel my face heat.

"Thank-you, Joe," I say.

"You're welcome," he smiles at me and our eyes meet I feel the attraction between us as I smile back at him.

"So when can I see the ring?" asks Mari breaking the eye contact between us. We both turn to look at her.

"As soon as we are done eating," he says.

"Cool," she says.

"So are you married?" asks Dean.

"I'm a widow, my husband died a couple years ago," I say. "He was over in the Middle East fighting and then he lost his life."

"I'm sorry for your loss," he says, "but thank-you to your husband for his sacrifice."

"I appreciate that," I say with a smile.

"Are you dating anyone?" asks Dean. It's an odd question coming from someone I just met. At first I feel like he is asking me from his own personal gain but I see the tattoo on his left ring finger telling me that she's married so I have no idea why he's asking until Joe clears his throat. "It's just a question," he shrugs.

"A question she doesn't need to answer and it's a personal question," he says, "how about we just stop asking questions and enjoy our food."

"That's a good idea," I agree with him, "but for the record no I am not dating anyone or seeing anyone. I am single just not looking for anyone right now. My main focus is on Mari and her getting better."

"I see," nods Dean. "Well, I am going to take off," he says. "Joe, I will see you later. It was nice meeting you guys," he says before he walks away.

"I am so sorry about that it seems like he has forgotten his manners. I hope that didn't make you feel uncomfortable or anything," he says.

"It was weird but I'm cool. I'm sorry that my own child put you on the spot as well. Gatsby is sorry too aren't you, Gatsby?"

"Yes, I am sorry but at least he thinks you're beautiful," she says with a smile.

"I don't think," says Joe, "I know," he says and I feel my stomach flutter for the first time since Wyatt. No one has ever made my stomach flutter except for him. This makes Gatsby smile just as I catch Joe wink at her.

Once we finish eating our cake and Joe finishes his salad he takes us to the ring. I am in awe as we walk through the curtains. I look out into the large arena and I don't know how he can put on a show in an arena where the seats are going to be filled in just an hour or so by thousands of people. He walks us down the ramp to the ring that's set up for the show. "This is SO cool," says Mari as she looks around holding onto Joe's hand.

"It really is," I say. "How do you go through this every night in front of all these people, I could never do something like that."

"Believe me when I first started I was nervous because believe it or not I am kind of a shy man. I'm not really into public speaking or being in front of crowds I used to tense up when it came to doing a promo and having a match. It took me a while to get comfortable but now I am used to it, it doesn't even faze me anymore."

"I see," I say with a nod. "I could never do it. I am not in the spotlight kind of person."

"I wouldn't have guessed," he says with a smile. "So Mari, do you want to come in the ring with me?"

"Is she allowed to?" I ask.

"Of course," he says.

"I want to," she says with a smile. He lifts her up into the ring and then lifts Gatsby up into the ring. "This is so cool!" says Mari as she walks around the ring. "Mommy, you need to come in here," she says.

"Okay," I say as I climb the metal stairs and step onto the apron, Joe holds the ropes for me to climb into by sitting on them, he takes my hand and in an instance I feel the electricity spark between us. He lets go of my hand once I am in the ring. I walk around the ring and Mari is right, it is cool. "Wow, is this what it feels like?" I ask.

"The adrenaline and excitement as you step through the ropes?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say.

"It's even more thrilling when those seats are filled with people. It's very thrilling it's a high like no other," he says as he picks Mari up. "You see that out there?" she nods, "tonight when I wrestle you, Gatsby and your Mommy are going to be sitting in those front row seats to watch the show and I have never had a better audience than you three well except for my family of course but you three will be right there."

"Cool," she says with a smile. "Is it scary to watch the show?"

"It can be a little intimidating to see it all up close but you don't have to be scared most of the time I'm not really hurt or another superstar isn't really hurt it seems that way but we are putting on a show BUT there are some instances when injuries really do happen," he says, "but you have nothing to be scared of, I am going to be okay and you're going to be okay."

"Okay," she smiles. "I want to wrestle you," she suggests.

"You want to wrestle me?" he asks. He puts her down and says, "bring it on!" Mari screams and runs at Joe tackling him to the ground in his power of course. She jumps on top of him as Gatsby joins in. I smile at their interaction and Mari play fights with Joe, "Oh no, you got me," he says as she sits on his chest. "1, 2,3! Mari wins! Mari wins!" he yells out with excitement. Mari erupts in giggles and laughter as Joe picks her up and holds her up in the air. "And the champion Amari!" I clap for her as she has a big smile on her face and Joe smiles and plays with her. I haven't seen her this happy in a long time. It's great to see her so happy for once. She really likes Joe and seeing Joe with my girls I think I am starting to like him too but in a much different way of course.

After I know Madden, Mari and Gatsby are in their seats I am in my locker room to finish getting ready for the show. I am sitting in my locker room putting my boots on when Seth and Dean both walk into the room. "What's up?" I ask them.

"We came here to ask you the same question," says Dean with a smile, "so what's up with Madden?" he asks.

"She's out there watching the show with her kids?" I ask not sure why he's asking about her.

"I meant with you and her," he says. "What's going on with her?"

"Nothing, I just met them this past weekend. We hung out a little bit and I invited them to the show I am trying to keep a positive relationship with this family because I really like Mari it's like we are connected somehow. I saved her life and I want to stay in touch with her."

"Yeah, I see that," he says, "but Madden, what about Madden?"

"I think she's an awesome mother and I think she is a great person," I say.

"And she's hot," says Dean, "and you said it yourself she's beautiful."

"I can't deny that she's beautiful," I say, "I can't say she's not beautiful because she is very beautiful."

"Uh huh and she's single," says Dean.

"And she's still mourning the loss of her husband and she has a child fighting cancer or recovering from fighting cancer she doesn't have time to date you heard her tell you that Mari is her first priority."

"Yeah but I also saw you two looking at each other," he says, "Seth, he likes her."

"Likes her?" I ask, "that sounds so middle school, I am attracted to her. I can't deny that either."

"And it looks like she's attracted to you," he says.

"So?" I ask.

"So ask her out on a date and see what she says," says Seth, "yes I know you're still getting over Kate but it's just a date why don't you ask her out on a date?"

"I don't know if it's the right thing to do I don't want things to get too complicated," I say.

"No one said they have to get complicated," says Seth, "do you want to take her out on a date?"

"I'm not opposed to the idea," I say realizing I couldn't hold back the truth. The truth is I have never been as attracted to someone as much as I am to Madden except to Kate. No one has made me feel like I do when it comes to Madden like I did with Kate. "I just don't know if it's a good idea."

"I think it's a wonderful idea," says Dean. "Look, if she needs a babysitter I will babysit so that you two can go out on a date what do you say?"

"First, Madden's daughter is getting over having cancer, she's in recovery and has spent a lot of time in the hospital and she does a lot to prevent her from getting sick so I don't think she's just going to let some random person babysit her kids," I say.

"She might," says Dean. "I'm an excellent babysitter. I mean Renee and I have two dogs and we have nieces and nephews. I think I can handle two kids," he says.

"I don't know," I say. "I just don't know if this is a good idea for everything that's happened. I don't know and I feel like I am betraying Kate."

"It is just a date, I think you should take this chance," says Seth.

"I think I am going to wait to see where everything goes first before I ask her out on a date."

"Joe," says Seth, "don't wait, I have a good feeling about this. Just ask her and see what she says."

"She is going to say yes," says Dean, "and I am going to babysit."

"You are NOT going to babysit," I say. "No."

"Renee and I will babysit," he says.

"Well, if Renee is going to help maybe but it is up to Madden. It's her choice."

"So you're going to ask her?" asks Seth.

I take a minute to think about it and say, "I'm going to ask her."

"I KNEW IT!" says Dean, "he LIKES her."

"Doesn't mean she likes me," I say.

"Yeah okay," says Dean, "you will see."

Later that night I go out into the ring for a three man tag match The Shield vs Drew McIntyre, Dolph Ziggler and Braun Strowman. I make sure I tap Mari's hand before I get into the ring for the match. I keep in my mind the whole match how I am going to work up the courage to ask Madden out on a date. I don't want things to seem weird or throw things off between us. I get along well with her. I don't want her to say no then cut me off or things to be awkward. Before I know it the match is over and I know it's not my best work because my mind wasn't in it. The Shield won anyway after I pinned Braun, the ref holds our hands up in the air before I climb out of the ring. I go to ringside where Madden, Gatsby and Mari are sitting. I lift Mari over the barrier and give her a hug telling her I dedicated the match to her. I then have her wave to the people in the audience. She waves to them and blows them a kiss. I announce that she's the true champion for defeating cancer and the crowd cheers. I even get a Mari chant going through the arena. She is a little superstar in her own right and her own champion. I hand her back to Madden before I make my way to the back.

I meet Madden in the back before she leaves for the night. I manage to stop her just as she puts the girls in the car. "Madden, wait," I say running up to her.

"Joe? What's up? That was a good match by the way."

"Thank-you," I say catching my breath. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay," she says.

"I don't want this to seem weird or anything, and I hope you don't think I am some type of weirdo but I wanted to know if you wanted to go out tomorrow night, I am still in PA tomorrow so I wanted to take you out to dinner or to a movie on a date? I realize neither of us is really ready to date but I just want to try this," I say, "so would you like to go out with me on a date?"

"Joe," she says, "I don't know what to say. I don't have a babysitter for the girls. My sister is out of town until Wednesday."

"Dean offered to babysit, him and his wife," I say.

"I don't know, I don't know Dean like that and Mari is still recovering. I don't know, Joe, I don't know about that."

"Come on, you can trust Dean and Renee. Please, Madden?" I ask.

"All right," she says. "I'll go on a date with you."

"Thank-you," I smile, "thank-you."

"You're welcome," she says with a smile, "so now I am going to get going it's late. Can you call me with all the details later?" she asks.

"I can," I say with a smile.

"All right," she smiles, "I'll talk to you tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow," I say before I open the car door for her. I let her get settled in and say "goodnight" before I shut the door. I smile and wave to them as she backs out of the parking space. I let out a breath and get ready to go back to my hotel room. I can't believe I actually asked another woman out on a date willingly instead of being setup and I can't believe she said yes.

 ***A/N: What did you think? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	7. The Date

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

"So I will be over to pick you up ab out 6:00," I say to Madden as we are talking on the phone, something we have been doing a lot lately as in talking about 3 times today alone on the phone.

"All right," she says and I can hear her smile through the phone. "And you're sure Dean and his wife can handle the girls tonight?"

"I'm sure," I say. "Surprisingly enough Dean is really good with kids I think it's because he's really a big child at heart. They will be all right with Dean and Renee I promise."

"Okay," she says. "They are my babies especially Mari I have to make sure that everything is perfect for them."

"And it will be," I promise her. "I just want you to enjoy tonight and enjoy our time together tonight."

"I'm sure I will but I haven't been on a date in a few years probably since Wyatt," she says. "So I am a little nervous about tonight."

"You have nothing to be nervous about," I say, "it's going to be fun."

"Thanks," she says, "so I am going to get off of here and get the girls ready for their babysitter and then I'm going to get ready for tonight. I will see you at 6."

"See you at 6," I smile before I hang up the phone and put my cellphone down on the bed beside me as Seth looks over at me.

"So you're really going on a date with the mother of the child that you donated your bone marrow to?" he asks.

"Yeah, I wasn't going to but I decided to take a chance. It's just a date. It's not like I'm asking her to marry me or anything. It's a chance for us to get to know each other better. I know all about Mari and Gatsby. I want to get to know Madden a little better."

"I'm sure you had plenty of opportunity to talk to Madden today and get to know her better all the times you talked to her on the phone today."

I smile and say, "you should be happy that I am actually happy about taking a woman out on a date. You know I haven't really been into the dating scene for a while. Madden is just different. I don't want to say she reminds me of Kate because she doesn't but there's just something about Madden that I am attracted to."

"I am happy for you I just don't know if this is a good idea given the circumstance. I don't think it's a good idea to go out with the woman who is the mother of the child you donated your bone marrow to. It kind of looks suspicious."

"No, nothing suspicious. Madden is a beautiful woman. VERY beautiful and intelligent and smart. She's an amazing mom. She's just something special." I say.

"Okay, Joe," he says, "I'm just looking out for you. You know that she's probably dealing with a lot with her daughter having cancer and I am sure she is in a financial crisis and may need some money. I just want you to be careful."

"I'm sure she's not after money if that's what you're thinking," I defend Madden.

"I'm just saying, Man. Just be careful."

"All right," I say ending it there. This is the first time in years that I have shown any interest in a woman and wanting to date them since I lost my wife. I don't want to think of Madden in a negative light or think she is only dating me for my bank account instead of because she has genuine feelings for me. I know the feelings are real I have felt them in the way she looks at me, the way she talks to me but then she could also be a con artist and just really good at pretending to care for me. I shake the thoughts out of my mind and start to get ready for my date with Madden.

 **Meanwhile:**

I'm standing in my room looking at three outfit choices to wear on my date with Joe tonight after taking a shower as Gatsby and Mari come into my bedroom as I am standing in my towel with my hair wrapped up drying. "What are you doing?" asks Gatsby.

"Looking at outfits to find one to wear on my date with Joe tonight," I say.

"You're going on a date with Mr. Joe?" she asks with a smile.

"I am," I say with a smile.

"That's great!" she says.

"Yes it is," says Mari with a smile.

"What do you think I should wear?" I ask the girls.

"I like this outfit," points Mari. "I think it's pretty."

"I like it too," says Gatsby. "I think you should wear that one, Mommy."

"You think this one?" I say holding up a black skirt and a coral blouse, "or do you think this one is better?" I ask holding up the outfit they both chose that is a pair of distressed jeans, black lace ¾ sleeve shirt with a black cami attached.

"Definitely that one," points Mari to the black shirt and jeans. "The other outfit is not for a date with Mr. Joe."

"I agree, Mommy," she says. "That looks like you are going to a parent teacher conference as the teacher and that one looks more like you're going to have fun."

"You don't think I am too old to wear this do you?" I ask.

"No," they both shake their heads and say. "You never look old."

"Thank-you," I say with a smile. Being a full-time single mother at the age of 30 certainly does have a way of making me feel older than I am. "I do like this outfit and we are just going out to never mind you two are too young to discuss this with. We are just going out on a date."

"Okay, Mommy, but definitely wear the black shirt," says Gatsby. "You look pretty in black."

"Thank-you," I say with a smile. "How do you think I should do my hair for tonight? Should I put it up or should I let it down?"

"I think you should braid it," says Mari.

"Yes, braid it to the side," says Gatsby.

"All right, make up or no make up?" I ask.

"A LITTLE make up around your eyes," says Gatsby like she's a teenager and understands fashion and make up but she is right about the make up around my eyes. It will definitely make my blue eyes stand out. "You're going to look so pretty Mommy!"

"Thank-you," I smile.

"Do you love Mr. Joe?" asks Mari.

"I don't love anyone but my two favorite girls and your daddy," I say. "I do like Mr. Joe a lot and I just want to see where everything goes if that makes sense."

"Can he come to Hawaii with us?" she asks.

"I don't think so, Baby Girl. I think it's going to just be the three of us that go to Hawaii. Are you excited for Hawaii?"

"I am. I can't wait to meet Moana she is my favorite princess in the whole world!"

"Do Daddy's mommy and daddy live in Hawaii?" asks Gatsby.

"Yes," I say.

"When can we meet them?" asks Mari.

"I don't know if you will ever be able to meet them," I say sadly. "Your daddy had a really big fight with them before we got married and they didn't talk to each other since so the chances of us meeting them are pretty slim."

"We can meet them in Hawaii," says Gatsby.

"If only it were that easy," I say, "look I don't want to lie to either of you your grandparents or your daddy's parents didn't like me very much and were never happy with your dad being with me. They wanted him to marry an Island girl but he married me instead they weren't happy about it. They have never met you in their life and unless a miracle happens they probably never will. I wish that you could have a relationship with them and I have tried. It's just not working out and I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Mommy," says Gatsby. "We have you."

"Yeah," says Mari, "we have you and you're the bestest mommy in the whole world." I smile with tears in my eyes. My entire life has been a sacrifice for them. I have given up so many things for them especially for Amari. My entire two years have been dedicated to my girls. "I love you."

"I love you too, both of you so so much more than words could ever say," I say with a smile.

"More than the stars in the sky?" asks Mari.

"More than the stars in the sky," I say.

"And more than the universe?" asks Gatsby.

"Even more than the universe," I smile, "I love you two but I really need to get ready for my date so I kind of need my privacy."

"Okay, Mommy," they say before they skip out of the room giving me time to myself to get ready to go out with Joe. I can't even deny how nervous I am to be going on my first date since Wyatt. I know I have to move on from Wyatt at some point but my heart will always be his. Just accepting the invitation for this date surprised me it was like I answered before my brain had time to process what was happening and now here I am getting ready for a date.

About 10 minutes before 6 I walk downstairs to see the girls coloring together in the living room. I love that they have such a close bond with each other despite everything. Gatsby turns to look at me as I stand in the living room in the distressed blue jeans, black lace shirt with my hair braided off to the side and knee high leather boots with a heel on them. "You look pretty," she says.

"Very pretty," says Mari with a smile.

"Thank-you," I say, "is my lipstick too dark?" I ask.

"No it's perfect," says Gatsby. "I like that red."

"Me too," I say with a smile as the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it!" yells Mari before she runs to the door to answer it. A few minutes later Joe walks into the living room holding Mari in his arms followed by Dean and his wife.

"Wow," says Joe with a smile as he looks at me. "You look beautiful," he says as the girls giggle.

"Thank-you," I blush. "I like how you look though," I say with a smile as he stands in front of me wearing his hair in a high bun on his head wearing a leather jacket over what I believe is a black t-shirt with a pair of blue jeans and a pair of J's on his feet.

"Thank-you," he says, "so this is Dean and this is his wife Renee," he introduces us.

"Nice to meet you," I say shaking their hands. "Thank-you so much for keeping the girls for me I am a little nervous but Amari has already had her medicine for the day. They don't need to take baths tonight but they do need to be in bed by 8:30 since Gatsby has school tomorrow and Amari has school as well."

"All right," says Renee. "I think we are going to have a lot of fun tonight. Are you girls ready to have fun?"

"Yes!" they say together with a smile on their faces.

"I promise they are in really good hands and you have nothing to worry about. We can check in with you every 30 minutes if that makes you feel better."

"That's all right," I say with a smile. "I'll call to check in before bedtime if we aren't back by then."

"We won't be back before then," says Joe with a smile.

"All right, I will check in around 8:30. Thank-you so much for doing this I really appreciate it."

"I hope you two have a good time tonight," says Renee with a smile.

"I hope so too," I say looking up at Joe. "All right, girls we're going to go. I will be back later. I love you."

"Love you, Mommy," they say together. I give Amari a kiss on the cheek before Joe puts her down on the ground and then give Gatsby a kiss on the cheek before I grab my jacket from the hook. I thank Renee and Dean once again before Joe and I walk out of the house. Joe takes my hand as we walk to his rental car before he opens the passenger door for me closing it once I get settled in. He rounds to the driver's seat and opens the door and climbs into the black SUV.

After a nice ride in his SUV of us making small talk we end up in the city of Philadelphia to get a really good cheesesteak. You can't come to Philly and not hit up Sonny's Famous Steaks for a really good cheesesteak. He parks the car and we get out to walk into the restaurant that's busy as usual but it's always worth the wait. "All this for a cheesesteak?" he asks.

"They are the best in the area," I say with a smile. "It's always worth the wait."

"I hope so," he says with a smile. "So I'm glad we could actually get out tonight. I don't know too much about you but I know a lot about Gatsby and Amari. I want to get to know you better."

"I'm an open book," I smile. "So have you enjoyed Philly?"

"I haven't had much time to really do anything between meeting y'all and then working RAW I didn't get much time to do anything."

"I wish we could have taken you out to see some things while you were here it's just with Mari and her immune system I try to limit going into crowds. There's so much to see here it's not just the cheesesteaks although that's something you can't pass up while visiting the city of brotherly love."

"Philly doesn't love me very much," he says, "I won a Royal Rumble in this city before and I got booed out of the arena then they decided to stop the superstars from leaving the arena because they were upset."

"Well, Philly fans are really passionate when it comes to sports. Have you ever been here after the Eagles won the playoffs and the Super Bowl? They went nuts they pretty much destroy their own city and climb light posts they even tip over cars. If they lose it's just the same. Philly fans can't handle their sports appropriately."

"Ah, that makes sense," he says with a smile. "Do you like living here in Philly?"

"I don't like living in the city itself which is why I live outside the city. I like the city just not living in it the traffic is horrendous as you can see."

"I noticed," he says, "so what kind of Cheesesteak do you recommend?"

"I usually get a regular cheesesteak with onions, peppers and cheese whiz never get provolone or American cheese it's not the same. You have to get the cheese whiz. It's a hot greasy mess of goodness."

"Sounds delicious," he says.

"Seriously it's greasy but amazing it's like a heart attack but SO worth it."

"All right," he smiles as we finally get up to the counter to order. I order for both of us because I know what to say and how they go about the orders. I order us each a cheesesteak with the onions, cheese whiz and peppers along with a soda for each of us. We move off to the side as Joe pays for our dinner and they prepare our sandwiches. They hand us our sandwiches and we search for a table before we finally find one off in the corner.

We make our way over to the table and Joe pulls my chair out for me before taking his own seat. We open our sandwiches and take our first bite together. "Yeah this is some greasy goodness," he says with a smile. "Amazing."

"I told you that you would like it," I say. "So what's it like being a WWE superstar?"

"It's a hectic life but I love it. WWE wasn't always in the plan for me. I went to college for business but I also played football but that didn't work out for me. I got sick with leukemia just after graduating from college so I had to take some time off from the field even though I didn't do too well in the draft but I needed to focus on my health and get myself healthy again. I thought I wanted to go back to football but I chose to follow my father's and brother's path to be a wrestler. I got into training and ended up getting into WWE's developmental league. I never thought I would love it so much it's a lot of time out on the road and away from home but I also get to see the world. I mean I am kind of a private guy but it's hard to have a private life when you're on TV every week."

"I am sure how do you deal with the fame?"

"I never really turn down autographs and pictures unless I am eating but I do keep to myself and not give the public too much information about me. I feel bad for my family because a lot of people think they can friend my family to get to me but you know they just want a private life."

"I bet that's hard," I say, "but you like it, you like what you do?"

"I love what I do even with the chaos that comes along with it. I made some of my best friends being in WWE. Dean and Seth are my two best friends we travel together and Seth and I usually room together unless his girlfriend is on the road with us and of course Dean and Renee room together."

"Dean and Renee are they good with kids?" I ask.

"Yes they are amazing with kids I secretly think they both want to have a baby but they will never admit it but it's a hectic lifestyle when one person is on the road all the time but when both are out on the road at a time I think it's even more hectic. I think once they settle down they may have a baby but like I said they will never admit it. Gatsby and Amari are in good hands."

"That's good to know. I don't like to leave them with strangers." I say.

"I understand that but Dean and Renee are good people, so why Gatsby why did you name her Gatsby?" he asks.

I smile and say, "you ever hear of The Great Gatsby?"

"Yeah," he says eating his sandwich.

"Well, Wyatt and I really love that book because of the message it sends so we knew our first child was going to be named Gatsby it's a little odd when a girl is named Gatsby but it fits her so well and I love it."

"I think it's a pretty cool name and what about Amari?" he asks.

"We just really liked the name Amari but it also means Miracle of God and if anything she is truly our miracle she's come so far in the last few months and she's hopefully in remission for a long time but we just loved her name not because of meaning or anything."

"I think it is a beautiful name," he says, "so tell me a little bit about you. I want to know did you go to college or what?" he asks.

"I did go to college. I went to college with Wyatt that's how I met him. I actually went for nursing. I was a pediatric nurse until Amari got sick. I resigned so that I could give her as much of my time as I could to be with her through the treatments, be home with her. I hope to go back to nursing in the near future but it all depends on how well she does and if she stays in remission. Dr. Anderson worries about the fact that her own cells are attacking the new ones. I hope they aren't now but it's a possibility."

"I understand that so you liked nursing?" he asks.

"I love it. It was the best job in the world. I liked working with the babies and kids. I want to go back."

"I'm sure you were an amazing nurse," he smiles. "So what do you do for fun, what kind of things do you like, are you from Philadelphia?"

"Whoa, that was a lot of questions but yes I am from Philadelphia. I went to college in Texas where I met Wyatt then we were stationed in Arizona and then Philadelphia which was great for me to be around my family. I don't know what I do for fun I haven't had much fun in the last couple years. I used to like going out to hang out with my friends. I like to watch movies but that's about it. I like to read too. I enjoy cooking. What about you? Where are you from and what do you like to do for fun and what kind of things do you like?" I ask.

"I know just trying to get to know you better," he says. "As for me I am from Pensacola, Florida but I live in Tampa with my cousin Nia. I don't really have much time to have fun but I do like going out for fun just taking an adventure somewhere but most of my fun is done at home. I like to read too and watch movies. What's your favorite type of movie genre, mine is horror."

"I like romantic comedies and comedy movies I also like action movies," I say. "So you live in Tampa, you never get to enjoy the cold winters."

"Not at all the coldest it gets is maybe 50 degrees for a high but that lasts about a week in January each year," he says.

"50 degrees is NOTHING compared to the negative temps we get up here that's cold."

"I bet I am not a winter person," he says with a smile. "So I am not into this whole dating thing and haven't been on a date that I really wanted until I asked you out. What are you really looking for?"

"Bold," I smile, "I am looking to have some fun and just see where things go from here. I haven't been on a date since Wyatt. I just haven't been ready to date."

"I get that," he says. "I understand that. So tell me is there anything else you want to do tonight the night is young and I know we don't just want to sit and eat cheesesteaks all night. Want to take me sightseeing?" he asks.

"I can show you Love Park," I say, "but mostly everything is closed now we could go see a movie."

"That sounds like a good plan, what's Love Park?" he asks.

"Love Park is just a park that has a Love sign it's nothing really special but it's something to visit."

"I vote for a movie after this or we could go to mini golf or something what do you want to do. I don't care as long as I get to do it with you."

"You play pool?" I ask. "We can go to the pool hall."

"I am pretty good at pool I'm down for that," he smiles.

"All right but I am pretty good at pool so don't expect to get any victories," I say.

"We'll see about that," he smiles as we finish up.

"You doubting me?" I ask.

"Never," he says, "it's just I am pretty good at pool."

"Yeah but I'm sure I am the best," I say with a smile.

"Like I said we'll find out."

"You're on, want to make a bet?" I ask.

"Oh so you're a gambler?" he asks with a smile. "I never would have guessed."

"Maybe," I say with a smile, "so you want to make a bet?"

"Yeah, what's the bet? How about if I win you go out on another date with me."

"Who said I wasn't already thinking about another date with you?" I ask.

"Well, if I win then it's official."

"And even if you don't win it's official but if I win I get to choose the next date and if you win maybe you get a good night kiss," I wager.

"Hmm, what makes you think I wasn't thinking about kissing you already?"

"Hmm, how do you know I was going to allow you to kiss me?" I smile.

"I don't know," he says, "so you ready to go play a game of pool?"

"Yeah," I say.

"Okay, let's go and I have to say those were some good cheesesteaks," he says.

"I told you the best in Philly," I say throwing our things away.

"Yeah I have to agree with that," he says as we walk out the door.

I direct him to the pool hall and we play two games of pool one where I won and one where he won so naturally we had to play a third game to see who won and that's when I saw a new side to Joe, not that I am complaining. He had his game face on and he was trying to distract me every way that he could. He placed his arms around my waist at one point as I tried to take a turn of course I scratched from the radiating heat of his body, the sexual attraction between us. I did my best to distract him and it worked as I wrapped my arms around his waist. He lost all sense of the game and it was over when he wraps me up in his arms, backing me against the wall of the pool hall. I place my hands on his shoulders and look up into his dark brown eyes. He gives me a soft smile before he leans down kissing my lips softly. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back, he moans into my kiss as I rub the back of his neck softly as he kisses me deep, one arm wrapped around my waist and the other hand flat against my stomach as we share our deep kiss. No one has ever kissed me like this but Wyatt, no one has ignited the fire in me except for Wyatt. Breathless we break the kiss looking at each other for a couple seconds before our lips meet again for another soft kiss. "You should come back to my hotel room," he says breathlessly.

"Joe," I say, "I can't, not tonight."

"Madden," he breathes, "please tonight."

"What the hell," I say. "Let me call Dean and let him know we're going to be out a little later than expected."

"All right," he says with a smile. He hands me his phone to call Dean to let him know that I won't be home until a little later. I talk to the girls and tell them goodnight before I thank Dean again before hanging up the phone.

I hand his phone back to him and say, "So let's go."

 ***A/N: What did you think of their date? What do you think ignited the fire between them that she's considering going back to the hotel with him? Do you think they are going to go through with it or do you think they are going to get cold feet? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	8. Time to Find Happiness

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated thank-you all so much***

We left the pool hall together with the intention of going to Joe's hotel room. I'm not usually the type of woman to sleep with a man on a first date but it has been a couple years, nearly 3 years since I have been intimate with a man and the passion, desire between Joe and I is hard to ignore. I don't know if it's the best choice but it's a choice I'm making tonight to sleep with a man for the first time since Wyatt. Joe drives us back to his hotel room, the sexual tension building between us as he massages my thigh softly on the way to his hotel. Ironically Marvin Gaye "Sexual Healing" plays as we drive the crowded streets of Philadelphia. I am right there with Marvin I can't hold back much longer the desire is getting stronger and stronger. I need that sexual healing. Joe pulls up in front of the hotel and puts the car in park. We get out of the car allowing the valet to take the car to park it. Joe takes me by the hand and leads me into the hotel. We hurry to the elevator and the wait for it to hit the lobby feels like an eternity, the need for sex radiating off of both of us as the doors finally open. We nearly take a couple out as they step off the elevator as we step on. Joe hits the number to his floor just before the elevator doors go shut, neither of us can control it anymore before we are all over each other in the elevator, his lips on mine, kissing me deep and passionate with a need and a desire as I kiss him back with the same passion and desire, his hands wandering my body as he holds me close, the feel of his powerful frame against mine makes me weak.

The doors open to the elevator causing us to break our kiss and we hurry off the elevator, down the hall to his hotel room. He fumbles for his key and opens the door allowing me to go in first as he follows in behind me shutting the door. He throws the key on the table by the door before removing his shirt quickly exposing his broad chest, large arms and amazing torso. Powerful isn't even the word to describe him, he's hot and sexy, the epitome of a God. I run my hands over his chest before his lips are on mine again, he lifts me from the floor and I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me to his bed. He lays me down gently and covers my body with his, his lips finding my neck, laying soft kisses on my neck and down to my collarbone. "You are so beautiful," he says to me between his kisses. "I want you so much."

"I want you too," I say as I sit up to take off my shirt before tossing it to the floor, his lips find my breasts kissing the top of them softly and massaging, kneading at them with his large hands. I moan out in pleasure as this is the first time a man has touched me like this in years. I almost forgot what sexual desire felt like. It's been so long since I felt this type of attraction toward a man. "Roman," I say as his lips trail soft kisses over my stomach. He reaches the top of my jeans and unbuttons them quickly, I help him pull them down before he pulls them off, my black lace underwear exposed as he lays soft kisses on my inner thighs, he kisses my sex through the lace of my underwear. He pulls them aside, I cry out as I feel his lips on my sex as he kisses it softly. "Roman," I say again as he slides my underwear down, removing them from my body. He spreads my legs softly and I feel his fingers slide into me softly making me moan, he skillfully moves them as his tongue flicks over my clit, licking it softly and sucking on it as he makes love to me with his fingers. "Oh God," I cry out as he works. It's got to be a crime for a man to be this good at oral sex, his fingers are replaced by his tongue and I can't take it, I arch my back wanting more, not stopping him like I should but it feels too good to make him stop. "Don't stop," I say as he makes love to me with his tongue, the passion tearing through me, the endless pleasure ripping through my body. I can't hold back anymore as I fall apart, crying out in pleasure as I hit my climax.

I watch as Joe stands up from the bed, he unbuttons his jeans pulling them down exposing his black boxer briefs, his erection full and hard, fighting to be free. He pulls his briefs down freeing his erection and the man is blessed. "Madden, are you sure you want to do this?" he asks.

"I'm sure," I say, "it's been so long."

"I'll be gentle," he says as he makes his way back to the bed. He places himself between my legs as he covers my body, teasing me, stroking me with his erection before he lowers himself into me, taking his time as he fills me. I wrap my arm around his neck as he begins to move soft and slow, taking his time with every movement, keeping his promise of being gentle. His soft moans of pleasure in my ear, "it's been so long," he says.

"Same here," I say as I moan in pleasure from his soft movements. "Ah, Joe," I cry out. I move with him as he slides deeper inside of me, taking more of him. I dig my nails into his back as the passion overtakes me and I fall apart beneath him. "JOE!" I scream out as I hit my second climax as he keeps moving.

I feel him getting close to hitting his own climax as he grows thicker and fuller inside of me, he keeps moving as his breaths become deeper, his body quakes as he comes apart, "MADDEN!" he cries out as he releases himself inside of me. His lips find mine as he kisses me deep as he rides out his climax, filling me with his seed. "That was amazing," he says as he removes himself from me, laying down next to me, pulling me into his arms.

"It was," I say with a soft smile. "SO amazing," I smile before he kisses my lips softly. "I should probably get home."

"I just want to lay with you for a little bit," he says stroking my arm softly. "Enjoy a little more time with you before I take you home."

"I'm okay with that," I smile. "So how long has it been for you?"

"Probably since my wife was alive, I have not felt that strong of sexual desire since I lost her," he says, "what about you?"

"You were my first date since Wyatt so I haven't had sex since before Wyatt went overseas," I say. "So about 3 years total."

"That's a really long time."

"I know but that was great," I say.

"It really was," he says, "but I probably should have used a condom, are you on birth control or anything?"

"It's been 3 years, Joe," I say, "and I was married there was no need for birth control. We should have used a condom but we'll be all right."

"Okay," he says.

We laid in his bed for a while, cuddling, caressing each other and kissing each other before we finally got out of bed around 10. We cleaned up in the bathroom and got dressed before he took me back home. We shared a soft kiss before he opened his hotel room door, we waited in the cold for them to bring the car around and he helped me into the car before he took the driver's seat. I held his hand the whole way back to my house as we listened to the radio and made small talk. Things felt different in a good way between us as we walk to the front door of my house. "I had a really good time tonight," I say.

"Me too and I want to do it all again," he smiles.

"Me too," I say with a smile. "How long are you going to be out on the road?"

"I am going back to Florida tomorrow and then I am back on the road Friday afternoon," he says, "but I will find some time to take you out again. When do you go to Hawaii?"

"We leave this weekend," I say.

He nods, "I see how long will you be gone?"

"Just a week," I answer him. "Mari is very excited about going so is Gatsby but I'm not too excited. I keep having this fear I am going to run into Wyatt's family and that wouldn't be a good situation."

"Why, wouldn't they be excited to see the girls?" he asks.

"Maybe if they even knew them," I say, "the fact is they didn't like me married to Wyatt and they didn't care for the girls. I don't want to run into them."

"It's their loss," he says tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "Gatsby and Mari are both great girls."

"I know," I say with a smile. "But other than that I am looking forward to that trip."

"Hawaii is fun," he says. "I've been there a couple times not the Disney resort but I have been there."

"I have too it's one of my favorite places to go."

"Mine too," he smiles, "maybe someday you and I can take a trip of our own to Hawaii."

"That sounds like fun," I smile. "Well, I should probably get inside and relieve Dean and Renee."

"Madden," he says, "I just want to tell you that I don't usually sleep with women on the first date. That's not usually me and I don't know why it happened tonight and I am sorry if you felt pressured."

I smile at him and place my hand on his shoulder, "Joe, I don't either but you know that neither of us could deny that passion between us. It's fine and I am glad it happened tonight and there was no pressure."

"That's good to know. Well, I guess this is goodnight."

"Yeah," I say softly. "Thank-you for tonight."

"Thank-you," he says with a smile before he leans down and kisses my lips softly. "Goodnight and I am going to call you."

"I didn't expect you not to," I smile. "Goodnight," I say before we share one last kiss before I walk into my house. "I'm home!" I say as I find Dean and Renee sitting in the living room watching TV with the girls not in sight hopefully they are in bed. "How did it go tonight?"

"They are such angels," says Renee with a smile. "They were really fun."

"Thank-you so much," I smile.

"You're welcome," she says with a smile.

"How was your night?" winks Dean.

"It was a great night," I say with a smile.

"Uh huh," he says, "Joe really likes you. He likes you a lot."

"I really like him a lot," I smile.

"I can tell," he smiles, "well, we are going to head back to the hotel. We will babysit for you anytime."

"That sounds great, thank-you," I say as I walk them to the door. I open the door for them and shut and lock the door behind them before I go upstairs to check on the girls. I walk into their room to see Mari sleeping peacefully in her bed. I lean down and kiss her forehead before I cover her up more with a blanket. "Goodnight, Mari," I say with a smile before I walk over to Gatsby. I cover her up and kiss her forehead. "Goodnight, Gatsby. I love both of you so much."

"I love you, Mom," she says making me smile. "Did you have fun?"

"Yes, I had a lot of fun," I smile thinking of my night with Joe. It was amazing even before going to his hotel room.

"I'm glad, you deserve to have fun too, Mom," she says making me smile.

"I know," I say with a smile. "You have school in the morning, you should be sleeping."

"I was. Daddy would want you to be happy too, just like Mari and I want you to be happy," she says making me smile as if she was reading my mind.

"I know he would," I say with a smile. "We will talk about it tomorrow."

"Okay," she says. "Goodnight, Mom."

"Goodnight, Gatsby. I love you," I say before I kiss her goodnight.

"Love you too," she says as I make my way out of the room and make my way to my bedroom. I pull my cell phone out and smile as I see a text from Joe.

 _I can't stop thinking about you. I miss you already._

I smile and respond back, _I miss you too. I had a really good time tonight._

 _Me too. We have to do it again soon._

 _I am in full agreement; VERY soon._

 _Yes VERY soon. I will let you get some rest. I will call you later. Goodnight, Madden._

 _Goodnight, Joe. Sweet dreams._

I put the phone down on the nightstand and sit down on my bed. I pick up the picture of Wyatt sitting near my bed. "Well, Wy, I had my first date in years. It felt different without you but I really like this guy. I think he's pretty amazing so I don't know where this is going to go but hopefully it goes in a good direction. He is already crazy about the girls which matters most to me. I think you would like him but my heart will always belong to you, you'll always be my first love. No one could ever replace you. I love you so much, Wyatt but I think I am finally ready to find my happiness. Find a little bit of love and happiness in my life it won't be the same without you but I'm ready to finally be happy. I just miss you so much and that will never change and I will always love you, that will also never change but I'm ready to finally be happy again I know that's what you want to see and what you wish to see so it's time to finally be happy again. Our baby girl is doing so great and recovering, hopefully she stays on this road of recovery so everything can get back to normal around here. I love you, Wyatt. I miss you," I say with a soft smile as I put the picture back on the nightstand.

 ***A/N: What did you think? Are you surprised they went through with it? What do you think will happen now between Joe and Madden? How do you think the trip to Hawaii will go? What did you think of Madden realizing it's time for her to finally be happy since Wyatt passed away and everything that happened with Amari? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	9. Hawaii

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated thank-you all so much***

Arriving in Hawaii brought back so many good memories of Wyatt and me. I remember my first time in Hawaii the people of the island were so welcoming, meeting us at the airport with leis and welcoming us to their island. This was no different as soon as we arrived at the airport we were greeted by people of the beautiful island and given leis as they said "Aloha" to us which means more than a simple hello and a simple goodbye it means so much more, the people of the island are welcoming us with love, peace and compassion. Amari, Gatsby and I were escorted to the Aulani resort from the airport. It was the most beautiful resort I have been too and very kid friendly. Amari never stopped smiling even though she hasn't been feeling the greatest she's been pushing through to enjoy her wish being granted but in her words she LOVES Hawaii it is the best place on Earth as far as she is concerned and when she's an adult she is going to move to Hawaii to live.

The first few days were filled with a lot of fun enjoying time by the pool, traveling across the Menehune Bridge which is a splash pad for children Gatsby and Mari enjoyed a long day running through the water. Another day was spent at the beach soaking up the sun, enjoying the cool breeze of the Pacific Ocean, enjoying some time in the beautiful blue water of the Pacific splashing each other, jumping the waves and then enjoying a dance party at the pool with Mickey and his friends. Nights were spent enjoying a luau which brought back so many memories with Wyatt in Hawaii. There is nothing better than a luau on the island and enjoying the foods of the island while people perform dances from the cultures of the islands in and around Hawaii and we enjoyed a night exploring the stars together learning how the Hawaiians used the stars to guide them navigate to the Polynesian Islands with just the stars in the sky. Amari found this to be the coolest part of the trip so far and I have to agree with her. I am just happy to see the girls get educated in their culture because without Wyatt's family involved they don't really have anyone to teach them about their Hawaiian culture and I hate that for them. We have even enjoyed watching Disney movies at night on the lawn of the resort enjoying Moana, Lilo and Stitch and Mulan. It was a brand new experience that I am glad that Amari got to enjoy. I feel like in the last few months of her life she dealt with a lot of adult things, dealt with fighting against a disease that could have taken her life and she won but still in remission with the fear this deadly disease could return at any time it's great to see her actually be a kid again, enjoy herself and never stop smiling.

Today was the day Amari has been waiting for since we arrived on the island and the resort, it is the day that her wish to meet Moana will be granted. It is all she has been talking about this morning even though she woke up feeling a little under the weather which makes me nervous because last time this happened her body was attacking its own new cells which I hope isn't the case for her and she's just jet lagged from traveling. "How are you feeling today, Mari?" I ask her as we walk into the spa where she is going to get a princess makeover before she meets Moana.

"Excited!" she says with a smile. "I can't wait to meet Moana she is my favorite princess ever!"

"I know, I am excited for you," I say with a smile. "It's the day you've been waiting for."

"Yeah," she says as a woman working in the spa comes over to us and I immediately recognize her to be Wyatt's younger sister Malia. Hopefully she doesn't recognize me because I am not ready for my girls to have a family reunion with the family that doesn't care about them.

"Aloha," she says.

"Aloha," says Mari.

"Aloha," I say with a smile.

"Aloha," says Gatsby.

"Welcome to the Painted Sky Spa, you must be Amari," she says with a welcoming smile.

"I am," says Mari.

"It's so nice to meet you," she says, "I am Malia. And what's your name?"

"My name is Gatsby," she says.

"Madden," she says.

"Malia," I say.

"The girls have gotten so big, how old are they now?" she asks.

"I'm 6," says Mari.

"And I am 8," says Gatsby.

"They look so much like Wyatt," she says, "they are beautiful. I heard about Amari's condition. How is she doing?" she asks, "and she's here to have her wish granted."

"Yes but not a family reunion," I say, "we're here for her to get the makeover that she requested nothing else."

"She is my niece, I have the right to know how she's doing," she says.

"Is there anyone else that can do their makeovers, I'm not comfortable with you talking to my girls or you doing their makeover. I'm not comfortable with you period."

"Madden, it doesn't have to be like this," she says. "We are family, well they are family you're just the poor girl my brother knocked up."

"Okay we can be done here," I say.

"Mommy," says Mari, "who is she?"

"Just someone I used to know and someone your dad used to know," I say. "And Malia, I am not having this conversation in front of my daughters, we are here for their makeover if you wish to speak to me about my daughters in private I can arrange that time for you," I say, "but we aren't doing this now and we aren't doing it here, not in front of them."

"Fine," she says, "tonight we can talk, just you and me no kids my parents want to be involved too. You kept them away from us long enough."

"Tonight Malia, we aren't doing this now."

"Mommy," says Mari, "why are you mad?"

"I'm not mad I am just agitated," I say looking at Malia.

"So you are mad," says Gatsby, "that's just another word for being mad."

"Actually annoyed," I say, "but Malia here is going to do your makeovers and then you two are going to meet Moana. I'm not upset I promise I just want to see my babies shine."

"Okay, Mommy," says Amari with a smile.

"Come with me girls, let's pick out the package you want," says Malia with a fake smile as she takes my girls to choose their package for their makeover while I take a seat to wait for them to be finished.

My biggest fear was running into Wyatt's family and this is not the way I wanted to do it. I didn't want to be faced with the drama of the past few years. Malia made it seem like I was the bad person keeping my kids away from their Hawaiian family but in turn it was actually their family not wanting anything to do with my girls because they were unhappy with the fact Wyatt married a non-island girl, just a poor girl from Pennsylvania. I was never who they wanted me to be and it killed them that Wyatt and I fell in love the way that we did. I made attempts over the years to keep them involved in the girls' lives, I came to them when Mari needed a donor but they refused every attempt I made and refused to be tested to be a donor for my daughter, their blood, their Ohana. It breaks my heart and now tonight I have to face the people I have so much disrespect for and hatred toward for turning their backs on our kids.

About an hour later Gatsby and Amari come to me both dressed like Moana Gatsby wears a flower in her hair while Amari has a headband with a flower on it because it is too short for a clip. They both wear pink leis around their neck with a necklace like Moana with make up on their faces. "How do I look, Mommy?" asks Amari smiling from ear to ear.

"You look beautiful," I say with tears in my eyes seeing her so happy. "You look just like Moana. And Gatsby, you are like Moana's twin," I say with a smile, "you both look beautiful."

"Thank-you," they say together as they twirl around in their Moana dresses.

"You're welcome ," I say with a smile. "Thank-you, Malia."

"You're welcome," she says, "I hope you girls enjoy meeting Moana."

"I wanted to meet Moana ALL my life," exaggerates Amari.

"Well, Moana is a pretty awesome person," says Malia with a smile. "She's the sweetest, what all have you done while you were here?" she asks.

"We watched movies on the lawn in the dark, we went to the beach and we got to go snorkeling to see all the colorful fish in the sea," says Mari, "and tomorrow we get to go on a scavenger hunt for the Menehunes."

"Do you know what the Menehune people are?" asks Malia.

"No," says Gatsby.

"What are they?" asks Mari.

"The Menehune people are a group of mischievous small people that live in the dark forests of Hawaii. They have been known to play tricks on people and they have never been seen by the human eye but they are great craftsmen and they love magical arrows they have shot a magical arrow into the hearts of angry people to generate feelings of love instead. They are very tricky to spot and find. They came to Hawaii from Polynesia before the settlers arrived and inhabited the land. You're going to enjoy your scavenger hunt. I hope you can find some."

"Me too," says Amari.

"That would be really cool," says Gatsby. "We also went to a luau and watched these really cool shows."

"Maybe some time I can tell you the history of your people," says Malia.

"That would be really cool," says Gatsby.

"Yeah," agrees Amari. "Our daddy was from Hawaii but he died in a war."

"I know," says Malia, "I loved your daddy very much."

"You knew him?" asks Amari.

"All his life," she says with a smile, "and you both look so much like he did when he was a little boy."

"My mommy says we look like our daddy all the time," says Gatsby. "I miss him a lot."

"Me too," she says as I roll my eyes.

"Well, Gatsby and Amari it's time to get going it's time for Amari to get her wish granted. Thank-you, Malia," I say with a smile, "we will talk later tonight."

"Yes we will," she says before telling me where we can meet. I nod and walk out of the spa with my daughters biting my tongue. Their makeovers were paid for by the wish foundation so I didn't need to worry about paying and I am grateful to get out of there without having to talk to Malia any longer.

The Wish Foundation made a private area for the girls to meet Moana away from the public so that they could get their time in with Moana without it being interrupted and also because I am trying to keep Mari away from big crowds to prevent her from getting too sick with her already weakened immune system. "Hello, Amari, are you enjoying your trip?" asks the woman in charge.

"I am having the BEST time of my life," she says with a smile.

"I am so glad to hear it. You look like a little Moana, I love your dress," she says.

"Thank-you," she says.

"What has been your favorite part of the trip so far?"

"Um my makeover and getting make up on and dancing with Mickey and his friends," she says. "I love to dance."

"Maybe Moana can help you learn to dance, we'll have to see," she says.

"That would be SO cool," says Mari with a grateful smile.

"Are you ready to meet Moana?" she asks.

"YES!" she squeals.

"All right, follow me," she says as she leads us into the private area for her to meet her favorite princess. We walk behind her and she walks us into the room. "Moana, I have a very special friend that would like to meet you," she says.

"Amari," says Moana with a smile on her face holding her arms out to which Amari runs into her arms to hug her.

"Moana, you are my favorite princess ever, you are the best!" she says as tears fill my eyes watching my 6 year old's dream come true. "And this is my sister Gatsby. She loves you too. I love you!"

"I love you too," says Moana with a smile. "Hello, Gatsby," she says with a smile before she hugs her back. "I heard you're a little warrior like me," she says to Amari.

"I am a warrior JUST like you," she says with a smile.

"That's so wonderful!"

"Thank-you," says Amari.

"Moana, Amari likes to dance I was wondering if you could show her some hula moves."

"You want to learn to hula?" asks Moana, "or learn some Polynesian dance moves."

"To Hula," says Amari with a smile.

"All right, I love to teach little kids how to hula. I'll show you and I want you to do what I do."

"Can my mom learn too?" asks Amari.

"Of course," she says with a smile. I join in as Moana begins to teach us how to Hula. I smile hearing Amari's giggles and laughter. It is by far the happiest she has been the whole trip and she's not bad at doing the hula but me on the other hand I am not that great at it. Once we are done doing the hula we get our pictures taken with Moana before she presents the girls with gift baskets with a Moana t-shirt, Moana sunglasses, Pua stuffed animal and a beach towel.

"Thank-you," says Amari.

"You're welcome, Koa," she says with a smile.

"Koa? My name isn't Koa," says Amari with confusion.

Moana laughs and says, "No, koa is warrior in Hawaii, I was calling you my little koa or my little warrior."

"Oh," she says with a smile.

"Keep fighting little koa," says Moana with a smile.

"I will," says Amari with a smile before she gives her one last hug.

Later that night I am putting the girls to bed before I meet with Wyatt's family thankful I found someone to stay with the girls so I can try to repair whatever I can of my relationship with his family. "Mommy," says Amari as I am tucking her in.

"Yes?"

"Am I going to be sick all my life?" she asks.

"No, Baby Girl you're not going to be sick your whole life. You're in remission right now which means your body has fought off the infection inside of you it's possible that your cancer could come back but hopefully God keeps you healthy. It's just a matter of getting you back to being healthy and 100% again."

"Will I die?" she asks.

"No," I say with tears in my eyes. "You're not going to die."

"Promise me," she says.

"Promise," I say with tears in my eyes. I don't know how I can promise that to my 6 year old or how my 6 year old knows death at such a young age. I just pray God keeps her healthy and the cancer stays in remission. "You're going to grow up to be a happy and beautiful woman to do whatever you want to do in your life. You're going to be happy and healthy."

"I want to be a doctor when I grow up," she says, "so I can help sick kids like me."

"That sounds like an amazing plan," I say with a smile.

"I want to be just like Dr. Anderson he is the best!"

"He truly is," I say grateful for the doctor that saved my baby's life. "I love you, Amari and I don't want you to have to worry about anything except being a kid and being happy and having fun."

"Okay," she says. "Can I go to school yet?"

"Not yet but hopefully next fall you can go to school with Gatsby and you can go back to dance class but right now we just can't put you in school."

"Oh," she says sadly. "I want to play with other kids."

"I know, Baby Girl but we are getting there I promise."

"I love you, Mommy and today was the best day of my life," she says making me smile.

"Mine too," I say with tears in my eyes, "but you're only 6 you're going to have a lot more best days coming your way. Now it's time to go to sleep so that you can be wide awake for our Menehune hunt tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Mommy."

"Goodnight," I say before I kiss her forehead. I walk out of the room and stand in the doorway watching her drift off to sleep. "Wyatt, please keep our baby girl safe and healthy. I can't do it again, she can't do it again," I say with tears in my eyes before I go to meet his family.

Going against my better judgment I met with Wyatt's sister Malia, his father Toa and his mother Talisua at the location Malia and I agreed upon. I nervously walk to the table where I see Malia, my heart racing in my chest so bad I can hear it and my hands shaking as I reach the table. "Hello," I say.

"Madden," says Talisua.

"Madden," says Malia.

"Hello, Malia and Talisua, hello Toa," I say before taking a seat needing some type of drink to get through this meeting. "What's the occasion of this meeting?"

"It's simple," says Talisua, "you came to Hawaii with our granddaughters, Wyatt's children and didn't tell us."

"Excuse me for not including you in our trip to Hawaii, I was hoping Amari would have chosen somewhere other than Hawaii because I didn't want to run into you after all these years."

"Amari is my granddaughter and Gatsby is my granddaughter too. You can't hide them from their family forever."

"Me hide them?" I ask. "I have never hidden them from you since they were born. Wyatt and I tried to keep you in our lives and the girls' lives but it was you that wanted no part in it."

"Because Wyatt could have done a lot better than you," she says honestly.

"Yes, I have heard this before, you told me every chance you could get. I'm glad you can still tell me even after Wyatt is dead."

"Madden, don't act like we are the bad people you brainwashed our son out of our lives."

"Yes you did," says Malia.

"Are you delusional? You were NEVER happy about mine and Wyatt's relationship. You always thought he could do better than me and you wanted no part of that. And don't say that we have kept our kids from you either because we didn't. You wanted nothing to do with Gatsby or Amari not ONE day in their lives. They ask about Wyatt's family all the time and I have to make up some story or just ignore their questions it's better than telling my 6 and 8 year old that their dad's family wants nothing to do with them."

"Madden, that's not true," says Malia. "It has been you keeping them away from us."

"Keep telling yourselves that. What about when I came to you because Amari needed a donor to save her life but none of you wanted to get tested and said she wasn't your family? What happened to that?" I ask trying not to get upset.

"We were wrong and if she still needs a donor then we will gladly get tested to see if we are a match," says Malia.

"Yes," says Talisua.

"You are unbelievable, it's too late now. She already got her transplant and she's doing okay not that I owe any of you any explanation or information on her but a wonderful man was her donor and he is wonderful with her and they share an amazing bond together."

"I'm sorry we waited too late," says Talisua, "but those two girls are our family and they deserve to know their culture."

"They know their culture," I say, "and they have been doing great without you in their lives."

"You can't keep them from us forever," says Malia, "there are laws."

"Right," I say, "laws, so you find a lawyer to try to get whatever familial rights you think you deserve and I will find a lawyer that will make sure you don't get those familial rights you think you deserve because you turned your back on Wyatt and me when we dated, when we got pregnant and when we got married. You never wanted anything to do with the girls and if you think I haven't saved every text, every email and every attempt I made to reach out to you to be a part of their lives to see no response or a response saying that it would be better if you weren't part of their lives because of who their mother is. If you want to go that route I am fine going that route too."

"Wait," says Talisua, "you can't keep them away from us forever."

"I haven't been it's been you," I say, "and you threatening me isn't going to make me decide that you need to see them and be part of their lives after you have denied every attempt I have made."

"Okay, so threatening you isn't the way to go," says Malia, "but we want to see the girls, give us a chance to know them and a chance to know us. How long are you in Hawaii for?"

"A few more days," I say.

"Can we meet them?" asks Talisua, "let them meet our family, let us get to know them."

"No, not now not at this time. Amari has already been through so much and this trip isn't for family reunions this trip is to keep my daughter happy and not confused to keep her happy to have her wish granted so no not at this time or on this trip."

"Then when?" asks Talisua.

"We'll do this slow, you can send them letters to start, then we can move to face time and then we can work our way to meeting face to face. I don't want to keep you out of their lives, I never have. I have wanted NOTHING more than for them to have a relationship with Wyatt's family. You are the only ones that can tell them things about Wyatt that I can't and the last two years without him have been difficult and then Mari got sick," I say with tears in my eyes. "And now she's in remission with the fear she could die and the fear her cancer is going to come back. It's been a tough couple years and I have faced it all without Wyatt and every day my heart breaks knowing how much he's missed, how much the girls knew very little about the man their father was. I want them to have that relationship with you and I know I am not your favorite person but I love Wyatt and I will always love Wyatt. I just want them to know his family, to know you and where they come from."

"Madden," says Talisua, "I am so sorry. I know these last two years haven't been easy for you and I know you probably struggled while Amari was sick. I am sorry you had to go through that alone but I know Wyatt was there for you. I don't just want to have a relationship with Amari and Gatsby," she says, "I want to have a relationship with you too, get to know you. You are family too. I'm sorry it has taken us this long but I want life to change for all of us. I know you're hurting from losing Wyatt, I know you loved him and he loved you so much. I think it would be great for us all to have a relationship with one another."

"I would like that too and that's what I have always wanted. Let's do this slow," I say. "I'll give you my address so you can send the girls letters."

"I agree doing this slow is probably best for the girls," says Malia, "Madden, I am sorry. I really am."

"It's fine, let's just move on from here," I say writing my address down on a piece of paper for them. "Let's just forget the past and start new today."

"I like that idea," says Talisua.

"Me too," says Malia with a smile.

After meeting with Wyatt's family and feeling pretty good for the decision we made to be part of each other's lives I make it back to my room where the sitter leaves as soon as I get back and I check on the girls to see they are sound asleep. I smile as I look at them sleep before I get myself ready for bed. I throw on a black cami shirt and a pair of grey knit shorts and throw my hair up into a messy bun just as there is a knock on our door. I walk to the door wondering if it is the sitter coming back because she forgot something or the maid service coming to check in but when I open the door I am surprised by the man standing on the other side. "Joe," I say, "what are you doing here?"

He smiles at me and says, "I had to come see you. I have spent the last few days thinking about you and I just can't get you off my mind. I had to come see you."

"You know you could face time me any time you want you don't have to fly all the way to Hawaii," I say with a smile.

"Where would be the fun in that?" he asks with a smile. "Are you going to invite me in or leave me out here?"

"Come in," I say with a smile as I take his hand leading him inside our room.

"It's beautiful," he says, "nice and cozy."

"It is," I say with a smile. "So you saw me."

"And now I'm going to kiss you," he says with a smile making me smile. He leans down and kisses my lips softly as I feel him cup my face, I cup his face as I kiss him back sharing a passionate soft kiss. He breaks the kiss with a smile, "I don't even know how to say this, or how to do this it's been so long but I'm crazy about you, Madden. I just haven't felt this way about anyone but Kate. You're just different for me and our date was the best time I have had in a long time. I want another date with you," he says.

"You flew all the way to Hawaii to ask me on another date? Joe, really you could have just called me," I say with amusement.

"I know it sounds crazy and Madden, I am crazy about you. I keep thinking about you. You're on my mind all the time and yes I am asking you out on another date but I want more than just another date with you, I want a lot of dates with you and I want you to be my girlfriend," he says.

"Wow," I say with a smile, "you flew all the way here to ask me to be your girlfriend? Would it be embarrassing or a waste of money if I told you no?"

"Are you saying no?" he asks with a smile. "Because I am not afraid to beg you."

I smile and shake my head, "not saying no."

"So it's a yes?" he asks.

"Yes," I say with a smile, "I feel so differently about you and I haven't felt this way about anyone but Wyatt but yes, Joe, the answer is yes."

"I was nervous," he says.

"I know," I say, "come here," I say pulling him closer to me so I can kiss his lips softly. "You staying for a couple days?"

"Yeah if that's okay," he says with a smile as he holds me in his arms as I keep my arms wrapped around him.

"Good," I say with a smile before I kiss him again. "Come with me."

"Where are we going?" he asks.

"To the bedroom," I smile as I lead him to my bedroom where we spend part of the night making love to each other before we drift off to sleep holding each other.

 ***A/N: So what did you think? What about Amari getting her wish granted? How about them running into Wyatt's sister? What did you think of Malia and his parents? Do you think it's a good idea for them to be involved in the girls' lives? What did you think about Joe showing up and asking Madden to be his girlfriend? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	10. She's Got It Bad

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

The sun shines in the window waking me from a deep sleep as I feel Joe's arms wrapped around me, holding me close to his body. I smile as I turn to face him to see him sleeping peacefully. I admire the beauty of his face as he sleeps. He truly is a gorgeous man. He has the most beautiful soft hair that smells like coconut, the most beautiful dark brown eyes, a soft tan complexion and his lips, oh those beautiful, soft, full lips of his. He has the perfect mouth, it is etched from perfection. He is etched from perfection his body is amazing. His dark eyes flick open and he smiles at me, "Good morning, Beautiful."

"Good morning," I say with a smile. "How did you sleep?"

"Like I was in Heaven," he smiles. "How did you sleep?"

"The same," I smile. "I never had a man fly all the way across the country to ask me to be their girlfriend."

He chuckles softly and says, "I couldn't wait for you to get back and I didn't want to ask you over the phone so I made my plan to fly here so that I could ask you to be my girlfriend."

"It was a sweet gesture," I smile.

"I am crazy about you, Madden." He says making me smile. I lean over and kiss his lips softly. "Since you're here you just want to stay with us? We are leaving this Saturday."

"I would love to stay with you," he strokes my arm softly, "but I have to go back out on the road Friday so I will have to leave tonight."

"That sucks," I say.

"We still have the day together and there will be more days and nights together," he smiles.

"I hope so," I smile back. He wraps his arm around me pulling me closer to him, kissing me deeply and softly just as the bedroom door flies open.

"MOMMY!" yells Amari causing us to break the kiss and us to cover our naked bodies. "Mr. Joe?" she stops, "what are you doing here?"

"I came to visit," he says with a smile. "I thought it would be cool if I came to Hawaii to hang out with you, Gatsby and your mom today before I have to fly out."

"Oh," she says. "Did you sleep here?"

"I spent the night yes," he answers her before clearing his throat. I sense the nervousness in him.

"Where did you sleep?" she questions. She's relentless.

"Well," he stumbles, looking for the right words to say. "Um, well," he says as I rub his thigh under the covers to give him support. "I um, well, I slept in here."

"WITH my mommy?" she asks.

"Actually," I say, "I didn't sleep in here with Joe. I let him have my bed and I slept on the couch."

"Yeah," agrees Joe. "Your mom slept on the couch and I slept in here because I am too big for the couch."

"Why are you in bed with my mommy now?" she asks as Gatsby comes into the room making this meeting worse.

"Um," he says.

"Mr. Joe?" asks Gatsby. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to hang out today," he says.

"Oh," she says.

"He spent the night," says Amari putting her hands on her hips. "Mommy slept on the couch and Mr. Joe slept in here."

"Okay," she says.

"What were you two doing when I came in?" asks Amari.

"We were just talking," I say. "It's not a big deal, Mari."

"Isn't it?" Gatsby crosses her arms.

"No it's not, how about you two go get dressed, I'll order some room service to get breakfast then we can start our day. How does that sound?" I ask.

"I want fruit and pancakes!" says Amari.

"That sounds good," I say.

"And I want fruit and French toast," says Gatsby.

"Okay," I say, "I got that. You two go get dressed and we will be right out."

"Okay," they said together before leaving my room.

"Well, that was brutal, she's persistent."

"Very," I say with a smile. "I'm sorry about that. They are both very protective of me. I haven't been with a man since Wyatt," I say honestly. "So they aren't used to seeing me with a man."

"Well, they are going to need to get used to seeing you with a man because I am here now and I don't plan on going anywhere." He makes me smile. "So they are going to need to get used to it."

"I know," I smile. "But this is what happens when you sleep with a woman that has kids. Rule number 1 we need to lock the doors."

"I know we do," he agrees. "Mari, was staring daggers through me."

"I doubt that the funny thing is they kept asking me if I was in love with you and wanted us to be together so I don't think they will be mad about. I think they will be happy."

"I hope so," he says as we get out of bed, "but I guess we should get dressed and order them some breakfast then the day is young to do whatever we want."

"Yeah," I say.

Once Joe and I were dressed for the day we ordered room service and then enjoyed a nice breakfast with the girls before we were ready to start our day of adventure which was a scavenger hunt to find Menhuenes on the island. We work together on the scavenger hunt. It takes us all over the resort to find these little people even though I know it's just folklore it's fun to see the girls get excited over the search. It ended with us finding little necklaces with a Menhuene on it because we have just missed these little mysterious and magical creatures. "I'm sad that we missed them," says Amari as we make our way to the beach.

"Your aunt told you it's hard to catch one or see one," I say as Joe and I walk hand in hand to the beach.

"I know but I just wish I could have seen one they seem so cool but at least they left us these really cute necklaces," she says holding it up to me.

"They are pretty cool aren't they?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says. "Mr. Joe, what do you think of the necklace?" she asks.

"I like it. I think it is pretty cool," he says making me smile.

"Yeah," she says with a smile. "Mr. Joe, are you staying with us?"

"Just for today, I have to leave tonight to go back out on the road and how about you and Gatsby just call me Joe instead of Mr. Joe?"

"My mommy said it's not polite to call grown ups by their first name without calling them Miss or Mr." I nod my head in agreement. I have always taught my daughters to be respectful little people addressing adults properly, using their manners and to respect everyone around them.

"I'm all right with you calling me Joe," he says.

"Mommy?" asks Amari. "Is that okay?"

I smile and say, "yes, Amari, you and Gatsby may call him Joe. There is something we want to talk to you two about."

"What, Mom?" asks Gatsby as we settle on a spot on the beach. "Is Amari sick again?"

"I'm NOT sick!" says Amari. "I'm in remission not sick."

"Well, mom said she needed to talk to us about something and usually when she says that it's usually bad news."

"Actually, not all the time," I say.

"Most of the time," she says as Joe chuckles as we sit down on the blanket that we spread out.

"This isn't bad news at least not for me but we wanted to talk to you both about something."

"Okay," says Amari as she looks at me sitting criss cross with her hands folded in her lap as Gatsby is doing the same thing.

"How much do you like Joe?" I ask.

"I like him a lot," says Gatsby.

"Me too," says Amari, "he saved my life."

"Yes he did," I smile. "How would you feel about Joe coming around and visiting a lot more?"

"That would be fun!" says Amari, "he is my best friend."

"Thanks, Mari," says Joe with a smile. "You're my best friend too."

"I want him to come more," says Gatsby, "can he?"

"That's what we wanted to talk to you about," I say, "Joe will probably be coming to visit us a little more and spending a lot more time with us."

"Why?" asks Amari.

"You don't want me to?" asks Joe, "you just said I was your best friend."

"You are. I just asked why," she says.

"Because I like your mommy a lot and I flew all the way here to ask your mommy to be my girlfriend."

"Did she say yes?" asks Gatsby excitedly.

"Did you, Mommy?"

Joe laughs softly and says, "Yes, she said yes."

"So you're her boyfriend?" asks Gatsby.

"I am," he says proudly.

"He is," I smile with pride.

They jump up together and start screaming with excitement. "Finally!" says Gatsby.

"Finally?" asks Joe.

"What do you mean finally?" I ask.

"You see we have been praying to God that you would find a guy to love and be happy with. We met Mr. Joe and we knew he was perfect for you. He always looks at you like he loves you and you look at him like you love him. And Mr. Dean babysat us when you went on your date. He told us that Mr. Joe really liked you and he was always talking about you. I told him you really liked Mr. Joe too and that you were always talking about him. We knew you two would fall in love someday."

"Mr. Dean told you that huh?" asks Joe.

"Yes he did," says Gatsby with a smile.

"I'm going to need to talk to Mr. Dean about that," he says. "That was my secret."

"It wasn't really a secret when you always looked at my mommy like you love her," says Gatsby.

"How did I look at her like that?" asks Joe with a smile of amusement.

"You could never stop looking at her and you had these google eyes every time you look at her."

"You're right I could never stop looking at her, your mom is a very beautiful woman."

"She's smart too," says Amari. "She teached me everything I know."

"Taught," I correct.

"Ooops, taught," she corrects herself.

"I don't deny that your mom is smart either," he smiles. "I think she's smart and beautiful."

"She really is," says Gatsby.

"The BEST mommy in the world!" says Amari making me smile. "And she knows how to love someone very good."

"I'm sure," says Joe as he rubs my back softly. "So I will be around a little more to see your mom and of course to see you two."

"Yay!" they say together making us both smile.

"Are you okay with us being boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Yes! Are you going to get married?" asks Amari.

"This is new," I say, "we don't have to rush into anything." I am taking a huge step by even getting into a committed relationship with Joe. I have shielded myself from romance for so long and my heart does still belong to Wyatt. It will probably always be Wyatt's so I don't know if I could ever marry another man. I am not sure if I could ever fall in love with another man and as for Joe I know he has been through the same pain I have been through, losing the person you love is not easy and it's hard to move on from them knowing you still had your whole lives ahead together. I'm going to do my best to love Joe and be with him but as far as marriage goes I don't foresee that happening but then again I never expected to sleep or be involved with another man since Wyatt and here I am.

"That's right," says Joe, "there's no need to rush right now we're just getting to know each other and enjoy each other's company. Maybe someday we will get married but I don't know," he says I am glad he's on the same page as me.

"I hope so," says Amari with a smile, "Mommy, you have been so sad since Daddy went to Heaven and I got sick. I want to see you happy again like before I got sick and before Daddy went to Heaven." Tears burn my eyes that my 6 year old has realized and seen my pain. I tried to mask it for so long but I guess I didn't hide it well enough. "Don't cry, Mommy," she says giving me a hug before Gatsby joins her. I hug both my girls tight trying not to cry about how life was supposed to be for me and the girls realizing all the dreams I had were gone after one visit and one doctor's appointment. If you ever think you'll do this tomorrow or put things off till another day remember that not every day is promised, not every tomorrow comes and not every next month arrives. Some people made plans in the morning for that night, or made plans last night for today and they never made it. I have learned to never take another day for granted in my life and hug all my loved ones a little tighter letting them know how much I love and care about them because life is never promised.

We enjoy the afternoon at the beach together after we tell the girls that we are officially together which they seem pretty happy about and the way Joe is with my girls is amazing. We built the biggest sandcastle together that we could have ever built, spent some time in the ocean where we splash each other and Joe throws each of the girls in the water. We jump some waves and then soak up the sun enjoying each other's company. I love how approving the girls are of Joe and how well they already get along it has been a long time since they had a male father figure in their lives. Their laughter and giggles make me smile. I love to see them happy as much as they love to see me happy. After an afternoon on the beach before Joe has to leave to go back out on the road we enjoy a nice early dinner together before the girls and I go to watch the movie of the night playing on the lawn.

"Do you have to go, Joe?" asks Amari.

"Can't you stay?" asks Gatsby, "We had so much fun today with you, can't you stay with us?"

"I had fun too and I wish I could stay but I can't. I want to stay but I have to go back to work," he says down on their level.

"That's not fair," says Gatsby.

"I know, Hawaii has been so much fun," he says, "and it's a beautiful island but I have to go back to work. I have shows that I need to work and I can't disappoint my fans. They are expecting me to be there."

"Do you do a lot of shows?" Amari asks.

"I do about four shows a week and sometimes I make appearances on TV shows and to sign autographs and you know what else I do sometimes?" he asks wrapping his arm around her as she sits on his leg.

"What?" she asks.

"Sometimes I grant wishes to kids that have cancer like you did and I go to visit children in a children's hospital. It's one of my favorite things to do," he says. "I love to make little kids smile and make sick kids smile. I always tell them my story of having cancer once too to give them a little bit more hope."

"Did you ever get sick again?" she asks.

"No, I have been in remission for 11 years. I was scared too, Mari and I am still scared that it could come back at any time. It's scary to think about but I try to keep my hope that it won't ever come back and I won't be sick again. I am grateful to be alive, to live my life."

"What if your cancer comes back?" she asks.

"If it comes back I am going to need to fight again and go back into remission," he says. "I know it's scary, Amari but you can't keep thinking that it is going to come back. You need to think about everything you want to do with your life. I know you're only 6 and it will probably change many times but right now what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A doctor," she says, "so that I can make sick people better."

He smiles and says, "I think you will make a great doctor one day."

"Thank-you," she smiles. "I love you, Joe," she says giving him a hug.

"I love you too," he says hugging her back and kissing the top of her head. I still love the bond that they share and I am glad that Joe can relate to her fears and feelings of her cancer possibly coming back and I hope it gives her a little bit more hope that she can get through this and she could go the rest of her life without cancer coming back. "I have an idea," he says.

"What?" asks Amari.

"How about when I come to visit in Philadelphia and if it is okay with your mom you, me and Gatsby do something to hang out, maybe I could take you to the museum or something in Philly so we can have a day together how does that sound?"

"I want to," says Gatsby.

"Me too," says Amari.

"Madden is it okay if I take the girls out for a day to hang out and spend some time with them when I come to visit?" he asks looking up at me.

"That's fine, I am okay with it as long as you avoid a lot of big crowds Mari's immune system is still weak," I say.

"I promise no big crowds," he says with his gorgeous smile. "So it's a date!" he tells them and they cheer making us smile. It is a shame he was never a father with his wife before she passed away because he would have been a pretty amazing dad if he is this awesome with my girls. "All right, I have to get going and I will see you both on Tuesday afternoon. I hope that you two enjoy the rest of your trip and I can't wait to hear all about it when I come to visit," he says before he kisses each of them on the top of their heads. They tell him goodbye as he stands up to face me. "Come here," he says with a smile and that voice, that panty dropping voice. It made me drop my panties multiple times I smile as I think about it.

"I'm going to miss you," I wrap my arms around him as he wraps his around me.

"I'm going to miss you too but I am going to text you every day and call you every night. This type of relationship is going to be hard but we are going to make it work," he says.

"Yeah we will," I smile at him. He leans down and kisses my lips softly as I smile against his lips as the girls giggle beside us. "Have a safe trip," I say as we break the kiss.

"You too," he smiles. "I'll call you when my flight lands, enjoy the rest of your time in Hawaii," he says.

"I will, I can't wait to see you on Tuesday," I smile.

"Tuesday," he says before he kisses my lips once more before he leaves to go to the airport leaving us to enjoy the rest of our fabulous vacation in Hawaii together but I am just counting the days till I see him again, I think I've got it bad for him.

 ***A/N: What did you think of Amari and Gatsby catching Madden and Joe in bed together? What did you think of Amari asking all those questions? What did you think of the girls' reaction to Joe and Madden being in a relationship? How do you think her sister is going to react when she tells her? What do you think of Joe's relationship with the girls? Is he awesome with them or what? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	11. Meeting the sister

**thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated thank-you all so much***

 **Kenzie's point of view:**

"So Mari, how was Hawaii was it everything that you dreamed it would be?" I ask my 6 year old niece as we are in the kitchen baking a cake together while her sister Gatsby is at school after missing a week for their trip to Hawaii and my sister Madden is upstairs taking a shower.

"Hawaii was awesome, Aunt Kenzie," she says with a smile. "It was everything I hoped for and I got to meet Moana she called me a warrior like her. I am a warrior because I beat cancer," she says making me smile. My niece is the strongest child I know and she's a fighter for sure while everything has been against her in the last year she has overcome it. She's doing pretty good right now and hopefully it stays that way but we all know that cancer can come back at any time. "I even got a Moana makeover so I looked just like her."

"That sounds pretty fun, I wish we could have gone. I'm glad that you had a great time, Mari. What else did you do?"

"We ate a lot of island food the fruits were so sweet," she says, "and we went to these shows for dinner to watch people dance with fire. We went snorkeling and saw all these colorful fish. We also went on a Menehune hunt."

"What is a Menehune?" I ask.

"They are like unicorns," she says. "They are magical little people that no one has ever seen. They play tricks on the people on the island. They left us these necklaces," she says showing me a necklace with a little wooden creature on it. "We never found any they are very tricky."

"They sound tricky," I say as I hand her the spatula to help icing the chocolate cake with vanilla icing. "So you had a good time?"

"Yeah and my mommy's boyfriend came too and we had so much fun," she says surprising me with the news that my sister has a boyfriend. I had no idea.

"Your mommy has a boyfriend?" I ask.

"Yeah, Mr. Joe is her boyfriend," she says matter of factly as we icing the cake. "He's pretty awesome."

"Oh really?" I ask, "are you sure about that?" I ask.

"Yes," she says, "he spent the night with Mommy."

"Did he?" I ask curiously. "And where did Mr. Joe sleep when he spent the night with your mommy?"

"In her bed," she says.

"Interesting," I say with a soft smile.

"What's interesting?" asks my sister Madden as she comes into the kitchen after her shower dressed in a pair of faded blue distressed jeans with a black t-shirt with her hair hanging down to her shoulders showing off her fresh tan from Hawaii. "And what are you making?"

"A cake," says Mari with a smile.

"It looks good," she says with a smile.

"I hope I can have a piece," she says.

"Of course you can," says Madden before getting a bottle of water out of the fridge. "so what is interesting?"

"Oh Mari and I were just talking," I say with a smile waiting for her to tell me the big news in her life. I know she hasn't been ready to date because of losing Wyatt but also with Mari being so sick she didn't want to date because that's a lot for someone to take on plus her attention was where it belonged on her daughter. "You're looking pretty happy," I say with a smile, "and you're pretty dressed up to not be doing anything today."

"I am pretty happy," she says drinking some of her water. "It's been a good couple weeks. My baby is in remission of course I am happy."

"No other reason?" I ask.

"Maybe, it's just been a good couple weeks. I mean I was in Hawaii last week it doesn't get any better than that."

"Uh huh," I say, "so there isn't a man taking up some of your time to put that smile on her face," I say before she starts choking on her water. 'I thought so, Mari told me that you had a boyfriend that came to Hawaii with you. When did that happen?" I ask.

She lets out a breath and says, "I guess the secret is out now. Thanks, Mari."

"You're welcome Mommy. When is Joe coming?"

"He will be here later," she says. "Can you go upstairs while I talk to Aunt Kenz please?"

"But the cake," she says.

"Mari, we'll finish it later," I say, "your mom and I need to talk."

"Okay," she says before jumping down from the chair. She's looking pretty good she's gaining back the weight she lost, her hair is growing back in and she's not as lethargic as she used to be.

"So a boyfriend huh? That's new," I say.

"Because it is new," she says.

"But he went to Hawaii with you," she says.

"No, that's not how it happened," she explains. "Joe asked me out on a date so we went out on a date and then we were just talking to each other after that. He showed up in Hawaii as a surprise to ask me to be his girlfriend. I had no idea he was going to show up but he did. And when he showed up he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes."

"When did you plan on telling me this news?" I ask.

"I don't know today but I didn't get the chance. Joe is coming tonight to hang out with the girls."

"I see," I say, "you don't think it's weird that this guy flew all the way to Hawaii to ask you to be his girlfriend the same man that donated bone marrow to your daughter?"

"What's weird about it?" she asks. "He's not a bad guy he's a pretty good guy and he's awesome with the girls. You have wanted me to be happy for so long and I am finally happy can I please get my happiness without judgment?"

"I don't know his intentions make me nervous," I say, "something seems off with him."

"Nothing is off," she says, "I promise."

"Okay," I say, "and he slept with you does that mean you two are sleeping together?"

"Kenzie, I am a woman that has needs, needs that haven't been satisfied by a man for nearly 3 years and just a vibrator of course we are sleeping together."

"Are you at least being safe about it, birth control or condoms?" I ask with concern for my little sister. I don't know much about this Joe guy but I plan to find out a little more about him. Especially if he's hanging around my nieces and my sister, they have been through enough.

"Um," she says and I already know the answer to that question.

"Madden, come on! At least protect yourself you don't know how many women this man has been with. And you're not exactly infertile so what if you get pregnant, do you think you can handle a pregnancy right now?"

"I probably can't but if it happens it happens it's too late to go back now," she says.

"That's so careless and foolish," I shake my head. "You know better."

"I probably should have learned my lesson huh?" she asks.

"I didn't say that I just care about you, Madden. I don't want to see you get hurt you've had a rough 3 years so I am just looking out for you."

"I know but Joe coming to Hawaii wasn't the only big thing that happened. We ran into Wyatt's sister while we were there. She was working in that little salon that did the girls' makeovers. Later that night we had a sit down her, me and their parents. Of course they made me out to be the bad person that took Wyatt away from them and the one keeping their grandchildren away from them but that's not true. I have been reaching out to them even before Wyatt died. His mom tried to turn it around on me like I have deprived her of her grandchildren when that's not the case. I tried and I even reached out to them when Amari was sick and needed a donor they didn't want anything to do with her or anything to do with it."

"So what happens now?" I ask.

"They want to be in their lives and they believe that they need to know their culture. I'm sorry but I have a thing for Polynesian men obviously and I am very educated on the Polynesian culture and I can teach my kids about their heritage. They are very proud to be Kahele and to be Hawaiian but they want to be in their lives. I don't know if it will happen but I told them to start off slow. I told them to start by writing letters and the girls will write back to them and then we can go from there. I don't want to overwhelm the girls."

"I understand that, do you think they will actually write them?" I ask.

"The ball is in their court. I will go on living my life without worry if they don't. My girls have never asked about their dad's family so the ball is in their court. I'm not saying I don't want them to have a relationship with their family it's just I'm not going to be upset if Wyatt's family falls through on their end. I reached out several times I'm not reaching out anymore."

"Good for you," I smile.

"Thanks," she says.

"So back to Joe," I say, "what made you ready to date again and be in a relationship? I have been trying for months and you haven't been ready."

"I don't know there's just something about him, Kenzie. He's the sweetest man I know and somehow the stars all aligned and I just feel something about him. I haven't felt this way about anyone except Wyatt."

"I see," I say, "I can't wait to meet him tonight."

"You will love him too. I promise," she says.

 **LATER THAT NIGHT:**

 **JOE:**

I got into Philadelphia in the late afternoon and arrived at Madden's house around 4pm. I left my things in her bedroom before I took the girls out to hang out so I could get to know them more and know more about them. Our first stop was to go out to eat to have some pizza together. We enjoy a nice pepperoni pizza together before we go to play a game of bowling. "Do you two like to bowl?" I ask them as we are putting on our rental shoes.

"Yeah," says Gatsby. "It's a lot of fun. Do you like to go bowling?"

"I don't really get the time to go out bowling," I say. "I'm always working."

"Oh," says Amari. "Where do you live?" she asks.

"I live in Florida," I say, "I live in Tampa with my cousin Nia," I say honestly.

"Oh," says Amari, "that's far away. We went to Florida once before my daddy died. We went to Disneyworld but I don't remember because I was only 3."

"I see, I haven't been to Disneyworld in a long time I used to go when I was little with my family for family vacations."

"That sounds like fun," she says. "Do you have a dog?"

I chuckle and say, "I don't have a dog but my cousin Nia has a dog. I just haven't really had the time to get a dog."

"Dogs are cool," she says, "I want a dog but my mom told me I can't get one until we move out of our Aunt's house. We used to have a big house but then I got sick and my daddy died so we moved into our Aunt Kenzie's house."

"I see," I say. "Maybe one day you'll be able to get the dog that you want because I am sure your mommy is going to get her house soon." I understand the financial hardships of losing a spouse. You have funeral expenses and then your child gets sick. Surgeries and transplants as well as hospital stays and all kinds of treatments are expensive so I understand Madden's hardship and why she chose to move in with her sister. My goal is to hopefully get a place together whether it be here in Philadelphia or in Florida but we'll wait on that.

"I hope so," she says. "Do you have kids?" she asks.

"No, I don't have any kids," I say.

"Oh," says Amari as we get ready to bowl. "Are you sleeping over with my mommy again?"

"I planned on it unless your mommy wants me to go to a hotel," I say knowing that her sister is ready to question me when I take the girls home. I avoided it earlier but there's no avoiding it now. I don't want to be disrespectful to her sister in her house if she doesn't like me when we talk.

"Oh," she says.

We play a couple rounds of bowling together and I realize that I am not a very good bowler. I suck even with the bumpers on the side to prevent gutter balls. Gatsby and Amari beat me in bowling and they are pretty good at the game. I stop to get them some ice-cream before we head home so that they can both get ready for bed since they both have school in the morning. I pull up in front of the house in my rental car and open the door for them to get out of the car as I grab Amari's booster seat to give to Madden. We walk to the front door and I ring the doorbell before Madden answers the door a couple minutes later dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top with her hair up in a messy bun looking beautiful. "Hey," she says giving me a smile before greeting me with a quick kiss. "Did you have fun?"

"A lot of fun!" says Gatsby, "And Joe isn't a very good bowler."

"No he isn't," Amari shakes her head in agreement. "He did a bad job."

"I wasn't that bad," I say as we walk into the house. "Just not that great either."

"You didn't get a strike," says Mari.

"Okay," I say putting my hands up. "I'm not good at bowling."

She smiles up at me and says, "no but you're a good person. I love you, Joe." She wraps her tiny arms around me as I wrap my arms around her.

"I love you too, Mari," I say with a smile as Madden looks at me with a smile.

"All right, girls, it's time for you two to get ready for bed. Tell Joe goodnight," she says.

"Goodnight girls," I say with a smile hugging both of them.

"Goodnight, Joe," they say together before heading upstairs.

"I'll be right back," Madden promises, "talk to Kenzie." I nod and make my way to the living room feeling anxious to meet her sister.

I walk into the living room to see her sister sitting on the couch. They don't look like sisters to me. Madden has blue eyes and blondish brown hair while her sister has dark eyes and dark hair. "You must be Joe," she says, "Please have a seat. Let's talk."

"Okay," I say before taking a seat on the chair near the couch.

"I want to start off by saying it's very nice to meet you. I am Kenzie."

"Hey, Kenzie," I say shaking her hand, "I'm Joe."

"I want to say thank you for saving my niece's life. It was very nice of you to donate your bone marrow to her."

"I just wanted to help someone."

"I understand," she says, "so tell me a little about you."

"Well, my name is Joe, I live in Florida but I'm a WWE superstar so I have a heavy schedule. I travel all over and I am on the road a lot so I am hardly ever home more than 2 days a week. Right now I am sharing a house with my cousin Nia in Florida. I'm a big family man and I love my family. My wife passed away a couple years ago in a work accident. I don't have any kids. I enjoy traveling and I love football."

"I'm sorry about your wife, I'm sure you know about Wyatt and his passing?" she asks.

"I do know about it," I nod.

"So what are your intentions with my sister? She has gone through a lot in the last few years. I need to know that your intentions are pure."

"I am very attracted to your sister. I have never felt this way about anyone except for my wife. I think your sister is amazing and strong. I think she's beautiful and she's an awesome mother to her children. I want to get to know her, love her and hopefully one day marry her and have a family with her as long as Madden is up for that. I do want to make this relationship last as long as I can but I also understand your sister's grief and I am not going to rush her or push her into anything she's not ready for so we are just going to take it one step at a time and enjoy what we have now and not think about the future."

"I see," she says, "and how do you plan to have a relationship with her while you live in Florida and you're on the road a lot?"

"Well," I say, "I'm here now to see the girls and see her. Having a relationship while on the road is going to take some time to adjust to but we can make it work by talking every day."

"And my nieces what do you think of them and what's your intention with them?"

"I think Gatsby and Amari are great kids," I say. "I enjoy spending time with them and getting to know them. I care about them as much as I do their mother."

"Okay," she says, "I don't want to see their hearts broken they have all been through enough."

"I have no intention of breaking any hearts," I say, "I promise."

"I should hope not but I have to look out for my sister and her girls, we don't have much family left. She's all I got and I am all she's got since our parents passed away. I don't want to see her hurt."

"My intention is not to hurt her, you have my word," I say as Madden comes back into the living room.

"If you're done harassing my man I would like to go spend some time with him before he has to leave again," she says.

"I'm done harassing him," says Kenzie, "he is all yours."

"Damn right he is," she says making me smile. I stand up and take her hand into mine pulling her close to me. I capture her lips for a soft sweet kiss. Kenzie clears her throat causing us to break the kiss. "Come on," she says taking me upstairs to her bedroom. She shuts and locks the door behind us and then kisses me again. I kiss her back, cupping her face in my hands as I kiss her. She guides me over to the bed without breaking the kiss. "I missed you," she says.

"I missed you too," I say kissing her again.

As things start heating up between us, as we strip each other out of our clothes, kissing and feeling all over each other just as we are about to make love again she stops me and says, "my sister brought up a good point earlier, maybe we should be more careful. I'm not on birth control and we haven't been using any protection. I think we are taking a big risk."

"I'm not worried about the risk," I say with a smile. "I knew the risk the first night we were together and I was fine with the risk. Are you okay with the risk of having a child?"

"I mean, I guess," she says wrapping her arms around me.

"If it happens, Madden it happens, I'm not going to be a shit father if it does happen. I'll be there. We'll deal with it and get through it together. Do you want me to wear a condom?"

"I think we are okay," she smiles. I lean down and kiss her lips softly as I slowly enter her to make love to her over and over again this night.

 ***A/N: What did you think of Mari telling Kenzie the news about Joe and Madden? Do you think Kenzie likes Joe and thinks he's good enough for her sister? What do you think of Joe's relationship with the girls? Do you think Wyatt's family is going to write to the girls? And finally what do you think of the risk Joe and Madden are taking together? What about Joe's intentions for his relationship with Madden? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	12. Love isn't something You Find

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated thank-you all so much***

"Well, well, well," says my cousin Nia as I am in the kitchen eating some lunch, "look who decided to finally come home."

"I know it's been a while," I say.

"Where have you been all this time?" she asks as she takes a seat at the table with me.

"In Philadelphia," I answer her as I take a bite of my sandwich.

"What are you doing in Philadelphia?" she asks.

"Visiting my girlfriend and her kids," I say.

"When did you get a girlfriend? This is news to me." I haven't really told anyone about mine and Madden's relationship because it's not really anyone's business but our own. I have been enjoying my time with Madden in Philadelphia but I haven't been to Tampa in so long it was time to come back so that Nia knew that I still live here. It's hard to have a girlfriend 17 hours away from where you live and it's even harder when you're on the road so much. I try to see her and the girls as much as I can but I needed to get some more clothes from my home and just get back to the warm weather in Tampa. "Sit down, I want details, who is she, how did you meet her," she says with excitement making me smile.

"I am sitting," I remind her with a smile of amusement. "You sure are happy for me."

"Of course I am, I know how hard it's been for you since you lost Kate a couple years ago. I know it's been a rough couple years for you and you vowed to never fall in love again or be with anyone again. What changed?" she asks. "I still want some details."

"Okay," I say, "what do you want to know?"

"You are so happy," she says, "I haven't seen you smile this much since Kate. She must be a really special woman. I am happy to finally see you so happy."

"She is pretty special," I smile. "And I never thought I would be able to find the happiness that I found in Kate in anyone else but she makes me happy."

"So what's her name?" she asks.

"Madden," I answer her question.

"Madden, like the game?" she asks.

"I know it's a different type of name and yes. I love her name it fits her very well," I say.

"It is a pretty name just different," she says, "so what does she do for a living?"

"She used to be a nurse," I say, "but she's on leave right now," I say.

"A nurse, that's a pretty nice job, why is she on leave?" she asks.

"Personal reasons," I say, "I know she's ready to get back to work. She's been living with her sister and her husband for about a year now because she had to mortgage her house and it went under foreclosure. She's ready to go back to work so that she can get an apartment for herself and her girls."

"She has kids? Is she divorced?" she asks. "Because I don't want you to be mixed up in any baby daddy drama."

"No," I say, "she has two little girls; Gatsby, she's 8 years old and she's the sweetest little girl. She calls her mom out a lot and she has a 6 year old named Amari who has won my heart. She is not divorced so there's no drama there. Her husband was a marine and he died in battle. He went overseas to the middle east and never made it back home. He died a couple years ago."

"I see," she says with a nod. "Did you two meet at a WWE show?"

"Not exactly, I actually donated bone marrow to Amari a few months ago. I met them not too long after. I don't know what happened but I just fell in love with Mari and Gatsby but I also fell in love with Madden. I flew all the way to Hawaii to ask her to be my girlfriend. It just felt so right, being with her just feels right."

"Is that appropriate that you are now in a relationship with the child you donated your bone marrow to's mother?" she asks. "I mean is that okay?"

"I think so, it's not like I donated my bone marrow in hopes of finding a relationship out of it. Fate just happened that way. It's like I've heard before, Love isn't something you find, love is something that finds you. Madden wasn't looking for a relationship either when I donated my bone marrow, fate happened and here we are."

"I see," she says, "but as long as you're happy that's all that matters but where did you say she lives?"

"Philadelphia," I say, "I know it's so far away but we'll figure it out. I will probably be spending more time in Philly than down here."

"You planning on moving out?"

"Not right now but maybe sometime down the road," I say honestly. "It is just a matter of where."

"I see," she says. "What does she look like?"

"Hold on, I have a picture of us together." I pull out my phone and I slide through my gallery to find the picture to show Nia. I smile as I find my favorite one of us together in her home in Philadelphia. I snapped the selfie of us in the living room on the couch, her head is resting on my shoulder and my arm wrapped around her while she has her feet folded beneath her. Her beautiful smile showing her perfect white teeth, I can see the freckles on her nose and her blue eyes shining with love and appreciation. Her dirty blonde hair pulled up in a messy bun on the top of her head. She's beautiful. I show Nia. "This is Madden."

She looks over the picture and smiles, "she is beautiful and you two look great together."

"Thank-you," I smile at the compliment. We do look pretty good together I have to say. It's like we are perfect for one another. I know she will never love me more than she loved Wyatt but I also will never love her more than I love Kate. I figure we are far more alike than I thought or either of us thought. I miss her already and I take the opportunity to text her how much I miss her and let her know I will call her later to talk but she doesn't reply back right away. "I am pretty sure I love her," I admit.

"That's pretty big for you," she says, "I mean you went all this time not wanting to fall in love with anyone after Kate, but I am glad and happy that you found someone that makes you just as happy and someone you are capable of loving," she says. "You deserve all the happiness."

"Thank-you," I smile. I never thought loving another woman was possible after Kate but then I met Madden and everything just fell into place.

Sitting at the table looking over the new medical bills that came in for Amari wondering how I am going to make a payment for all of these bills, chemotherapy isn't cheap, radiation isn't cheap and a bone marrow transplant isn't cheap. State insurance only covers so much before they cut you off for treatment. "What's up?" asks Kenzie as she comes into the kitchen as I am looking at all the bills.

"More bills came today. $600,000 for both bone marrow transplants," I say. "I don't have $600,000 that's a lot of money. I have hardly anything in my account and over $24,000 for the chemotherapy Mari received. I lost my house paying for medical bills and I have nothing left to give. I'm still out of work," I say with tears burning my eyes. "I don't know what I can do."

"Maybe see if Wyatt's family can help out with the bills," she suggests and I roll my eyes.

"Please, they don't give a shit about either of the girls, it's been a month since we came back from Hawaii and not one letter has been sent to them. They just wanted to cause drama on our trip just like they always did with Wyatt and me. I don't know what to do Kenz, I can't go back to work until Mari is back to 100% and she's still not there yet."

"I could give you a loan, you know help you out until you can pay me back," she suggests.

"No, Kenz, you have already done enough for us. You let us live with you," I say. "I can't ask you to take care of my medical bills. It seems like you need to be a millionaire to get some medical treatment around here."

"Madden, I am not about to let you suffer and go broke because your baby was sick. I thought there were foundations that could help out with these types of things?" she asks.

"I don't know," I say, "I applied and got denied for a couple of them. At this point I should just start selling my body to make a little bit of cash. What's the prostitute rate these days?"

"3 years in jail, Madden, you're not selling your body to have sex to make money. Besides I don't think Roman would like that very much."

"No probably not, I really don't know what I am supposed to do Kenz, I can't work until Mari doesn't need me around nearly 24/7. And all this has me stressed out to the point my period is late."

"Hmm, I wonder why else your period could be late, Madden," she says. "It's not like you and Joe are using protection so I hope you're not pregnant."

"I am not pregnant, just stressed I am not even sick," I say. "With both Gatsby and Mari I was extremely sick. If I was pregnant I would be sick too."

"I don't know," she says. "So what's going on with Joe anyway is it serious or just a fling?"

"It's not just a fling," I say. "It's pretty serious. I like him a lot. I may even be in love with him. I never thought after Wyatt that I could love another man but then Joe came along and everything changed. I just wish he didn't live in Florida."

"Yeah that's going to be tough not to mention the fact that he travels all over the world so much that's going to take a toll also."

"I know but we are going to make it work," I say. "Wyatt and I used to make it work when he would go overseas or to the Middle East. At least Joe will come here to visit every week it's not like when Wyatt would be gone months at a time on a tour. That was hard but we made it work even with two kids. I wish it had been different but we made it work," I say, "I'm sure Joe and I could make this work just the same."

"Would you move to Florida if he asked you to or would he move here to Philadelphia?" she asks.

"Honestly I wouldn't mind moving to Florida. I am not that big of a Philadelphia fan, I mean I like it here but I don't love it here. I wouldn't mind going to Florida but we are no where close to making a decision like that."

"But you are able to make the decision to have unprotected sex with this man? If you get pregnant what are you going to do then?" she asks.

"I don't know, Joe and I would have to figure that out together. If it happens it happens there's nothing that can change it we would just have to figure it out."

"Well, you are playing with fire right now," she says. "You should probably get some birth control."

"I can't even afford birth control, Kenz that's why I am not on it," I say.

"So condoms work too," she says.

I let out a breath and say, "I understand what you're saying and I understand your concern but I hate condoms and the way they feel. I am old enough to make this decision and if a pregnancy happens then it happens we will figure it out. Now, I think I have an idea of what I want to do to pay these medical bills."

"What's your idea?" she asks.

"I could start a Gofund me account and do a lot of things to earn money like a yard sale, maybe an auction I could see if Joe could get some merchandise to auction off or something like that."

"That sounds like a good idea," she says. "We will…"

She starts to say before Gatsby comes running into the kitchen yelling, "Mom! MOM! MOM!" she says out of breath.

Panicked I stand up and say, "What's going on, Gatsby, what's wrong?" I ask.

"It's Mari," she says and I jump out of the chair. "She is crying she said her leg hurts and her hip hurts. She said she can't move."

"Did she fall?" I ask knowing that Mari has been complaining about her leg hurting a lot lately. I have noticed the limp but I thought she bumped it on something.

"No we were playing a game and she started crying because her leg hurts," she says, "Come on," she says taking my hand pulling me to the stairs. I run up the stairs to the girls' bedroom to see Amari laying on the floor crying out in pain.

"Mommy it hurts," she cries.

"What hurts?" I ask.

"My leg it hurts. I can't move it," she says.

"All right let me see," I say kneeling beside her. I take my hand over her tiny leg and she cries out in pain. It's swollen and there is some bruising. "Did you bump it or hurt it someway?"

"No," she says. "I didn't bump it," she says. "It just started to hurt and now it really hurts," she says.

"Okay," I say with a nod as Kenzie comes into the room. "We have to go to the hospital," I say. "Something's not right."

"All right," she says, "we'll go to the hospital." I pick Amari up off the floor not worrying about putting her in a pair of shoes. I have Gatsby grab her a pair of boots and her jacket as I wrap her up in a blanket. I hurry down the stairs. I grab my jacket with Gatsby following behind me. I get Amari into the car and into her carseat before I make sure Gatsby is in. I jump in the passenger seat as Kenzie starts the car and we head off to the Children's Hospital to have her checked out.

"Please God, don't let this be what I think it is, please let my baby be okay," I pray in desperation. "Wyatt, please, help him out please help Mari let her be okay. Please let her be okay," I say with tears burning my eyes as we drive through the crowded streets of Philadelphia. It feels like an eternity before we arrive at the hospital. Kenzie lets me get out of the car and get Mari out before she parks the car.

I run into the emergency room in a frantic state saying, "Please help me, my baby can't walk, she's in a lot of pain," I throw to the lady at the reception desk.

"Please relax," she says, "What is your daughter's name?"

I give the receptionist her name before I start talking fast, "she's in remission for Neuroblastoma and she had a bone marrow transplant."

"All right," she says. "When is Amari's birthday?"

"September 15th, 2012," I say.

"Okay," she says. She prints off a hospital bracelet for her and puts it on Amari's tiny arm. "Please have a seat and a doctor will be with you shortly."

"Thank-you," I say before I take a seat holding Amari in my arms.

"Mommy, am I sick again?" she asks.

"I hope not," I say. "Let's think positive okay?" I ask her.

"Okay, Mommy," she says as she hugs me. "It really hurts."

"The doctor is going to check you out," I say as my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out and see that it's Joe calling. "Joe, I can't talk now. I have Amari at the hospital," I say.

"What's going on? Is she okay?" he asks with concern in his voice.

"I don't know, she's in a lot of pain. It hurts her to walk," I say.

"Okay," he says. "Are you okay?" he asks.

"I don't know," I say. "I really have to go. I will call you when I know what's going on okay?"

"Okay," he says. "Bye."

"Bye, Baby," I say hanging up the phone and letting out a deep breath. I just hope that everything is okay with Amari. I can't go through cancer again, she can't go through cancer again.

 ***A/N: So what did you think? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	13. Life Isn't Fair

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated thank-you all so much***

Sitting in my daughter's hospital room as she sleeps from the pain medicine they administered to her waiting on the results of her blood tests, urinalysis and a sample of her bone marrow is like waiting in a reoccurring nightmare. I sat in this chair before waiting to hear the news that my little girl had Neuroblastoma. It was the hardest day of my life next to losing my husband and the love of my life. I faced it alone over a year ago and I sit alone again waiting for Dr. Anderson to come talk to me after they called him in after hours. The evening sky has given way to the night after a beautiful sunset and it's nearing 8 pm. My stomach turns, nausea takes over me as I get up and run to the bathroom in Amari's room to empty the contents of my stomach. I wash my face off with water before I got back out into Amari's room. I sit next to her bed as she sleeps, just watching her breaks my heart. I can't go through cancer again and I know she can't go through cancer again. "Have positive faith," says Kenz as she sits down next to me. "I'm sure everything is going to be okay."

"I hope so," I say with tears burning my eyes. My chest hurts and there's a lump in my throat as I hold back the sobs I want to release. I take Mari's tiny hand and hold it while she sleeps. "It's making me sick. Just thinking about her going through chemotherapy again and thinking that she has to fight cancer again. She was getting better, she was in remission," I say. "It's not fair to her."

Kenz rubs my back and says, "don't say was she IS in remission. She IS getting better and she's not going to go through chemotherapy again. She's just having leg pain. She's going to be okay but I am worried about you."

"I have been here before, Kenz, I know that Amari is not okay, the doctor was too concerned and the fact they called in Dr. Anderson is not a good sign," I say, "and why are you worried about me? I'm perfectly fine," I say.

"Madden, you're saying you're sick from the thought of Mari going through Chemo again but you have been in and out of the bathroom sick most of the time we were here and your period is late."

"Kenz, what are you saying?" I ask.

"That I think there's a lot more going on than you being sick with fear of your daughter going through cancer again. I think that you're pregnant," she says. "Let's be honest you and Joe haven't exactly been careful so it's possible," she says.

"I can't talk about that right now or even think about that right now. I need to think about Amari and where we are going to go from here. That's what I am worried about," I say.

"You can't stay in denial about it, Madden. That baby deserves a chance too. You need to find out," she says.

"What baby? I'm NOT pregnant!" I say.

"You're having a baby?" asks Amari as she wakes up.

"How are you feeling, Mari?" I ask her ignoring her question.

"It doesn't hurt anymore," she says groggily. "Am I sick again?"

"We're waiting on the results," I say as I take my hand over the curls on the top of her head that started to grow back. "If you are sick again we will get through it I promise."

"I don't want to be sick again," she says. "Mommy, I don't want to be sick again," she says with tears in her eyes and the tears in my eyes fall to my cheeks. I don't know how to explain to my 6 year old that sometimes things happen beyond our control and as much as we don't want her to be sick again it's beyond our control. "Please, Mommy," she begs making me feel helpless there's nothing I can do. I wish I could but there is nothing I can do but trust that God is going to keep her healthy after everything she has been through. Life isn't fair, it's not fair at all to see your child get sick like this, see them in pain and not be able to help them. It is the toughest pain a mother will face in their life and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

"I know, Baby," I say. "I know, let's just trust God and hope that he will make all your tests come back clear," I say just as there is a knock on the door. I think it's Dr. Anderson and I say, "come in!" I look at the door as it opens and a smile comes to my face as I see Joe walking into the room with a pink stuffed unicorn in his arms, a bouquet of flowers and a Get Well soon balloon. "Joe," I say.

"Madden," he says as I stand up. "I took the earliest flight out of Tampa that I could. I wanted to come see Amari."

"You didn't have to do that," I say.

"I wanted to," he says before he greets me with a soft kiss. "These are for you," he says handing me the bouquet of mixed flowers, "and Amari, this is for you," he says with a smile.

"JOE!" she says with excitement. "I love it!"

"I figured that you would," he says with a smile. He lays the unicorn down next to her and puts the balloon next to her bed. Amari cuddles up with the unicorn making me smile. "So what exactly happened?"

"She was feeling pain in her leg," I say, "and it got so bad that she couldn't walk. I brought her here. I gave them a medical history, they did an x-ray and then called in Dr. Anderson, he ordered tests for her so she had to give a sample of her bone marrow, blood test and urinalysis. We are still waiting on the results."

"I see," he says. "I'm sure everything is going to be okay," he says as he wraps his arm around me. "Let's just be positive," he says but I know by looking at him he understands my fear. He had leukemia at one time in his life, he knows that when other tests are ordered that it's not a good sign. I am glad for his positivity but we both know that it's not good that Dr. Anderson was called in and that extra tests were needed for leg pain. "It's going to be okay," he says kissing the top of my head.

"I'm going to give you three some time alone," says Kenz, "Madden, I'll be back okay?"

"Okay," I say as I take a seat, Joe takes Kenz's seat just as she leaves the room leaving the three of us alone. "I am glad you came."

"I wasn't going to leave you to face this alone," he says, "if the results turn out to be cancer we are all going to get through this. I will do whatever I need to do. I will donate more bone marrow, I will start fundraisers whatever you need, whatever I need to do I will do," he says making my tears fall again. I don't know how I got so lucky to have this man in my life and he is definitely an angel that was sent to us when he donated his bone marrow the first time and the second time for my baby girl. I am grateful for his concern for Amari and his willingness to help.

Before I can even stop myself the words come out of my mouth, "I love you, Joe."

"Madden," he says wrapping me up in his arms. "I love you too." He kisses my lips softly and I kiss him back, melting to his touch and his taste. I bring my hand up and cup his cheek as he kisses me deep, his fingertips flexed on my cheeks. "I love you so much," he says looking at me with his dark brown eyes. I kiss him again, this time deeper and slower as our tongues flick together, the velvet touch of his tongue against mine. I couldn't control it I do love this man maybe not as much as I loved Wyatt but it's pretty close. I didn't think my heart could belong to another man but it does.

"Joe, I have to tell you something," I say making sure that Amari is back asleep from the pain medicine. I see her cuddling her unicorn sound asleep.

"You can tell me anything," he says, "what's up?"

"Well, you know how we haven't exactly been careful when it comes to prevent pregnancy? You know how we pretty much just do whatever happens happens type of thing?"

"Yeah," he says.

"My period is late and I have been sick. I think I might be pregnant," I say.

"Um, wow, so you don't know for sure?" he asks.

"I have been too scared to take a test," I say. "So I don't really know but I don't usually run late with my period."

"Okay," he says. "We will figure this out. If you're pregnant then you're pregnant. We'll work it out. I know that I won't be going anywhere. We will raise this baby together."

"We don't even know if I am pregnant," I say, "it could just be stress."

"Well, you can take a test and then we'll find out," he says.

"I guess that's true. How would it even work with Amari maybe being sick again and you living down in Florida, how would that work?"

"We would figure out a way to make it work," he says. "I could stay up here while Mari gets her treatments and then once she goes into remission again if she is sick we could then move to Florida that's if you would want to move to Florida. I am not opposed to moving up here. Whatever is best for you," he says.

"We will talk about it when the time comes," I say before there's a knock on the door. "Come in," I call out. I stand on my feet with Joe as Dr. Anderson walks into Amari's hospital room. "Dr. Anderson," I say, "tell me that it's not cancer again."

"Maybe you should sit down," he says, his tone grave. I take a seat on the chair as Joe sits down next to me taking my hand into his to give me comfort. "There is no easy way to say this," he says, "Amari's white blood cell count is extremely low which means her body is attacking the white blood cells being produced from her bone marrow transplant it is also a sign that the cancer is back in her system so we wanted to do further testing. Her HVA and VMA were found in her urine during the urine test and the levels were higher than they should be."

"What are you saying?" I ask with tears in my eyes.

"The cancer is back and it is spreading wildly through her body. It is in her bones which is the reason she is having trouble walking with that one leg. We found a Neuroblastoma near the end of her spinal cord pushing against it slightly and another inside her leg. The neuroblastoma by her spinal cord is going to need to be removed before it paralyzes her completely and as for the leg we are going to do our best to remove it from her leg but with the cancer spreading as fast as it is and infecting her bones it is possible her leg may be amputated to help stop the spread of the cancer."

"So the cancer is spreading through her body? What happened? I thought everything looked good after the second bone marrow transplant, what happened so fast?" I ask with confusion.

"Like I said her body started to attack the new cells the bone marrow was producing and while that was happening neuroblastomas were forming in her body and the cancer was infecting her bone marrow causing the bone marrow to be filled with cancerous cells."

"I don't believe this, I thought we were just finally going to get our lives together and now you're telling me that she has cancer again?" I ask trying to hold it together, Joe wraps his arm around my shoulder holding me close.

"Yes, the neuroblastoma is back," he says, "I'm so sorry, Madden. I thought we had it under control and then it slipped back in. I'm so sorry."

"So what's the plan?" I ask focusing on the next step of the diagnosis, the action. We have to have a plan in place to get her back in remission.

"Well, I want to get her into surgery tomorrow morning to get the neuroblastoma removed from her spinal cord and try to remove the neuroblastoma from her leg if not it's going to need to be amputated then we are looking at chemotherapy again to kill the cancer cells in her bone marrow and then she will probably need another bone marrow transplant," he says. "I know this is looking like a long road but we are going to take baby steps starting with the removal of the neuroblastomas in her body. Then we will start the chemotherapy again."

"Chemo again," I say shaking my head. "Will my daughter ever have a normal life or will she spend the rest of her life in a hospital bed fighting a disease that's taking over her body?"

"We are going to do the best that we can," says Dr. Anderson.

"And if the chemo doesn't work and doesn't kill the cancer then what, where does that leave us? How much time are you giving her to live?" I ask not worrying about being optimistic this is a real possibility.

"If the chemo doesn't work we're not looking at more than 9 months," he says.

"So 9 months?" I ask. "My baby could lose her battle to cancer in 9 months?" I ask with tears streaming from my eyes. "She has a whole life ahead of her."

"And that's why we are going to do everything in our power to make sure we kill all the cancer cells," he says.

"We did that and within months the cancer was back, what if it comes back and keeps coming back then what?" I ask.

"We just pray that it doesn't come back, we just hope that it doesn't come back. Right now we need to focus on the surgery and possible amputation," he says, "the rest we will worry about later."

"Okay," I say, "so surgery tomorrow morning? Will this affect her ability to walk or to feel anything?" I ask with concern.

"She will not be paralyzed the neuroblastoma is not in a position to paralyze her just yet but I am more concerned with her leg because it's in a position where we may not be able to maneuver it out which would cause an amputation."

"I am going to be sick," I say as I stand up and hurry to the bathroom. It's hard to believe we are back here again. I thought this part of our lives was over, I thought we would never have to come back to having chemo treatments, having surgeries now he's talking about amputating my daughter's leg at 6 years old! It's all unreal. I feel like I am in a time warp, a never ending nightmare and on top of it I am possibly pregnant. "I'm sorry," I apologize as I come back into the room. "So surgery tomorrow morning?"

"First thing in the morning," he says. "I'm really sorry that you have to go through this again but Amari is a fighter and she's going to beat this."

"I hope so," I say. "Thank-you."

"I will see you in the morning," he says, "allow Amari to get the rest that she needs. You should also get some rest," he says, "you're not looking very good."

"I will," I say. He leaves the room leaving Joe and I alone. I break down as soon as Dr. Anderson steps outside of the room. Joe holds me in his arms and comforts me as I cry on his shoulder till I can't cry anymore.

Later that night after I get some of my emotions in check I stand in the hospital bathroom holding the pregnancy test that Joe picked up for me before he got us some dinner. I look at the box taking a deep breath. I open the box and remove the test from the wrapper. I sit down on the toilet and start to pee before putting the test strip into the stream of urine. I pull it out and put a cap on it. I place it on the sink as I finish up. I wait a minute or two before I pick up the test after washing my hands. Two pink lines are on the test and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Joe," I say, "you might want to see this."

He comes into the bathroom and says, "what's the verdict?"

"We're having a baby," I say handing him the positive test.

 ***A/N: What did you think? What do you think about Amari's diagnosis, her surgery and her possibly needing to get her leg amputated? What did you think about Dr. Anderson giving her 9 months to live? Do you think Amari can make it through? What about Madden telling Joe that she loves him and Joe telling her that he loves her? What do you think about their news? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	14. I Support You

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

"You're pregnant," Joe says, "we're having a baby?" he asks as he looks down at the test. I nod and he wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head. "I'm going to be a dad!" he says happily before wrapping me up in his arms, I wrap my arms around him, holding tightly to him loving his joy that I don't feel. I can't feel joy after getting news that my 6 year old is about to undergo surgery in the morning and has to go through chemotherapy again. I'm not unhappy about it it's just not the best time to be pregnant. I instantly feel regret for not being more careful. We both knew what would happen or what could happen without protection but we took that risk. I am worried about all the stress I am going to put on the baby and knowing now is not the best time to have a baby. He kisses my lips softly and appreciatively and I kiss him back, my tears falling between our lips, I can taste the salt from my tears as he breaks the kiss. "Madden," he says with his hands on my shoulders looking at me in my tear filled blue eyes. He takes the pad of his thumb over my cheek wiping away some of my tears. "You're not happy?"

I shake my head, "it's not that I'm not happy, Joe. It's not the time for us to be having a baby. I can't worry about this," I say pointing to my stomach, "and worry about if my 6 year old is going to live or die, watch my 6 year old fight another cancer battle. Joe this isn't the time to have a baby," I say with tears streaming from my eyes. "I'm sorry," I say before he pulls me into his arms. My legs fall and weaken beneath me as I melt into him. The sobs escape me as we melt to the bathroom floor together.

Joe holds me tight as I cry and sob on his shoulder, my chest hurting, my throat hurting feeling constricted. I hold him tight, loving the comfort of his body around mine as I cry. He kisses the top of my head and I hear him whisper, "we'll figure this out. I'm going to support whatever decision you want to make," he says with sacrifice in his voice. "We can focus on Amari and another time will come for a baby," he says. I hate the idea of him sacrificing something he wants so much, he is so happy about being a father. I don't want to take that from him. "Just tell me what you want to do, Madden. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I've got you," he says holding me tight, "I've got you." I hold him tighter and sob harder my heart breaking at the choices I have to make. "I love you, Baby girl," he says. I kiss his shoulder in response. He holds me for I don't know how long while I cry, cry myself to sleep.

"Mommy," I hear Amari's voice as the sun shines in through the window. I open my eyes and realize I am sleeping in the cushioned chair covered in a blanket. "Mommy," she says again as she looks at me with her dark brown eyes. I see Joe is no longer at the hospital or in the room.

"Yes, Amari," I say as I stand up and walk over to her bed.

"I'm thirsty," she says, "and my leg hurts."

"I'll get you some water," I say with a soft smile.

"Where's Joe?" she asks as I am pouring her a glass of water.

"I'm not sure," I say as I hand her a cup. "Do you like the unicorn?"

"Yeah," she says taking a sip of her water. "Are you having a baby?" she asks.

"We need to talk, Mari," I say ignoring her question. I don't want to focus on the baby right now I want to focus on Mari and let her know what's going on since she will be going into surgery soon.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"The test results came back to all your tests," I say solemnly trying to hold myself together. I don't want to break down in front of her and make this worse. She nods at me telling me to continue, "and they weren't good," I say.

"I'm sick again?" she asks.

"I'm sorry, but the cancer is back," I say with tears in my eyes. "They found neuroblastomas near your spinal cord, in your bone marrow and in your leg," I say. It never gets easier having to tell your daughter that she has cancer. I am not telling her that they are giving her 9 months to live if the chemo doesn't work. It's one step at a time, this first step is getting the surgery to remove the cancer from her bones.

"Mommy, No!" she cries out. "I don't want to be sick again, no, Mommy no!" she breaks down into tears causing me to do the same, my heart breaks for my 6 year old as she digests this news. I wrap my arms around her as we cry together, her tiny arms wrap around me.

"WE are going to fight this, Mari, I don't want you to worry," I say. I kiss the top of her head. "I love you so much, Mari."

"I love you too, Mommy," she says through her sobs. "Why did I get sick again?"

"I don't know, Mari. I wish I had the answer to that but I don't. I have no idea why you got sick again. I wish I knew but I don't," I say wishing I knew why this was happening to her again. I can't help but be a little upset with God for allowing this to happen again. Why is God letting my baby suffer again? I don't understand it's not fair. "But you're going to get surgery this morning to remove the neuroblastomas from by your spinal cord and they are going to try to get it out of your leg if they can't," I say trying to hold back the sob I want to release, "if they can't they are going to need to amputate your leg." I can't control it anymore and the sob escapes me.

"I am going to lose my leg?" she asks with concern.

"Hopefully not but it's a possibility," I say, "and I am so sorry."

"How can I be a ballerina without my leg, how can I walk, how can I live without a leg, Mommy?" she asks.

"You'll get a fake leg," I say, "and we'll make sure you go to the best ballet school that you can so you can be a ballerina."

"Mommy, I don't want to lose my leg and I don't want to be sick," she says.

"I know, Baby," I say hugging her tight. "I know, Baby."

About 30 minutes later Joe comes back to the hospital room with a bag in one hand and a cup holder with coffee in the other. He looks like he's slept, showered and changed. "Good morning, Beautiful," he says to me with a smile greeting me with a soft kiss on the lips.

"Good morning, Baby," I say with a smile. "I was wondering where you went."

"I went to my hotel to sleep and shower then I went to your house to get you some clothes and then I stopped to get you some breakfast and hot chocolate," he says.

I smile and kiss his lips softly. "I appreciate it. Thank-you," I say as I take the hot beverages from him. "Nice touch on not getting me coffee," I smile.

"Eh, I try," he smiles making me smile. "Good morning, Ms. Amari, how are you?"

"I don't know," she says. "I'm going to get surgery soon."

"I heard," he says.

"And I am sick again," she says sadly.

"I heard that too," he says, "but you're a fighter, Mari. You're the strongest 6 year old I know. You got this fight in the bag. You can do this, you're a warrior." He makes me smile by encouraging her.

"I love you, Joe," she says.

"I love you too," he says before giving her a kiss on her forehead.

"Mommy, can we pray before my surgery?" she asks.

"Of course," I say, "of course we can pray." I ignore my anger and frustration with God to honor her request to pray. Joe and I gather around Amari, Joe and I take hands with each other and then take hands with Amari. "Dear God," I say with tears in my eyes. "I don't know why we are facing this battle again but I am going to trust you and believe you have a plan for Amari whatever that may be. I just pray that during her surgery you keep her safe, keep your hands on her and wrap her in your love so that everything goes smoothly. I pray that all the cancer is removed from her body and pray that your will is done as it should be when it comes to her leg. I pray that you bring her through this and you remain with her through her surgery. In Jesus' name Amen," I say opening my eyes and wiping tears from my eyes.

"Thank-you," she says with a soft smile. "Daddy will be with me," she says making me want to cry more. I know that Wyatt will be there with her but sometimes I wish that he was actually still here with us.

"Daddy will be with you," says Joe with a smile. "What's one thing you want after you have your surgery?" he asks.

"Pizza!" she says, "I want pizza with pepperoni on it," she says.

"Okay," he nods, "I think I can make that happen." I smile at him and mouth thank-you.

Dr. Anderson comes into the room, "how's my favorite patient?" he asks.

"I'm okay. Joe is going to get me pepperoni pizza after my surgery," she says.

"I'm jealous," he says with a smile.

"You can have some too, Dr. Anderson," she says. "I'll share."

He smiles and says, "that's very nice of you but my wife made a really good dinner last night and I brought in leftovers for lunch. I think that's what I am having."

"Okay," she says, "but the pizza will be here."

"I will think about it," he says with a smile, "so are you ready to go?"

"I guess," she says.

"We are just going to go in and remove the cancer," he says.

"Are you going to cut my leg off?" she asks.

"That's a last resort," he says, "but if we can't clear the cancer out of where it is located it's a possibility but we will worry about that if it happens okay, Amari?"

"Okay," she says, "can my unicorn come to surgery with me?"

"I'm afraid not," he says, "it's too big."

"Okay," she says with disappointment.

"I'll tell you what," says Dr. Anderson, "we'll get, what's your unicorn's name?"

"Sparkles," she says with a smile.

"Well, we'll get Sparkles scrubbed up and he can watch the surgery from the window and then when you're all done he can joy you in recovery, how does that sound?"

"Good," she smiles.

"All right," says Dr. Anderson, "let's get this cancer out of you," he says.

They wheel her through the hallways of the hospital, Joe and I walk with them but we are separated when they go through the double doors we both give her a hug and a kiss before she is taken off for her surgery. Joe and I take a seat in the waiting room where I can eat my breakfast and drink my hot chocolate that is now chilled. I know Joe and I have a lot to talk about and decisions to make. "So a baby?" he asks.

"Yes a baby," I say taking a bite of my breakfast sandwich.

"So what's the game plan? I am here to support whatever decision you want to make," he says taking my hand into his, "but I do want to have this baby with you, Madden. I know given the timing it's probably not the best but I do want to have this baby with you but I will go along with whatever decision you make. There will be other babies," he says. "If you want to abort this baby and focus on Amari I.."

I stop him and interrupt him, "Joe, I am not going to abort this baby. I want to have this baby with you too. We're keeping the baby the timing isn't great but we'll make it work if we didn't want to have a baby we probably should have used some type of protection and we didn't so now we're pregnant and we're having a baby." I can't help but to smile when I see the smile on his face. He leans down and kisses my lips softly.

"Madden, I love you."

"I love you too," I say, "so I'm pregnant," I say, "I need to schedule an appointment to see a doctor to get a due date and make sure it's okay. I'm nervous but God is giving us this baby for a reason."

"I agree," he says with a smile. "I'm going to move up here," he says.

"You're moving up here?" I ask. "I thought you liked Florida?"

"I love Florida but my pregnant girlfriend lives in Philadelphia and with Amari being sick again and needing chemotherapy it's better if we stay here. I like Dr. Anderson and I like the bond that they have. I don't want to take her away from him or this hospital," he says.

"That sounds like a plan to me," I smile.

"And you need to be around your family," he says, "I know Kenzie is the only family you really have and I think you need to be around her."

"Yeah," I say with a smile. "Are you happy?"

"Ecstatic," he says, "I have wanted to be a father for a while now but it was just never in my cards until I met you. I can't wait," he says placing his hand on my stomach making me smile, "We got this, Madden."

"Yes we do," I smile placing my hand over top of his. "You know we can't move a baby into my sister's house it's already too full."

"I know that's why we're going to look at houses in a few days," he says. "I've been looking at a few online there are a couple that I think you'll like."

"I can't wait to see them," I smile. "This is going to be tough being pregnant and wishing, hoping and being happy to welcome a healthy baby into this world and then watching my 6 year old fight cancer. I don't know if I can do it again, Joe."

"I know it's hard but everything is going to work out the way it should."

"I hope so," I say as I move closer to him as he wraps his arm around my shoulder and keeping a hand resting on my stomach. He kisses my temple for comfort as I continue to eat my breakfast as we wait for the surgery to be over.

We wait for what seems like hours before the doctor comes out to tell us that the surgery is over. "Madden," calls Dr. Anderson. I stand up right away and make my way over to him with Joe beside me. "Well, she is out of surgery," he begins, "and the cancer near her spinal cord has been removed. We got to her leg and found there was more cancer than we could remove based on its location so we tried but were not successful at removing it so we had to amputate her leg," he says and I feel my knees weaken. Joe catches me. "I'm sorry," he says, "we did what we could do."

"I know," I say with tears in my eyes. "So what's the next step?"

"The next step is within a week or two I want to start her on chemotherapy. We will do what we did last time. We will do a round bi-weekly and we will get her fitted for a prosthetic leg and she will have to go through some therapy to learn how to live life without a leg and then to practice with the prosthetic," he says.

"How many rounds of chemo are we talking about?" I ask.

"I don't know yet, right now I would say about 4 rounds of chemo but if the cells don't die we will probably do more. She will also need another bone marrow transplant," he says.

"I am more than willing to donate bone marrow," says Joe.

"I am pregnant," I say, "would this baby be any help to her?" I ask.

"When are you due?" he asks.

"I don't know we just found out last night but if I had to guess I would say early fall."

"I mean that baby could very well be a match to Amari but we would have to wait and see."

I nod, "is she okay?"

"She's in recovery now, when she wakes up you can see her."

"Thank-you," I say before he walks away. "Joe, I can't do this." I shake my head, "I can't." He wraps me up in his arms to comfort me. I cry on his shoulder as he rubs my back.

 ***A/N: I'm sorry this chapter was short but it was a hard chapter for me to write. I already have the next chapter in mind. So what did you think? What did you think of Joe's sacrifice telling Madden to abort the baby to focus on Mari even though he really wants to be a father? Did you think she was going to abort the baby? Are you happy with her choice? Do you think the baby could save Amari's life? What do you think of Joe moving to Philadelphia to be with Madden? What do you think of his support for Amari and Madden? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	15. Happiness Deserved

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

It's been a tough couple days for Amari and me, Amari especially when she woke up from her surgery the first question she asked was if she lost her leg and we had to tell her the truth. We had to tell her they couldn't remove the cancer from her leg so the only thing the doctor could do was remove her leg. Her entire face dropped and she broke down breaking my heart. For hours she cried how she will never be able to be the ballerina she wants to be when she grows up or how she will never be able to take a ballet class without a leg. I promised her we would do everything we could to make sure her dreams come true but she hasn't wanted to hear any of it, her next question was is the cancer gone and we told her it was still present in her bone marrow but she will be going through chemo again she cried some more. It never gets easier to see your child in that position. To know that she's sick and there's nothing you can do to stop her illness. Joe, Mari, Dr. Anderson and me did enjoy a pepperoni pizza party after she finally cried all the tears she could. We held to our promise and she enjoyed that part of the day.

It's been a couple days since Amari was discharged from the hospital and we are just trying to keep her comfortable before she starts her chemotherapy again. I hate the idea of her getting chemotherapy it made her so much sicker last time and then she lost all her beautiful hair. I'm not ready to see her go through it again and Dr. Anderson has told us that it is going to be more aggressive this time around than it was the last time. "You doing okay?" Joe asks me as we are sitting in the doctor's office waiting room. We have to see the doctor about my pregnancy, I have to take care of myself too and take care of our unborn child.

"It just never gets easier," I say taking his hand into mine, interlocking our fingers. "I wish it was different."

"Me too," he says kissing my hand softly. "Let's just be positive and hope that everything turns out for the best."

"I know but it's getting there that has me worried. You heard Dr. Anderson this is the most aggressive form of chemo that she can do. That's really going to be hell for her and she doesn't deserve this. She deserves to have a normal childhood."

"Once the cancer is gone she will have a normal childhood," he says. "And she's going to have a beautiful home to live in too."

"Yeah," I say with a smile thinking of the home in West Chester just outside of Philadelphia that we will be moving into in a few weeks. We went to look at the house a couple days ago and it was beautiful in a beautiful suburban neighborhood sitting in a cul-d-sac. I fell in love with it so we put an offer on the house and it was accepted and now we have a house together. "You know what she would love?" I ask.

"What's that?" he asks.

"A puppy," I say, "she's been asking for a puppy for a while and living with Kenz I could never really get her one. I think a puppy would cheer her up."

"We can go to the pet store and look at the dogs there and see what they have when we are done with this appointment," he says.

"All right," I say with a smile. "I love you, Joe and I am so grateful for you."

"I love you too," he smiles before he leans over and kisses my lips softly.

"Madden," says the nurse as she comes out of the door to the back. I smile and stand up with Joe. We walk hand in hand to the nurse. "How are you today?" she asks with a smile.

"Good," I smile back.

She takes us to the back and has me step up on the scale to see that I am 142 pounds before she has me pee in a cup so they can confirm the pregnancy. She directs us to the room I will see the doctor in. "Madden, I am just going to ask you a few questions and then check your blood pressure, okay?" she asks.

"That's fine," I say as Joe and I sit in the chairs.

"So when would you say your last period was?" she asks.

"February 1st," I say.

"Was it a normal period?" she asks.

"Yes," I say.

"All right," she makes note, "and what have been your symptoms?"

"Just feeling off, nauseous, very nauseous, I thought maybe it was stress but I took a pregnancy test and it came out that I was pregnant," I say.

"Okay," she says making note again. "Do you smoke or drink?"

"I don't smoke but I drink occasionally," I say.

"Any drug use?" she asks.

"No drugs," I answer.

"Very good, is there a history of diabetes in your family?"

"No," I say.

"Any heart conditions?"

"No," I say.

"High blood pressure?" she asks.

"No," I say.

"Okay," she says. "I'm just going to check your blood pressure and then the doctor will be in to see you." I nod before she comes over to me with the blood pressure cuff. She places it on my arm and then puts the pulse reader on my finger. I wince as the cuff squeezes my arm tightly to get the reading, I wait a few seconds till it loosens giving off a reading, "135/85, that's a little elevated," she says. "We are going to need to keep an eye on that."

"Okay," I say.

"Dr. Samuels will be in shortly," she says.

"Thank-you," I say with a smile before she leaves the room.

"Do you think we will get an ultrasound today?" asks Joe.

"I don't know, maybe," I say, "but usually at these appointments it's just a confirmation of pregnancy and then a few weeks later they do the ultrasound to get an accurate reading on the baby and to determine a more accurate due date."

"I see," he nods. "So if it is confirmed that you're pregnant we are definitely keeping the baby?"

"Yes," I say, "I know this isn't the best time to be pregnant but it happened and I don't think I could ever have an abortion. This baby deserves a life too, deserves a chance at life. We'll get through this and figure this out."

"Okay," he says, "I just want to make sure that you're sure with our decision to keep it. I will support you and any decision you make."

"I know, Baby, but I want to keep the baby," I say.

"Me too," he says with a soft smile.

Dr. Samuels comes into the room and introduces himself to Joe and me. "Madden, we got the results back of your pregnancy test and you are indeed pregnant," he says. "Congratulations."

"Thank-you," I say with a smile.

"So we are going to do some blood work today to check for some diseases, to check your levels. I am however a little concerned with your blood pressure, it's not exceptionally high but it is elevated," he says, "are you under any stress at the moment?" he asks.

"Well, my 6 year old daughter has been fighting cancer for a year, she went into remission and now it's back and she just had her leg amputated facing chemotherapy again and hospital stays and then you throw in an unplanned pregnancy it's a little stressful."

"I see, I'm sorry about your daughter, I can see how that would be a stressful situation. Normally I would tell you to stay out of stressful situations but I don't think I could stay out of stressful situations in your case so I am going to prescribe some blood pressure medicine to take to keep your blood pressure down."

"Okay," I say.

"And you said that you had your last period February 1st?" he asks.

"Yes," I say.

"All right," he says, "It looks like you are due November 7th," he says.

"Okay," I say. "November 7th?" I ask with tears in my eyes.

"What's the matter?" asks Joe.

"November 7th was Wyatt's birthday," I say, "and November 6th is Amari's birthday," I say with tears in my eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry," says Joe as he comforts me, "it's a special day." I nod in agreement if I never thought this baby was meant to be I sure do now.

Dr. Samuels gives me a prescription for blood pressure medicine and for prenatal vitamins, he also makes sure I have brochures about pregnancy and then has the nurse perform some blood tests on me to make sure I am healthy. I will have the results in a few days. He also sets up an ultrasound appointment for us in about two weeks because according to his calculations I am 6 weeks along. I'm a little excited about having a baby with Joe, not the best time but it's still a blessing in a dark time.

Joe and I walk into the mall hand in hand. "So we're actually having a baby," he says with pride.

"We're actually having a baby," I smile. "You seem so excited."

"I am, I have wanted a baby for a while but God hadn't blessed me with one. Kate and I wanted a baby so bad but it never got to happen for us."

"I'm sorry," I say. "Wyatt and I had planned to have another baby when he came back from the Middle East after his tour of duty but he never made it back."

"I'm sorry," he says kissing the top of my head. "I know the feeling, planning your life with someone and then finding out that forever doesn't last. It's heartbreaking and you never get to live out that life you planned. Too many people think tomorrow is going to happen but sometimes it doesn't happen. Every minute, every moment in this life counts."

"I agree," I say with a smile. "I am learning that more and more every day," I say.

"I know, Baby," he says as we walk into a book store.

"I thought we were going to the pet store?" I ask.

"We will but I wanted to stop in here first to pick up some books," he says.

"Okay," I say and a smile comes across my face as he leads me to the section of books about pregnancy and babies. "Baby books?" I ask.

"Yes," he says, "I think it's a good idea to read up on pregnancy."

"I love you," I say with a smile.

"I love you too," he says with a smile, "so what do you think of a What to Expect when you're expecting book, it has a journal?"

"I like it," I say as he grabs it off the shelf.

"And I like this book," he says grabbing a book about being an expectant dad. "I'm just trying to make your pregnancy as smooth as I can for you. I know it's going to be tough but I think we can keep this a calm pregnancy for you."

"I hope so," I say, "what about a baby name book? I mean I am a little untraditional when it comes to baby names," I say.

"I noticed," he says with a smile, "but I like the name Gatsby and I like the name Amari I think they are both beautiful names."

"Thank-you," I say with a smile. "Do you want a girl or a boy?"

"A boy would be nice but I would be happy with a little girl, just as long as the baby is healthy that's all that matters."

"That is the most important thing, I am going to have the doctor do a test to make sure the baby doesn't have Neuroblastoma as well. They can do that."

"I hope it doesn't but I think the test is a good idea," he says, "what about you, do you want a boy or a girl?"

"Since I have two girls a little boy in the house would be nice but I'm just settling for a healthy baby."

"Me too," he says as we go to pay for our books.

After the bookstore we go to the pet store to look at the puppies because I really feel like Amari deserves to have a puppy. She's going through a lot right now so I think she needs a friend to help her through her tough time. We walk to the cages they are keeping the dogs and start to look around. "Look at that dog," I say to Joe, "isn't it adorable?"

"It is," he says with a smile. "It looks like a yellow lab or Golden Retriever but I think it's more like a yellow lab."

"I think so too," I say, "Amari would love it."

"I think Amari would love any dog that we get her," he says.

"That's true," I agree. "Excuse me," I say to the sales person, "can we please see that dog?"

"Of course," she says with a smile. She walks to get us the dog and brings it out to us, "this is Sam," she says. "Sam is a 10 week old yellow lab puppy. She's updated on all her shots and updated on everything else."

"She's a pretty dog," I say with a smile as she hands her to me, the dog excitedly licks my face making me smile. "And friendly, is she good with kids?"

"Yes," she says, "she is wonderful with kids."

"That's good to know, how much is the adoption fee?" I ask.

"$600," she says.

"Okay," I say, "that's a little out of my price range," I say handing the puppy back to her.

"No," says Joe, "I can handle it."

"No, Baby," I say, "you don't have to do that."

"Yes, I'm going to do it, we want to adopt the dog," he says.

"Wonderful," she says, "we'll just need you to fill out some paper work but she won't be available to leave for a couple weeks."

"That's fine," he says. She goes to put the dog away, "Amari deserves this, Madden she deserves a little bit of happiness and we're going to give her that little bit of happiness." And I never loved him more.

 ***A/N: What did you think? I am sorry it was a little shorter than usual but I promise the next chapter will be a little longer. What do you think about them getting a house and buying Amari a puppy? What do you think of the baby being due on Wyatt's birthday? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	16. Good Days and Bad Days

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you so much***

 **TWO WEEKS LATER:**

It's been a couple weeks since Amari had her surgery to remove the cancerous cells from her body and also a couple weeks since her leg was amputated. It hasn't been easy for her at all, it's been quite tough for her knowing that she lost her leg and knowing that she is getting ready to begin Chemo again. I have been through Chemo and I know the toll it can take on a body, I was in my 20's when I had leukemia a lot older and a lot bigger than Amari is at 6 years old and chemo really tore my body apart I can't even imagine what it will do to little Amari. I would trade places with her if I could, I would take her pain, her sadness away if I could. I hate seeing her like this, sad and depressed over the future, over the thought of chemotherapy. Madden on the other hand has been hit with morning sickness so badly some days she can't even get out of bed in the morning. I have been staying with them in Philadelphia to help out the best that I can, to help them pack up to move to our new house and when I am out on the road Kenzie helps out. It's been a rough couple weeks.

"Are you ready to go?" I ask Amari as I walk into her bedroom.

"I guess," she says sadly looking out the window in her bedroom. "I know it doesn't matter if I am ready or not. Is mommy coming?"

"Yes she's coming," I say.

"Is she still sick?" she asks.

"Yes but she's getting better," I say knowing that as the day progresses Madden gets better it's just the worst in the morning time for her.

"Okay," she says looking out the window still. "Spring is coming," she announces. "You know how I know?"

"How?" I ask.

"The trees are green again and the grass is greener. I like the spring time. I wish I could enjoy it," she says.

"You'll be able to enjoy it," I say.

"With one leg I can't do anything," she says. "I can only just sit around. I can't play. I can't do anything."

"I'm sorry, Amari," I say apologetically feeling sorry for her, I can't imagine being 6 years old and not being able to enjoy a nice day outside, "but you know Dr. Anderson is going to have you fitted for a leg so that you can have a normal childhood."

"I will never have a normal childhood, I'll never be a ballerina either," she says. "It's okay, Joe. I know what life is going to be like."

"Amari," I say walking toward her. I pick her up and put her on my lap. "Let me tell you a story."

"Okay," she says.

"There was once a wrestler in WWE his name was Zach Gowen," I begin. "When he was a little boy he was diagnosed with cancer. I'm not sure what kind of cancer but I'm going to say it's probably similar to the cancer that you have, he was 8 years old when he had his leg amputated. I'm sure at 8 years old he felt the same way that you do, that he wouldn't be able to do anything, that he would never be able to live his dream but you know what?"

"What?" she asks curiously.

"He learned to live with one leg and he got an artificial leg to make his life easier. He wanted to be a wrestler and he finally got his chance to be a wrestler in the WWE. He even wrestled on one leg because it was easier for him to wrestle without the artificial leg. He was able to live his dream and he still wrestles not for WWE but on the independent circuit but losing his leg at 8 years old didn't change his dream and didn't make it unachievable did it make it harder? Of course but he worked harder and finally reached his dream. Just because it seems impossible now doesn't mean that it's impossible. Anything is possible as long as you believe. You can't give up on your dreams because of a setback in your life. Obstacles happen but it's how we overcome them that matters," I explain to her. "Do you believe you can be a ballerina?"

"I think so," she says.

"You think so?" I ask.

"Okay yes I know I can be a ballerina," she says with a smile. "I want to be a ballerina and I'm not going to stop working to become one. Thanks, Joe," she says giving me a hug.

"You're welcome," I say with a smile hugging her back.

"Joe, are you coming with me today?"

"Of course," I say with a smile. "I am going to be there today. I'm going to be there every step of the way," I say.

"When you had leukemia were you scared?" she asks.

I answer her honestly, "yes I was scared. I was 22 years old when I was diagnosed with leukemia. It was the scariest time of my life. I was just out of college and had my whole life ahead of me. I had my own dreams to be in the NFL and live out that dream but suddenly I was facing this nasty disease. I was very scared because usually when you hear the word cancer you automatically think the worst. You think of death right away and I did. I thought I was going to die from it. I was very scared. I didn't know what I was going to do with my life."

"It is scary," she agrees. "I'm scared," she says honestly. "I don't want to die but I know it's a possibility. I may be 6 but I'm smart. I know that getting cancer back like this isn't a good sign," she lets out a sigh. "It's scary."

"It's very scary," I nod, "but you're a fighter. You're going to fight this the hardest that you can. I believe in you, I believe that you're a warrior. I know it's hard to get past the diagnosis and the time you spend in the hospital but it gets better."

"I know," she says. "So what did you do?"

"I went to the doctor and like you I had to go through chemotherapy. I thought it was the worst thing in the world. It really took a toll on my body. It made me very sick, I lost some of my hair and it made me very tired. After every treatment I would just sleep all day for two days and by the time I started to feel better again, started to get my strength back it was time for another round of chemo and I was right back to where I was in my bed. The thing is you have your good days and you have your bad days. The days when I could get out of bed, walk around and eat were the good days but the bad days I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed but you have to live through the bad days to get to the good days that's how life is, the bad days make you appreciate the good days more. I got 3 rounds of chemo before I put it into remission. I was so grateful the day the doctor told me that I was in remission and all the cancerous cells were gone. I had to get a bone marrow transplant much like you because chemo destroyed my bone marrow luckily for me my brother was a match for me and he donated his bone marrow to me. That's why I chose to be a donor so that I could donate my bone marrow to help others. I had to wait 10 years to do it but I finally did it and it was the best thing I could have done in my life," I say kissing the top of her head.

"I'm glad you did too," she says with a smile. "I have bad days," she says.

"Yes, I know you do but remember we have to get through the bad days to get to the good days."

"Yes," she says. "Do you get scared that your leukemia could come back?" she asks.

"Sometimes," I say, "sometimes I am scared I'm going to start getting bruises that take too long to heal, get that cold that takes too long to go away, feeling so tired I can't make it through the day and get that ache in my bones, I'm scared every day that I am going to feel those things again and go to the doctor to find out I have leukemia again." She nods at my fear because she understands it. Not a lot of people understand the fear of never knowing if fate is going to deal you a bad hand again and you're going to be fighting for your life again never knowing if you'll make it or not, she's 6 years old and she understands it.

"I'm scared too," she says taking my hand looking at me with her dark brown eyes. "I'm scared that I'll go into remission again and it will keep coming back and I will never be healthy again. I'm scared that I won't win this time and that I will die. I don't want to die but I know it's possible. I hear Dr. Anderson when he talks." My heart breaks for her. "But that's part of having cancer sometimes you have those bad days that turn into even worse days, the days you're too weak to fight and sometimes you lose the fight." I can't even respond to her as my eyes blur over with tears. I hold her tight against me as she keeps going, "but I know if I don't win this fight that I am going to go to Heaven with Jesus and my daddy. I don't think my daddy wanted to die in the Middle East. I don't know how he died but I know he didn't want to and he didn't come home but I know that he knew he could die when he left. Just like I know that I could die and even though I am scared I know I will be healthy again and I won't feel any pain and I will be with my daddy and Jesus."

"Amari," says Madden and we both turn to look at her. I know she heard Amari's words because I can see the sadness on her face, see the tears forming in her eyes as she leans against the door post. "It's time to go get your chemo." Amari nods and I stand up to carry her to the car.

"You okay?" I ask Madden.

"I hate this for her. I will always hate this for her and the fact she knows and understands it breaks my heart," she says. "I wish life was different for her."

"It will be," I say, "we just have to get through this," I say and she nods.

When we get to the children's hospital before Amari begins her treatment Dr. Anderson has her fitted for her leg so they can get it made for her. I'm not sure how she's feeling about the fake leg but I know that she can't wait to be able to walk again maybe even run and hopefully dance again one day. "Are you ready?" Dr. Anderson asks her before she gets her treatment.

Amari shrugs and says, "I don't have a choice, Dr. Anderson, so I think that's rhetorical."

"You're such an intelligent young lady," he says with a smile.

"Thank-you," she says with a smile. "My mommy taught me everything I know."

"Your mommy is a smart woman," he says looking at Madden as I wrap my arm around her. We haven't told anyone about the baby yet especially Amari we aren't ready to but Kenzie figured it out but I know she hasn't said anything either. We decided to wait and hold off on telling the girls for a little bit. We want to focus on the beginning part of Amari's treatment and moving.

"We are moving, Dr. Anderson," says Amari.

"You're moving? Where are you moving to?" he asks.

"To a really big house in West Chester," she says happily. "I will get my own room and my mommy said that I can get it done in Unicorns and paint my walls with pink and have glitter splashed on them." I smile at her excitement.

"That sounds so pretty," he says.

"And I am going to have a fairy house for fairies," she says. "It's going to be the coolest!"

"That's amazing!" he says.

"And we are going to get a puppy when we move," she says. Madden and I look at each other because we didn't tell her about the puppy we have adopted for them.

"That's cool, Amari," he says with a warm smile. "Dogs can really help you feel better."

"I know," she says with a smile.

"Well, Amari, it's time," he announces, "you're going to be hooked up for about two hours. You know this chemo is more aggressive this time and you're probably going to feel it the next couple days. I don't want her to overdo it," he says to us. "She's probably going to experience nausea so keep her diet light for her. I wouldn't suggest a pizza party until the nausea goes away and she may experience some sores in her mouth. It's going to make her very tired and weak for a couple days. We want to kill these cancer cells and get them out of her body so that she can go into remission again. That's the plan."

"Okay," says Madden.

"So Amari, who did you bring with you today to sit with you while you get your treatment?" he asks.

"My baby unicorn Sprinkles," she says showing him with a smile. "And Joe is going to sit with me too."

"That's right I am," I say with a smile.

"That's wonderful," says Dr. Anderson.

"And after your treatment when we get home your mommy and me have a surprise for you and Gatsby," I say with a smile.

"I love surprises!" she says with a smile.

"I think you're going to love this one the most," says Madden with a smile. Amari claps her hands with excitement before she is prepped and set up for her treatment after having some blood drawn.

I sit with Amari for two hours while she has the chemo drugs injected into her body through an IV. Chemo can be done so many ways with a pill which isn't as aggressive or by injections. I think taking the pill is easier than sitting two hours having it injected through your vein but as I sit with her I remember my days of chemotherapy, the long wait to have it injected and pumped through my system. It doesn't matter what method the doctor uses what matters is the chemo does its job and kills off the cancer. I just hope for Amari to go into remission fast and easy without dragging this out. I hope that she can go on to live a full life but I know just like her the possibility of death is just as great as living in remission. Madden and I take Amari home after her treatment while she's resting and Madden is waiting for Gatsby to get home from school I go to pick the puppy up from the pet store along with a leash, some food, a food bowl, a water bowl and some toys for her to play with. I can't wait to surprise Amari and Gatsby with the dog.

I walk into the house carrying the tiny yellow lab under my arm before I announce that I am home. "We're in the living room," Madden calls out.

"Are the girls ready for their surprise?" I ask just outside the living room.

"Yes!" I hear Gatsby yell.

"I'm ready!" shouts Amari making me smile.

"Close your eyes," I say as the puppy wriggles in my arm.

"Okay," they say together.

"Are your eyes closed?" I ask.

"Yes," they say together making me smile.

I walk into the living room to see them sitting on the couch with Madden both with their hands covering their eyes. I smile at Madden as she smiles at me. "All right, girls open your eyes!" I say.

"Oh my gosh!" cries Gatsby.

"It's a puppy!" screams Amari. "It's so cute!" she says with a smile.

"Your mom and I thought since we are moving in the next couple of days to a brand new house we would get you both a puppy. We know how much you both have been wanting one so we just had to get you a puppy," I say placing it down between them on the couch.

"Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!" cries Gatsby.

"Thank-you," says Amari as the puppy jumps up licking her face making her giggle as Gatsby pets its soft yellow fir. "What's its name?" she asks.

"What do you think her name should be?" I ask smiling at her happiness.

"I think we should name her Lucky," suggests Gatsby.

"I like Lucky," says Madden.

"Me too," I say.

"Do you want your name to be Lucky?" asks Amari through her giggles as the puppy joyfully licks her face. "I think that means yes!"

I smile, "I think it does too, welcome to the family Lucky," I say. It feels great to see Amari smile and laugh after the last couple weeks I almost forgot what her giggles sounded like. I want nothing more but for her to be happy and enjoy life the best that she can. Madden smiles at me and I know she's thinking the same thing as me. We just want Amari to live her best life while she can when we have no idea what's going to happen. Madden mouths that she loves me and I mouth it back to her before we watch the girls with Lucky.

 ***A/N: What did you think? What did you think of Amari and Joe having a talk? What did you think about Joe telling her the story of Zach Gowen and his story as well? What about the advice he gave her? What do you think of Amari's outlook on her life and cancer? Do the girls need this puppy to bring some happiness into their lives? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	17. Skin Deep

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

 **Joe:**

"Joe, are you sure you want to do this?" asks my best friend Dean as we are sitting in a barber shop in Atlanta, Georgia before we head out to go home for a couple days. "Did you get permission from creative or from Vince or even Hunter before you made this decision?"

"I'm sure I want to do this," I say. "And no I didn't get permission from anyone they can either hate it or love it," I say, "but I am doing this for a special reason."

"They could punish you for doing something like this," he says. "Is it worth the punishment?"

"How much more can they punish me? I haven't been in the championship picture for over a year and fighting with Drew and Shane for the last few weeks," I say. "Besides it's just hair it will grow back. They didn't do anything when Corbin shaved his head. I am doing this for Amari. She's having a hard time dealing with the fact she's going to lose her hair again. It's really getting to her so I figured I would shave my head too and we would both be without hair," I say with a smile. I love my hair it's no secret to anyone, I spent a good few years growing it out, managing it in fact I am pretty obsessed with my hair care regime but I'm willing to shave it off for Amari so that she's not alone.

"I see, how is she doing?" he asks.

"Some days are tougher than others," I say honestly. "It's not like she doesn't understand what's going on. She knows that her cancer is pretty serious as it came back. She is trying to be strong but like I said some days are easier than others for her. She lost her leg in the process so that's been even harder for her, she's waiting for her prosthetic leg to come in. It's just rough watching her go through this she tries to stay positive but it's not easy sometimes. Her chemo makes her sick and it breaks my heart. I would trade places with her if I could but shaving my hair off is the least I can do for her."

"I'm sorry she's going through this. She doesn't deserve to go through this again."

"I know," I say, "but she's the strongest 6 year old I know she'll get healthy again. I know she will." I say with hope.

"Maybe you should talk to Hunter about doing something for her like they did for Connor," he suggests. "You know how WWE is about advocating for children's cancer. Maybe we can do some type of fundraiser for her."

"Maybe," I say.

"And you're going to have a baby," he says with a smile. "And you moved to Pennsylvania, so I would say your relationship with Madden is working out pretty good."

"It really is," I say with a smile. "And yes we are having a baby in November. It was definitely a surprise but I am excited about it and the house is beautiful. Everything with Madden is fantastic I truly love her and I never thought that I would ever love someone the way that I loved Kate but then I met Madden and all that changed. I love her so much, Dean."

"I can tell you've been happier since you met her and happier since you started your relationship. I have to say I was a little worried about it at first but you two seem to have it together if she makes you happy then I am all for it. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Especially after everything that happened with Kate you deserve to be happy and I am glad you found that happiness in Madden."

"Me too," I say, "thank-you, Dean."

"You're welcome, Man," he says before shaking my hand. I am called to the chair to do something I never thought I would do. I sit in the chair as the man washes my hair before he moves me to his station. He puts my long hair into a ponytail and cuts the top of the ponytail off. I watch as it falls to the ground beside me. I let out a breath as I see my short hair in the mirror and hear the clippers turn on. I watch as he takes them through my hair, shaving something that I love to my scalp. Tears fill my eyes as I see the final work, a completely shaven head. I haven't had my hair like this since I was in high school. I feel bittersweet about it, sad that I gave up something that means so much for me but happy I did something for Mari. I donate my hair to a foundation that makes wigs for children with cancer so my hair cut is not done in vain and so that I can make a difference in a child's life.

The next day I arrive home at our brand new house in West Chester, PA just outside of Philadelphia. I wish we could have moved to Florida but I didn't want to uproot Madden or the girls especially right now with Amari getting her treatment. The bond she has with Dr. Anderson is unbreakable but I didn't want to live in the city of Philadelphia either so we chose a nice little suburban neighborhood in West Chester where our home sits in the middle of a cul-de-sac. We just moved into the house a few days ago and there's still some work that needs to be done on it as far as decorating and getting things in order. I told Madden to wait until I got home before she tried to move any heavy furniture or heavy boxes with her being pregnant. I'll never forget the day we moved in and Amari saw her painted pink and purple ombre room with glitter splashed onto the walls with her name painted above her bed in a light blue glitter paint with unicorn decals throughout the room giving it the magical touch she has always dreamed of, the walls matching her pink and purple ombre bed set and the unicorn head below her name above her bed. Madden designed her a little fairy house to sit on a shelf in the room that lights up when the room goes dark. Amari fell in love with it, wrapped her arms around Madden and I telling us it was everything she ever dreamed of. It was a beautiful sight to see but Gatsby was just excited over having her own Paris themed bedroom with Paris theme sheets. It was good to make both the girls happy in a time that is so difficult for them.

The house itself is beautiful for our family, it is a beige color with a beautiful front yard that has a beautiful garden of bushes in front of the house, a two car garage and a white picket fence out front of the house. The inside is just as beautiful with a tiled kitchen floor, with a marble topped island sitting in the middle of the kitchen with a sink, marble counter tops throughout the kitchen with brand new wooden cabinets, stainless steel appliances along with a dining room used for special family dinners and holiday dinners, a hardwood living room floor, a family sitting room, playroom for the girls. The backyard surrounded by wooded area with a wooden patio for summer cookouts and an in-ground pool leaving enough room for a swingset for the girls and a little dog house for Lucky to stay in. The upstairs home to 4 bedrooms; two that belong to the girls, one guest room and one for the baby when it arrives along with a nice master bedroom for Madden and me. I bought the house without consulting with Madden first but I knew she would love it and the first time she saw it she was in love with it.

I get out of my car that's parked next to Madden's before I walk into the door that takes me to the kitchen. I am greeted immediately by Lucky as she comes running to me at the door, with her tail wagging and her soft tiny bark. I kneel down and rub her soft fur. "Hey, Lucky," I say with a smile as she rolls onto her back for me to scratch her tummy. I smile as I scratch it for her.

A few seconds later Madden comes into the room dressed in a pair of black leggings and a white t-shirt with her hair pulled up into a ponytail. "Joe, you're.." she stops when she catches sight of me. I look up at her and make eye contact with her as I see the tears in her eyes. "Joe, you didn't," she says.

I stand up in front of her with a smile on my face, "I did," I say. "I really did."

"That's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," she says with tears streaming from her eyes. "But you love your hair," she says.

I smile and say, "but I love Amari more. I did this for her," I say as Madden moves closer to me, placing her hand on my head. She takes her tiny hand over my head rubbing the peach fuzz that's left. "What do you think?" I ask her looking into her beautiful blue eyes.

"I think I love you more than I ever did before," she says with tears. I wrap her up in a tight hug and place my lips on hers, kissing her soft and deep as I taste the salt of her tears. "Joe, I love you," she says again.

"I love you too, Madden," I say with a smile before kissing her again.

"You really didn't need to do this," she says as she pulls away. "I mean I know how much your hair means to you. You didn't have to do this."

"I didn't have to you're right but I wanted to do this," I say with a smile. "I told Amari I would be by her side every step of the way and I am. I wanted to do this for her so that she wasn't alone when she had to get her hair shaved again. I know how hard it was for her and I don't want her to be alone. I did it because I love her so much."

"Joe, I don't even know what to say," she says with a soft smile. "I am speechless."

"Baby," I say with a smile, "you don't have to say anything."

"I'm sure that a lot of your female fans are going to be upset that you shaved your precious hair off."

"It's just hair it will grow back," I shrug. "How has Amari been doing since I've been on the road?"

"She's just adjusting to the new house and working on school stuff," she says. "It's been a pretty good couple of days which I am grateful for," she says, "the bad days are the worst."

"I know," I say. "But soon all she's going to have are good days. She's going to get through this. I know she is."

"I know," she says. "It's just getting there that's the hardest."

"It's a good thing she's a fighter," I say making her smile. "So how have you been feeling?"

"Our baby is kicking my ass to be honest. I don't remember being this sick with the girls. It's always rough in the morning."

"I'm sorry, Baby, I hope that it gets better for you soon," I say as Amari comes into the kitchen. "Hey, Mari," I say with a smile.

"Joe?" she asks and I can see that I am not the only one that has been to the barber to get their hair shaved. Her head is freshly shaven like mine but decorated with a purple flower headband matching her purple shirt she's wearing.

"Yes, Amari," I say with a smile.

"Your hair," she says with a smile. "You shaved your hair."

"I did," I say with a soft smile as I make my way over to her. I kneel down on her level as she takes her hand over my head as I do the same to hers.

"JOE!" she says breaking down into tears wrapping her arms around me, I wrap my arms around her too, holding her close as she cries on my shoulder. I kiss the top of her head as she cries.

"What do you think?" I ask with tears in my eyes as I look into her dark brown eyes.

"I love it!" she says, "thank-you so much!" she smiles as she wraps her arms around me again. I hug her back with a smile on my face. There is nothing I love more than keeping Amari happy and making her smile especially in a tough time like this.

"We are no hair buddies," I say with a smile, "and I am going to keep my hair like this as long as yours is like this. We're in this together."

"Joe," she says making my eyes fill up with tears. "You are the best! I love you so much!"

"I love you too," I say with a smile as Lucky joins in the hug, jumping excitedly making us both laugh as she joins us with her wet kisses.

 ***A/N: I know this chapter was really short but honestly after Amari saw Joe I needed to end the chapter there, there was nothing more I could write with that beautiful moment. I promise the next chapter will be longer. So what did you think? Were you surprised Joe shaved his head for Amari? What did you think of Amari's and Madden's reactions? Do you think he will be punished for what he chose to do? Please review and thank-you for reading. I promise the next chapter will be longer.**


	18. We Haven't Seen It Yet

***Thank-you for all the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much* I am so sorry you had to wait so long for an update but things in my life in the last couple months have been a whirlwind and I needed to take a break from updating to focus on them, plan a wedding and pack to move but I am back now and ready to update again. Thank-you for being so patient.**

"I'm not wearing this!" protests Amari as she's being fitted for her new prosthetic leg from Dr. Anderson. "It's ugly!" she complains.

"But it will help you be able to walk again," I say. "No one will ever know. Amari, it's to help you."

"But I will know," she says. "Please don't make me wear this," she says with tears in her eyes, "and it hurts."

"It won't hurt forever," says Dr. Anderson. "It's only temporary that it will hurt. You just have to get used to it and get used to wearing it."

"Will I be able to dance with it?" she asks.

"One day," says Dr. Anderson, "right now you just need to get used to wearing it and get used to the way it feels before you start doing any pirrouttes, but one day you will get there I promise."

"I don't know about this," she says looking down at her leg. "It's heavy."

"You will get used to it," says Dr. Anderson. "You're going to need to do some therapy to get used to it and it's not going to be easy at first but you're going to get there I promise," he says.

"Okay," she says nervously. This was never in the plans for my 6 year old daughter. I never thought that she would get cancer but then that day happened where she was diagnosed and just when I thought we were in the clear the cancer came back and she lost her leg in the process. I would give anything to see my child live a normal happy childhood where she's not stuck with needles, given medicine in her body to treat a disease that can possibly consume her body if treatments don't work. She's getting the most aggressive form of chemotherapy that a 6 year old can possibly get and seeing her get sick from it and losing her hair is devastating for me. I'm not mad at God for this but I do have some questions on how something like this can happen to innocent children, my innocent daughter. She's just 6 years old, she deserves so much more.

"Do you want to try walking on it?" asks Dr. Anderson.

"I guess," she says. "Joe will you walk with me?" she asks looking at Joe. He's been such an amazing friend to her from donating his bone marrow, to shaving his head and just being there for her. He's amazing to say the least a true to life angel. I am so grateful to him and his bond he has with Amari.

"Of course, Mari," he says with a soft smile. He stands up and makes his way over to her. He holds out his hand for her and she places her tiny hand into his. "Easy," he says helping her up from the chair. "We need to take it easy." She nods at him looking up at him with her dark brown eyes. "All right," he says, "take a couple steps." Amari starts with one foot then works to move the other foot but I can see the struggle in her eyes, the frustration when the leg doesn't quite cooperate with her movement.

"I can't do this," she cries.

"Stop, Amari," says Joe getting down on her level. "You can do anything that you put your mind to. If you tell yourself that you can't do something, you won't be able to. If you tell yourself you can do something, you will do it. It's not impossible, it's very possible to walk again. Just take a deep breath, relax and take your time. I know that you can do this, Amari." I smile at his encouragement. Amari does what he says, takes a deep breath and starts to try again.

"I can do it, I can do it, I can do it," she whispers as she starts to walk. "I can do it," she says again as she's walking with Joe. "I'm doing it! Joe I'm doing it!" she says walking beside him.

"I know that you are, I told you that you can do it," he smiles down at her.

"Mommy! Look, I'm walking!" she says with excitement and tears fill my eyes at her joy.

"I see, Baby," I smile wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Mommy, are you sad?" she asks me.

"Of course not, I'm happy to see you being able to walk again." I say as Dr. Anderson gets a page.

He looks at his pager and says, "the results are in for her latest scan. I'm going to go look over them then we can discuss them."

"Okay," I say with a nod before he leaves the room to go look at Amari's latest scans. I am hoping for good results.

About 30 minutes later Dr. Anderson comes back into the room and his face tells me that the scans were not as good as we were hoping for. "Madden," he says and we look up from the card game that we are playing. "I think we need to talk."

"Okay," I say laying down my cards. "Is everything okay?" I ask as I stand up.

"I think we should go talk in my office," he says making me even more nervous. "Joe, you might want to come along too."

"All right," he says looking at me as I look at him. "Do we want Amari to come into the office or no?"

"I think it would be best if Amari waited out here," he suggests. "The nurse will stay with her."

"Okay," I say and I know that it's not good news judging by his tone and the fact he doesn't want Amari involved in our talk, he always includes Amari in the news of her cancer. Joe takes my hand as we follow Dr. Anderson to his office.

"It's going to be okay," says Joe as he kisses the top of my head.

"I hope so," I say with a hope so deep I didn't even know it existed.

We get to Dr. Anderson's office and he offers us a seat as he closes the door behind him before rounding his way to the desk. Joe and I sit across from him sitting hand in hand. Joe squeezes my hand softly for comfort. "Okay," he says taking a seat.

"This isn't going to be good is it?" I ask not wanting to face the formalities. I just want to get to the news of what's happening with my daughter.

He shakes his head, "no, Madden, I don't have very good news for you. Amari's latest scans came back and after a month of chemotherapy her cancer cells have increased instead of decreased."

"So the chemo isn't working?" I ask.

"No, it's not working right now," he says.

"It's the strongest form of chemo," I say, "so what does this mean?"

"There is a new mass, it's on the socket of her hip," he says. "I don't want to do another surgery to remove it."

"So what's the plan?" I ask.

"I want to try radiation with her, see if that helps to kill off the cancer cells since the chemotherapy isn't working."

"We tried radiation before and it didn't work," I say. "So if the chemo isn't working what makes you think radiation is going to work?"

"We don't have any other options, Madden," he says. "I wish that we did but we don't have any other options."

"And if the radiation doesn't work? What are we looking at?" I ask.

"If the radiation doesn't work we are looking at 2 months," he says honestly and my heart stops, my world crashes down.

"2 months?" I ask.

"2 months," he says, "I'm sorry, Madden. I know this isn't the news you expected to hear today but the cancer is spreading through her body. I know she's trying to fight but with her bone marrow not being clear it's making it harder to kill the cancer cells and with it spreading through her body it's getting harder to kill."

"So she needs another bone marrow transplant?" I ask.

"I don't think that another bone marrow transplant is going to work," he says. "We can try it and see if it works but I'm not sure that it will, the cancer cells are too strong, the cancer is already spreading through her body."

"I want to try the bone marrow transplant and then try radiation," I say.

"If that's what you want to try," he says. "I'm sorry, Madden, I have been doing everything I can but it's not looking good. I would say to start making arrangements."

"Arrangements?" I ask, "are you telling me that my daughter is going to die?"

"I'm just saying that the outlook doesn't look good," he says, "the cancer is very aggressive. I'm sorry, Madden."

"Me too, so you're saying that the radiation isn't going to work at all or a bone marrow transplant?"

"At this point I don't think it will," he says, "I'm willing to try radiation to see if it slows down the process but I can't promise anything."

"Okay," I say with tears in my eyes. "I guess we'll try the radiation and hope for the best."

"I'm going to do what I can," he says, "I'm sorry, Madden."

"You've been amazing on our journey so far and I trust you to know what you're doing. I think you're a great doctor however you don't make the final decisions on life, God makes the final decisions on whether a life begins or rather a life ends. He gets to make this call you don't with all due respect. He has had this solution before we even had the problem. I'm not going to lose my faith and hope in him. He has a plan we just haven't seen it yet," I say trying to hold myself together. "Good things are coming when we can't see it. I believe God is going to do his work in Amari. Science can only bring us so far but faith, Dr. Anderson, Faith can move mountains."

"I'm not discrediting your beliefs or doubting your faith. I am a religious man myself and I have seen miracles, many miracles when I thought it was over a miracle happened. I continue to pray for Amari and hope for the best for her beyond my medicine. I know I am not doing this alone, she's not doing this alone so I am with you; faith is a beautiful thing and it can take you far, move mountains and make what seems impossible, possible, I just want you to be prepared in case the worst happens with Amari."

"I understand," I say. "I'm just hoping for the best."

"Me too," he says.

Later that night after I have had time to process the news and Joe and I have decided not to tell Amari the news that Dr. Anderson gave us about her cancer. We don't want her to worry about anything or be scared about anything, we think it's better that she not know the fact she could only have two months to live. I hope that she has longer than two months and with some miracle the radiation will work but I still have to prepare myself for the worst. It's hard to think about living a life without Amari but right now she's struggling and she's suffering. I don't want that either, I just want God to do his work, and whatever his plan may be I will accept it. I just want the next couple months to be the best months of her life where she doesn't have to worry about anything or do anything. I just want her to be 6 years old. Joe decided that him and I need a night out together and my sister agreed to watch the girls so we went out to eat at a nice Italian restaurant in Philadelphia.

"How are you feeling after today?" he asks as we are eating.

"Numb," I say. "No mother wants to hear that their child could die."

"I know," he says. "I'm sorry."

"Me too. I don't understand. I just don't get it, how can this be? She was fine and then it came back now the cancer cells are increasing and spreading through her body, why? Life isn't fair."

"I wish I could give you some answers but I can't. I don't understand it myself. I was hoping for better results."

"Me too," I say shaking my head. "How do you feel?"

"I don't know," he says, "I'm angry that she's going through this but I'm also scared because I don't want her to go, not at 6 years old. She's a strong little girl though so hopefully she makes it through this."

"I hope so," I say. "I can't imagine life without her, she's such a beautiful, intelligent and kind hearted child. I always wanted her to be the one to change the world."

"She's a wonderful child, I love her so much," he says. "And she's going to change the world."

"I hope so," I say. "And now I am worried about our baby what if our baby has cancer too?"

"If our baby has cancer we will deal with it like we are dealing with Amari having cancer."

"I want to get the test done to see if it has cancer," I say.

"I don't know if you can," he says.

"I'm going to ask the doctor because I can't go through this again. I don't want to lose my daughter, Joe."

"I know," he says. "I know, I don't want to lose her either but let's just hope for the best out of the radiation, hope that she beats this."

"I hope so," I say. "It's just not fair."

"I agree it's not fair."

"She deserves so much more, why does it have to be her? She's supposed to be a ballerina," I say holding back the tears.

"I know but maybe one day she will be the ballerina she's meant to be, be an inspiration to many little girls around the world, so they can see they can do anything no matter their circumstances."

"I hope so," I say. "Thank-you for being here for her and being here for us, it's so hard to go through something like this alone. I'm glad that I have you."

"I'm always going to be here," he says with a soft smile. "I love you, Madden, I love the girls so much and I love our child together," he says. "I never thought I would feel this way about anyone after Kate but you came into my life and I find myself falling in love more and more with you every day. I know things are a little tough right now but we're going to get through this together, you, me and the girls. Whatever the outcome may be we are going to get through this together. I love you, Madden."

"I love you too," I say.

 ***A/N What do you think of Joe's bond with Amari? What about his encouragement to her when she said she couldn't do it? Will he make a great father to his own child with Madden? What do you think of the news Dr. Anderson gave Madden and Joe? Do you think a miracle will happen? What do you think will happen next for this family? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	19. Rainbow in the Storm

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

It's been a couple weeks since Amari got her leg to help walking become easier and it has also been a couple weeks since Dr. Anderson gave us the news about Amari's new mass on her hip socket as well of her cancer increasing instead of decreasing and giving us a two month time frame of her life. It wasn't the news we were expecting to hear and it sure as hell wasn't the news we wanted to hear. I don't understand how a 6 year old can go through so much in her lifetime from losing her father to battling cancer, going into remission and then back to battling cancer. I know Mari is strong, I know that Mari is a fighter but sometimes the battle is just too big for us to fight but she's putting up the good fight, and working her hardest to defeat the cancer but it's taking over her body and it's going faster, increasing faster and spreading faster than we ever expected. I honestly don't think she has that much time left. I hate to think this way, hate to believe it but I don't think there's too much time left.

Madden and I agreed not to tell Amari the truth about her cancer because we didn't want her to worry or be scared but she's pretty smart and she knows something isn't right. We tried to do a bone marrow transplant again but this time it wasn't as successful as the first. She started radiation and so far there hasn't been much change in her condition. I remember being in my early 20's scared for my life when I was diagnosed with leukemia I could never imagine living with cancer at 6 years old and the reality of the situation is in my career I have done a lot of work with cancer patients especially cancer patients that are children. I have visited children's hospitals and spent time with these warriors; and yes it's a sad time but nothing has hurt me more than seeing Amari in her condition but it's because I love her. I know her mother loves her and I hate to see Madden hurting over the thought of losing her daughter. Madden has gone through a lot in the last couple years as well losing her husband, dealing with a sick child, giving up her job so she can take care of her child and putting her life on the back burner for her child which is why I have chosen to do something special for Madden, something to bring her a little bit of happiness in her life in such a dark time.

"Joe, I haven't even met this girl yet," says my mom as I am sitting on facetime with her. "Don't you think this is all moving fast?"

"I know and I plan to bring her to Pensacola so that you can meet her but with Amari being so sick and not being able to travel it's kind of hard to come to Pensacola, you could always come up here to visit to meet her."

"I have to meet her how else would I know if I like her or not or know if she's good enough for my baby boy?" she asks. "I liked Kate a lot. I don't think anyone could ever compare to her."

"I loved Kate and I still do but Madden comes pretty close to what I felt for Kate. Madden makes me happy and I do love her. We have already started a family together, not that we were planning to start a family it just happened that way and now we're having a baby," I say.

"I'm happy that you two are having a baby and I understand things happen in life, some things we can't control, I understand that but to ask her to marry you don't you think you should wait a little bit? I mean you already uprooted your entire life to move to Pennsylvania to be with her. Do you think you could slow down a little bit and wait to ask her to marry you for a couple more months?" she asks.

"I would wait a couple more months but I want Amari to be here to see me do this. I think that's pretty important to her, to me and to Madden for her to be here when I ask her mom to marry me. She's coming with me to pick out the ring this afternoon."

"As long as you know what you're doing. I trust your judgment but that doesn't mean I don't want to meet her before you get married," she says.

"I promise you are going to meet her soon and you will love her. She's just amazing all around. I can't even put into words how much I love her, how much she means to me and how amazing she is. I never thought I would fall in love again but then I met Madden and everything changed."

"As long as you're happy that's all that matters," she says with a smile.

"Believe me I am really happy," I smile. "She makes me happy and honestly I haven't been this happy since Kate."

"That's good to hear," she says. "All right, Joe, I love you and good luck with everything. Call me to tell me how it goes."

"I will," I say. "I love you, Mom."

"Bye," she waves. I wave back before I kill the call.

I may be crazy and everything may be moving fast between Madden and I but this feels right. The timing feels right and this is something I want to do. I know we weren't planning on getting married or having an engagement but I don't want to spend my life with anyone else other than Madden. It's definitely the right thing and I really want Amari to be a part of it.

 **LATER THAT DAY:**

"What are we doing at this jewelry store?" asks Amari as we walk into a beautiful and less crowded jewelry store. There are displays of necklaces, bracelets, earrings and rings throughout the store.

"I just want to get something for you mom and I need your help to do that," I say.

"A necklace? Because my mommy LOVES rubies. Her birthstone is a Ruby because she was born July 12th," she says, "and she would love a ruby necklace."

"I wasn't planning on getting her necklace," I say. "I was thinking more of a ring to ask her to marry me with."

"You're going to ask my mom to marry you?" she asks with a big smile.

"I was planning on it, what do you think? Do you think I should or do you think I should wait?" I ask.

"Joe, I might be 6 but I am not stupid. I know that I am really sick and I know that my treatments aren't working. I know I am going to die so before I do die I want you to ask my mom to marry you. She loves you. She loves you a lot."

"How do you know she loves me a lot?" I ask.

"Because she looks at you like she looked at my daddy and she REALLY loved him."

"That's good to know," I say with a smile. "I thought about making this special for your mom but I don't really know how to do it. What do you think I should do?"

"I don't know," she shrugs, "I may be smart but I am only 6. I think you should just do it when it feels good for you."

"Do you know what that means because I'm not sure I know what that means."

"I don't know," she says, "but I think it means that you will just know the right time to do it," she says. "I'm not an expert but I did watch Frozen and Frozen 2 so I sort of know what I'm talking about."

"I'll take your word for it," I say with a smile. "Let's go look at the rings," I say.

Amari and I walk over to look at the rings. I am overwhelmed by the amount of rings that there are in the case, so many diamond rings with so many different shapes from a halo shape to an oval shape. There's just so many different rings, some with white gold and some that are yellow gold as well as some with one stone then others with three stones. I don't even know which one to pick. "These are all beautiful rings," she says looking at them. "But I think that one is my favorite," she says pointing to a halo shape ring with one stone set in white gold. I have to agree with her that it is a pretty ring and it's pretty simple. Madden is a simple kind of girl so I think simple is s best.

"I like that one too," I say. "Do you think your mom would like it?" I ask looking at the 2 Ct diamond ring in 14K white gold.

"I think that she will love it," she smiles.

"Me too," I smile. I motion for the sales person and she makes her way over.

"How can I help you?" she asks.

"Yes, I want to get this engagement ring for my girlfriend," I say pointing to the ring Amari picked out.

"That's a very beautiful ring," she smiles, "what size are you looking for?"

"A size 7," I answer.

"Okay," she says. "We do have it in a 7. Do you want the complete set?" she asks.

"The complete set?" I ask.

"Yes, the complete set, the engagement ring and the wedding band, are you interested in getting the wedding band too?"

"I guess," I say. "I do want the rings to match."

"Okay," she smiles. "I can get this for you and then we can check out."

"Thank-you," I say. She takes the ring out of the display and hands it to me to look at one more time before she goes to get the size 7 ring. I look it over and I can't help but to smile at how beautiful it is, how shiny it is and I know that it's the perfect ring. I let her know that I am sure about my choice and she goes to get the ring set for me. I pay for the ring with my debit card and purchase the insurance on the ring just in case a diamond comes loose or she needs to get it resized. The saleslady puts the ring box in a bag with the receipt and gives me instructions on how to care for it by bringing it in every 6 months to be cleaned. I thank her before we leave the store. And of course on the way home I think of all the ways I can do this, all the ways I can ask Madden to marry me.

"You two were gone for a while," says Madden as Amari and I walk in the door. "Where did you go?" she asks.

"Mommy, that's a secret," smiles Amari with a sly smile. "We can't tell you that."

"You two are up to something," she says with a smile.

"We aren't up to anything," says Amari before she winks at me.

"You aren't up to anything huh?" Madden asks with a smile. "Then why did you just wink at Joe?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mommy," says Mari with a smile.

"I'm sure you don't," says Madden with a smile. "I'm glad to see you happy and smiling."

"I'm happy," she says. "I want to smile."

"I'm glad you're happy."

"I'm going to go play with my LOL dolls. You two have fun," she says before she leaves the kitchen leaving Madden and me alone.

"Madden, I know we agreed we wouldn't tell Amari what Dr, Anderson told us but I don't think we should keep it a secret anymore. She needs to know. We were out and she told me that she knows something isn't right and that she's going to die. I don't think it's right to keep this a secret from her."

"Joe," she looks up at me. "I hate keeping it a secret too but my reasoning for not saying anything is because in the last few years of her life she has had nothing but tough times. Her dad deployed and never made it home because he was lost in battle, then when her world finally felt normal to her she got cancer and has been fighting for over a year. I just want her to be happy not be focused on the fact she doesn't have that much longer to live. I hate that thought but I know it won't be long. I don't want her to spend the next couple months worrying or focusing on dying. I want her to spend it being 6 years old, playing with the dog that we bought, playing with her toys. She hasn't had much time in the last two years to be a kid. I want her to enjoy as much life as she can without worrying about dying, worrying about Heaven. I just want her to be a kid, Joe," she says with tears in her beautiful blue eyes.

"I understand," I say as I pull her into a tight embrace, holding her tight to me. "I love you, Madden."

"I love you too," she says as she kisses my chest. She rests her head on my chest as I kiss the top of her head.

"How are you feeling today, how's the morning sickness?" I ask.

"It's getting better," she says. "I am still getting sick but not as intensely as I was. I think I am getting to that point in my pregnancy where it starts to fade out and then the next phase begins," she says.

"And what's the next phase?"

"Cravings and increased sexual appetite," she smiles.

"Hmm, increased sexual appetite? I like the sound of that."

"I figured you would," she smiles making me smile. "So what are you two up to?" she asks.

"Amari told you nothing," I say. "What makes you think we are up to something?"

"I don't know just a feeling," she says.

"Well, if we are up to something, you're just going to need to wait and see."

"That's not fair," she pouts.

"Aww, don't pout, Baby." I take my finger over her soft lips. "How about you and me go out tonight, go to a nice restaurant to have dinner?"

"Hmm, I don't know," she says.

"Come on, it will be fun, in fact let's have Amari and Gatsby come along, we'll have a nice family dinner. How does that sound?"

"I mean I was going to cook a nice family dinner here," she says, "but if you're going to twist my arm then yes."

"Perfect," I smile before I kiss her lips softly. I pull away from her to put my plan into motion.

"Wait, where are you going?" she asks.

"Um, I just have something to take care of it's nothing big," I say.

"All right if you say so," she says with a questioning look.

"I promise," I say reassuring her with a soft kiss on the lips.

"That's reassuring," she smiles.

"Hmm, let me reassure you a little more," I say with a smile before I lead her upstairs to our bedroom.

Later that day in the early evening after a nice enjoyable afternoon with Madden we go out to eat as a family to a seafood restaurant that we all agreed on. Throughout the meal I try to keep my nerves calm but I feel my palms sweating, my mouth drying up so much I have to get some water to moisten my mouth a little bit, my heart is pounding out of my chest by the time the waiter brings our desert over. I feel like I could faint. "Are you okay?" asks Madden.

Snapping me out of thought I say, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" she asks. "You look like you are going to be sick."

"No, I'm fine I promise."

"I don't know you've been weird all day, what's going on?" she asks. "Something is going on."

"Joe," Amari elbows me, I look down at her. "I think this might be that time I was telling you about," she says making me smile.

"I think so too," I whisper.

"Time for what?" asks Madden as I stand up. I pull the ring box out of my pocket and get down on my knee in front of her. "Um Joe?"

"Time for this," I say as I open the box exposing the diamond ring to her. "Madden, I never expected to fall in love again and I know you felt the same but then I met you and everything changed. I found myself falling in love with you and still falling in love with you more and more each day. I found a new happiness in you, a happiness I never thought I would be able to find again but finding you helped me find that happiness. I know we never planned on a marriage, never planned on an engagement but we didn't plan on a baby but that happened so I think that an engagement is logical. I love you so much, Madden. You brought a new light into my life, you were the rainbow in my storm that brightened everything around me. I love you so much, I love both Gatsby and Amari too. We have started a family together and I want to continue being a family. I love you so much, I just want to marry you, make you my wife and spend the rest of my life with you. Madden, there's a risk in love and I'm taking that risk because I know that sometimes that risk can be worth taking, Madden, I love you and I want to be your husband, will you marry me? Will you be my wife?" I ask as all the stress I felt fades away.

Tears fill Madden's eyes as she nods her head, "Yes, I'll marry you," she says. "I'll marry you." I feel the tears in my eyes as I slide the ring on her finger.

"I love you," I say with a smile before taking her in my arms and kissing her lips softly.

 ***A/N: What do you think of Joe's feelings about Amari and everything she's going through? Do you agree with his mom that his relationship with Madden is going too fast or do you think it's nice he's thinking of Amari when making decisions? Do you think Madden and Joe should tell Amari the truth about the news Dr. Anderson gave to them about her cancer or should they keep it a secret? And finally what do you think of Joe asking Madden to marry him? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	20. When I Pray For You

**Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

"How was dinner?" asks my sister Kenzie as Joe and I walk into the house after our nice dinner.

"Yes, how was dinner?" asks Amari with a sly smile and a wink at Joe.

"Well," I say looking at Joe, "I said yes," I smile.

"You said yes?" asks Kenzie, "does that mean? Did he ask you to marry him?" she asks with a joyful smile.

"He did," I smile, "it was so unexpected and so beautiful. I told him yes."

"Congratulations," she says giving me a hug and I hug her back. "Welcome to the family, Joe," she says giving him a hug.

"Thanks," he says with a smile as he wraps his arm around my shoulders.

"Let me see that ring," she says. I show her the diamond on my finger. "Beautiful," she says. "That's absolutely beautiful."

"Thank-you," I smile.

"I helped pick it out," says Amari proudly.

"Is that why you two were being so secretive today?" I ask, "pretending you two weren't up to something?"

"Maybe," she smiles. "Do you like it?"

"I love it," I say. "but I love Joe more than the ring."

"That's good to hear," says Joe with a smile as he rubs my back. "Gatsby, what do you think about your mom and me getting married?"

"I don't know, I like it and I am happy for you I guess," she says.

"You don't seem very happy," I say, "is something wrong, Gatsby?"

"No, nothing is wrong. I am really happy for you two."

"Okay," I say curiously trying to read her expression. I would imagine finding out that I'm getting married again to someone that's not her dad would be a little tough for her. "It's okay, Gatsby I still love your daddy and I always will. Daddy would want me to be happy and I am happy."

"I know," she says with a smile. "That's what I want too for you to be happy."

"Thanks," I say.

"So did you two pick a date yet? Is it going to be a long or short engagement?" asks Kenzie with excitement. "We need to start planning your wedding."

"Relax," I say, "we JUST got engaged. We haven't thought about any of that yet. I think a long engagement would be best but I also want Amari to be at the wedding."

"Okay so are you thinking a winter wedding? Maybe a Christmas wedding? Wouldn't that be such a beautiful wedding?" she asks with excitement.

"It would if I wasn't having a baby a month before that. I was thinking maybe about a year from now," I say. "I want some time to get the baby settled in, work with Amari and her treatments and give myself time to lose the baby weight before we get married."

"Okay so we are looking April or May," she says, "a spring time wedding will be just as beautiful. You could use a lot of pastel colors for your color scheme maybe get married in a garden," she says. "It would be beautiful."

"I will take that into consideration," I say with a smile. "We have plenty of time to think about it," I say. "Right now I just want to enjoy and celebrate being newly engaged."

"All right but you know there's a lot of work that goes into planning a wedding especially in a year. You didn't have a big wedding with Wyatt so let's make this one a big wedding."

"I want to do whatever Joe is comfortable with," I say, "but right now it's time for two little girls to go to bed because it's getting late."

"I'm not tired," says Gatsby.

"Me either," says Amari, "can we stay up a little later?"

"No," I say, "it's time for bed. We can all read a story together and then it's time for bed."

"Okay," they say together.

"Go get your pajamas on and we will be up in a couple minutes to read."

"Okay," they say together once again before they hurry upstairs to get their pajamas on. Amari is doing pretty good with her prosthetic leg it's like she never lost her leg at all. It makes me smile seeing how happy and normal she is despite everything that's happened to her over the last few months.

I thank Kenzie for babysitting for us and tell her goodbye before Joe and I make our way upstairs to read a story with the girls before they go to bed. Joe and I walk into the room to see both girls in Amari's bed waiting to be read to. Joe chooses to read them Peter Pan before they go to sleep. Once we finish reading the story we give them each a kiss goodnight. "Goodnight, Gatsby," I say with a smile before kissing her cheek.

"Goodnight, Mommy," she says with a soft smile. "I love you."

"I love you too," I say with a smile. "Goodnight, Amari," I say giving her a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Mommy, I love you," she says making me smile.

"I love you too," I say with a smile. Joe takes his turn to give them each a kiss and to tell them both goodnight.

Just as I am about to turn off the light in the room Amari stops both Joe and me, "Mommy, am I going to die?" she asks. I stop in my tracks not expecting the question she asked. "Please tell me the truth, am I going to die?"

"I don't know, Amari," I say as we make our way back to the bed. "It's all in God's hands at this point. Dr. Anderson is doing everything he can to stop the cancer from spreading but it's all in God's hands as to what will happen," I say.

"What if God wants me to die?" she asks making my eyes burn with tears.

"Then that's in God's plan," I say trying to hold myself together as Joe rubs my back in support.

"How come bad things happen to good people?" asks Gatsby. "Like how come Daddy had to die, why did God let daddy die and why did God let Mari get cancer?" she asks. "And what if God lets her die too?"

"Bad things don't come from God," I explain, "nothing bad ever comes from God, trials come from God and losing your daddy was a trial, having your sister get cancer was a trial, but the bad things do not come from God. A trial is meant to build your faith in God, to become stronger in your faith. I don't understand it either but God has some type of plan in mind for us. I know it's hard to understand especially when I don't understand it myself but God works in the ways for the good of all men and women. Maybe God needed your daddy more than we did and needed him to be an angel. Just like Joe's wife Kate became an angel too. Maybe God needed her more than Joe did. I know it's hard to accept but maybe God needed them more than we do but they are not gone they are still angels and live in our hearts that watch over us all the time."

"But why is Mari sick?" she asks.

"I don't know. I wish I could answer that for you but I can't, I just have to keep trusting God and pray that he heals her of the cancer but I also understand if God chooses to take her to make her an angel as well. It will be hard for us but do you see how much Mari has gone through, how much pain she has felt? Sometimes a complete healing means losing the people we love like your daddy. He was hurt in battle we don't know what injuries he would have suffered and dealt with the rest of his life. We will never know but we need to trust that God knew what he was doing and chose to heal him by taking him from the Earth where he feels no more pain and has no more injuries. Life is tricky sometimes but we have to keep trusting that God knows what he's doing, and knows what his plan is. God always has the solution to a problem before we even know there is a problem. God knows how our lives will begin, what happens to us in the middle and how our lives will end before we are even born. God knows what he's doing and we just need to trust his judgment."

"But I don't want to lose my sister," she says.

"I don't want to lose her either but if that's how it's going to heal her and give her a pain free life then so be it. We can't be selfish about it," I say. "We have to be trusting and faithful."

"I don't want to die," says Amari, "I will miss you too much."

"I will miss you too we will all miss you but Amari you will always be with us no matter what, you will always be in our hearts. So if you ever find yourself getting too weak to fight and feel yourself ready to give up do what you need to do. It will break my heart but knowing you will be pain free and knowing you will be healed is what matters the most to me."

"Mommy," she says, "what's Heaven like?"

"I don't know," I say, "but I like to imagine that it's beautiful, that the sun is always shining, everyone is always happy. I like to think that there are flowers everywhere, angels all around watching over their loved ones and watching over other people. I just think that Heaven is the most beautiful place."

"Oh," she says. "Will I get all the ice-cream that I want?" she asks.

"I would think so," I smile.

"That sounds fun," she says with a smile. "But I still don't want to die."

"No one ever wants to die," I say, "and we never want the people that we love to die but sometimes that's how life works."

"I know," she says, "but I am going to keep fighting, Mommy because I want to see you marry Joe and I want to meet my baby brother or sister."

I smile and say, "you're a fighter, Mari, you always have been and you are one of the strongest girls I know. I know that you're going to be able to meet your baby brother or sister and I know you're going to be able to see Joe and I get married. We are going to make sure of it," I say.

"Do you promise?" she asks.

"I promise," I say.

"Pinky promise?" she asks holding her pinky up.

"Pinky promise," I say with a smile hooking my pinky with hers just hoping that we are able to marry before we lose her and hopefully have the baby before we lose her. "Any more questions?"

"Not tonight," she smiles. "Goodnight, Mommy."

"Good night," I say with a smile before kissing them each once again before leaving the room after turning off their light.

"That was rough," says Joe as we are lying in our bed.

"It really was. I never know what to say to those kinds of questions. I don't want to lose my 6 year old but if that's what God chooses to do I can't stop him. I didn't want to lose my husband but I did."

"I didn't want to lose my wife either," he says snuggling close to me. "I will never understand it."

"Neither will I," I say, "but somehow God brought you and me together even if it took my daughter getting cancer to do it. You gave her a little more time by donating your bone marrow and I will forever be grateful for that."

"I just wanted to help and when I got the call that I was a match to a little girl I just had to donate my bone marrow to her. I would do it again and again if it meant saving her. She's such an amazing, loving and caring little girl. I want her to grow up and change the world."

"Me too," I say with a smile. "I can never thank you enough for everything you have done for us."

"You don't have to thank me. I was doing what I was meant to do and God brought us together for a reason, made us a family," he says placing his hand on my stomach. "I love you, Madden."

"I love you too," I say with a smile. "What do you think we are going to have? A girl or a boy?"

"I don't care as long as it's healthy. It doesn't matter to me. Kate and I tried for so long to have a baby and it just didn't happen for us. I'm grateful that it's happening for us I don't care if it's a boy or a girl just as long as it is growing well and it's healthy that's all that matters to me," he says before kissing my stomach. "It doesn't matter, Bean what you are," he says talking to my stomach, "just as long as you're healthy. I can't wait to meet you. Your mommy and me are going to love you so much. We're going to give you the world and make sure that you're happy. We are going to give you the best life we can and hope that you have a healthy and happy childhood." I smile at his words. "You don't know how much you mean to us, how much we love you already even if you were a surprise, and unexpected. Some of the best gifts in life are the ones we least expect. I love you so much, Bean we both love you and we both can't wait to meet you. I pray for you every night. I can't wait to feel your heartbeat as you lay on my chest. I'm just praying that I don't mess up this whole dad thing with you. I know my dad wasn't the best dad to me but I know that he loved me and wanted the best for me. I just pray that I can be a better dad than my dad was, make sure you know that I love you and just pray for the best for you in this crazy life. I want to do so much with you. I want to be a part of every milestone of your life and I don't want to miss a thing with you. I pray I am a better man, better father than my dad was. I know my job keeps me busy and there are going to be times I can't be here but I will make sure I never miss a thing with today's technology. You're the greatest unexpected gift in my life and I pray for the day that I meet you. I pray that you love like your mommy does and that your forgive like she does and one day you're going to grow up but I hope that you take your time, give us the time to enjoy you and love on you, spend time with you. Life isn't always going to be easy, it's not always going to be fair. I know that you're not always going to need me but Bean I promise I will always be there. I will always be here no matter what you face, no matter what you do, no matter what you choose. I am going to be the best dad I can be to you. I'm going to love you more than life itself and I'm always going to be here for you. I love you so much, Bean. I will always love you," he says making my eyes fill with tears. It's amazing to hear him and see him love our little baby so much. I had two kids before I met Joe and every pregnancy is a blessing, every baby is a blessing and the first time you experience it's beautiful, it's beautiful every time but to know you created something so precious and finding out you can love something so much even if you haven't met them yet is one of the greatest feelings in the world. I wish for so much for this baby, I hope for it to be healthy for it to never face the pain that Amari has had to face and like Joe I'm always going to be here for it no matter what just like I have always been for Gatsby and Amari. This is no different. I pray for this baby too and hope the same things Joe hopes for.

 ***A/N: What did you think? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	21. The News

***Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much.***

 **AMARI:**

 _The sun is shining all around me, the weather just perfect as I am in a field of flowers; pink flowers, yellow flowers, purple flowers, the birds chirping a beautiful song as they fly through the air, hummingbirds fly around the flowers. I look down and see that I have both of my legs again, I rub my eyes believing that I am seeing things, I try to remove my leg but it's attached like it was before the doctor took it away. I smile as I start to dance to the soft music from the birds pretending I am a beautiful ballerina, my white dress that falls to my knees twirls with me as I turn, my hair, my beautiful dark hair back to the middle of my back it sways in the wind as I dance. I feel healthy, strong, better than I have for the last couple months, I feel pretty again, I feel normal. I giggle and laugh as I dance in the sun, skipping through the soft breeze stopping to pick the flowers around me. I stop as I see a man standing before me, wearing an army uniform, his dark hair cut nicely in a buzz cut, I know this man, I remember this man. He's wearing combat boots contrast to my bare feet, I can smell him, a smell I remember, he turns around extending his hand out to me. "Daddy?" I ask him as he smiles at me._

 _"Yes, Amari," he says with a smile. "It's me."_

 _"Does this mean I went to Heaven?" I ask._

 _"No, Amari, this is the in between, do you see how beautiful the in between is? Just imagine what's on the other side," he smiles._

 _"What does the in between mean?" I ask._

 _"Come with me, Princess Mari, we have a lot to talk about," he says taking my hand. I missed him calling me Princess Mari, he has always called me his princess. I follow him through the field of flowers. I hear fresh water flowing as we come to a beautiful stream of water with beautiful waterfalls almost like in New York. My daddy takes a seat on the biggest rock I have ever seen and lifts me up to his lap. "I miss you, Mommy and Gatsby," he says, "I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye to you."_

 _"Why did you leave us, Daddy?"_

 _"I didn't want to leave you," he says, "It was not my choice, it was God's choice. I wanted to come home and be with you three but God called me home."_

 _"But I miss you," I say._

 _"I miss you too but I watch over you every day. I keep you safe every day," he says. "Just because I left doesn't mean I went anywhere. I'm always right by your side, and if you need me I'm always here, I'm always with you and if you can't see me at night just close your eyes, say a prayer and I will be right there. I'm always with you, Mommy and Gatsby," he says._

 _"But I got sick, Daddy. Why did I get sick?"_

 _"I know Princess Mari, I know you got sick because I have sat in with you on every treatment, I have hugged you every night you cried and laid with you every time you were sick, I have been to every surgery and I know you're sick and I'm sorry you got sick. Things happen that we can't control sometimes good and sometimes bad. Just like I still don't understand why God chose to bring me to Heaven but everything happens in God's time and in God's plan. He has a plan for your life too."_

 _"Am I going to die, Daddy?" I ask._

 _"I can't say yes and I can't say no because the only one that knows the answer is God. I just want you to know that when the time comes not to be afraid, Heaven is the most beautiful place, it's more beautiful than you could ever imagine. I will be right there waiting for you but what I do know is that things are going to happen, things are going to get tough but I promise the pain won't last long, I promise things will get better. I know you're a fighter and I know you're strong but Amari the time is coming where you're going to need to stop fighting, you're going to need to let go but don't be afraid, I was afraid, I was scared but when I got to Heaven it was the most beautiful place in the world, all the pain I felt, all my injuries were gone just like your leg has come back and your hair has come back in your pain is gone when you come to Heaven it will be just like that."_

 _"Am I coming to Heaven soon?" I ask._

 _"I'm sorry, Amari but it's going to be soon," he says as he hugs me tight and I start to cry. "But it's okay you and me will be together, we'll watch over Mommy and Gatsby together and your baby brother," he says._

 _"A brother?" I ask, "Mommy has a baby boy in her tummy?"_

 _"She does," he smiles, "you're going to have a baby brother."_

 _"I am so happy! I want a baby brother more than anything," I say._

 _"I know," he says, "You will be a great big sister."_

 _"I know," I say. "Mommy is getting married."_

 _"I know," he says, "I made sure that she found someone that would love her like I love her, someone that will treat her the way I have treated her and love you and Gatsby the way I love you. I'm glad to see Mommy is finally happy, she deserves all the happiness. I wish it was with me but I love to see her happy I always have. Joe is the best for her and he's the best for you," he says. "I just want you to know Amari that I love you and the time is coming when you're going to come to Heaven but the first person you're going to see is me, I will be there just like I have always been there," he says before kissing my cheek._

Before I know it I am awake in my bed looking up at the ceiling. I have tears in my eyes from seeing my daddy. I feel for my hair and it's gone again, I feel for my leg and it's not there anymore. Everything is gone and I am back in my home, in my bed and in my room. My daddy is still gone, I'm still sick. I start to cry and scream for my mommy.

"Amari," she says as she comes into the room turning on the light. "What's wrong?"

"I saw Daddy!" I cry. "I saw Daddy!"

"When did you see Daddy? Are you feeling okay?"

"In the in between," I say, "It was beautiful, he talked to me, Mommy. He said that soon I am going to go to Heaven and soon I won't be hurt anymore. I had my hair and my leg was back. He still looked the same. He said I'm going to have a baby brother and that even though he left he's still always here with us."

"Amari, it sounds like you had a beautiful dream," she says.

"It wasn't a dream, Mommy, it was real!" I argue.

"Amari, I think it was just a dream and Daddy came to visit you," she says, "I never heard of the in-between."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't exist!" I protest, "I know it was real, he hugged me, he kissed me it was real! And I miss Daddy!"

"I miss Daddy too," she says hugging me. "I miss him a lot."

"He said that he sent Joe to us because he wanted you to be happy and that he wants you to always be happy."

She smiles at me, "I think God sent Joe to us, Daddy may have helped but I am sure that God brought Joe into our lives."

"Daddy also said that I am getting a baby brother," I say.

"Well, we still have a few days to find that out but maybe so."

"I hope so. I really want a baby brother."

"We will see what happens," she says with a smile. "I want a baby boy too but are you okay now, Mari?"

"Yes, Mommy, can you lay with me?"

"Absolutely," she says as she lays down next to me. I close my eyes as I feel her softly rubbing my back. I slowly fall asleep.

 **LATER THAT DAY: MADDEN**

"I don't know, Joe, she said that her dad met her at the in-between last night. She was really upset. She said that Wyatt told her that he wanted to see me happy and told her that we were having a baby boy."

"I wouldn't mind a baby boy but as long as the baby is healthy that's all that matters to me. And it's possible that he did make contact with her, you don't believe that he made contact with her?" Joe asks me.

"I think it was just a very vivid dream and she misses her dad so much that he came to visit her in a dream but I never heard of the in-between. I think it was just a very vivid dream."

"You never know," he says, "you don't believe that Wyatt could have done that?"

"I don't know has Kate ever come to visit you?" I ask.

"No, has Wyatt ever come to visit you?" he asks.

"No but she said that Wyatt told her that she was going to go to Heaven soon," I say with tears in my eyes. "I'm hoping that was just a dream."

"I hope so too, she has her whole life ahead of her," he says. "Let's see what Dr. Anderson has to say."

"Hopefully it's good news," I say. "I can't handle any more bad news."

"I know and the less stress you have the better for you and the baby," he rubs my back as we are waiting for Dr. Anderson to give us an update on Amari and on her health. I'm hoping for good news from her recent scans and she's been getting her radiation so hopefully there's been some improvement. The last time we talked to Dr. Anderson it wasn't good news so I am just hoping for a little change in her condition.

"Madden," says the nurse, "Dr. Anderson is ready to talk to you," she says.

"Okay," I say as I stand up. Joe stands up with me and we follow the nurse to Dr. Anderson's office.

"Madden and Joe," he says as we enter his office, "Please have a seat."

"Okay," I say.

Joe and I take a seat in the two chairs across from Dr. Anderson as he sits at his desk. I see Amari's file up on his tablet. I just have a bad feeling about all of this. "As you know we did a few scans of Amari today," he begins. "We wanted to check her blood cell count, take an x-ray of her bones just to see if the radiation is working like we are hoping it is. Her blood cell count is back and unfortunately her white blood cell count is low again and it's just getting lower, the cancer is taking over her body she had a high level of catecholamines in her blood and urine and as for her x-rays and scans the cancer is spreading through her body, there was a mass found over her pelvic bone, spreading to her hip bone and wrapping around toward her spine. The cancer is spreading much faster than we would like and I thought that the radiation would slow down the process but it hasn't. If anything the process of the cancer spreading has increased. I'm sorry, Madden but there's not anything more that we can do the cancer is just spreading too fast," he says as tears burn my eyes.

"So what are you saying?" I ask.

"I'm saying that it's time to get Amari as comfortable as you can. I have done all that I can for her and the rest is in God's hands. With the speed the cancer is spreading I would say she has about a month and a half left to live. I am sorry, Madden, I know you wanted different results and I know you wanted this to be different. I wanted to be able to heal her but I'm sorry, I have done all that I can," he says and I just break down on Joe's shoulder as I try to swallow the news that my baby girl only has a month and a half to live.

 ***a/n: what did you think? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	22. Good and Perfect Gifts

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you so much. I am sorry that it took so long for an update but things have been a bit crazy and I kept starting this chapter over again.***

"You okay?" Joe asks me as we sit at the kitchen table after Amari's appointment taking my hand into his and stroking me with his thumb.

"I don't know," I say looking off in the distance. "That's not the news I wanted to hear today that's for sure," I say.

"I know me either," he says. "But remember it's not up to the doctor to say who lives and who dies."

"I know but what if God decides that it's time for her to go, once God makes up his mind you know there's no point in begging for him to change his mind."

"I know but we have to keep our faith and hope for that miracle," he says.

"Excuse me but I am not all about God and having a lot of faith and hope right now," I say. "If God truly existed he wouldn't have taken my husband from me and he wouldn't have given my daughter cancer and the chemo and radiation had worked if there was actually a God."

"I don't think it's a good idea to doubt the existence of God, Madden," he says, "I know you're upset but you should never doubt the existence of God."

"Then tell me why you lost your wife, and I lost my husband and why my daughter got cancer," I say, "tell me why if God is so good that all these bad things happened?" I say. "If God truly existed none of these bad things would happen."

"Madden, I understand that you're upset and you're allowed to be upset but bad things don't come from God, he doesn't cause bad things to happen, he causes trials that are meant to build our faith in him. I have been where you are, Madden. I was angry at God for the longest time for taking my wife, and allowing her to die and robbing me of a life with her. We had so many plans but we didn't get to live those plans because God took her from me. I was angry too, I was very angry. I don't understand why God took her from me but I learned to understand he had a reason. It is the devil that is making us believe that God causes bad things to happen when in reality only good and perfect gifts come from God, trials happen as a way to build our faith in him, to build our hope and our trust in the Lord. THAT's what God is all about, we went through some trials, when you lost Wyatt and I lost Kate, that was a trial, learning to live without them was a trial, your daughter being diagnosed with cancer that was a trial, all you can do is trust in God and his plan. I don't know what's going to happen, we don't know what's going to happen but what we do know is that God is always there and he will never leave us even in the hard times."

"Joe," I say, "I'm scared."

"I'm scared too," he says.

"She's only 6 years old, what about her dreams and the plans she has for her life? I am scared to lose her. I am scared for her to go to Heaven, she's going to be all alone."

"She won't be all alone," he says, "Wyatt is there and all the angels are there," he says. "She won't be alone."

"She won't have me and I won't have her," I say with tears in my eyes. "And what about Gatsby? How will she survive without her sister, how will I survive without Amari?"

"The same way Gatsby is surviving without her father and the same way you have been surviving without Wyatt. Death ends a life not a relationship. Just because we lose the people we love doesn't mean we stop loving them, and they stop loving us. They love us from afar and no matter where we are they are always there, they are always with us, they're in our minds, in our hearts, they can be the wind that blows, the rain that falls, the sun that shines, the flowers that bloom, the cardinal that comes to sit in a tree, no matter what they are always there maybe not physically but they are there spiritually watching over us, loving us and caring for us like they always have. I know it's hard to think about a life without Amari but I never thought or imagined a life without Kate just like I am sure you never envisioned a life without Wyatt, and what happened after you lost Wyatt, did life stop or did it keep going?"

"It kept going," I say, "it didn't stop, the sun kept coming up each morning, the sun kept setting every night, the next day kept coming, the minutes turned to hours, the hours into days, the days into weeks, the weeks into months and the months into years, life kept going without him and I kept missing him but I learned to adjust to life without him as hard as it was, I managed to learn how to live life without him."

"Life does keep going, it doesn't stop and like you said, minutes turned to hours, hours to days, days to weeks, weeks to months and months to years. Life doesn't stop when we lose someone it keeps going. If we lose Amari life isn't going to stop going, it's going to keep going, it's going to be hard but we learn to adjust to life without the ones we love. That's the hardest part."

"I know," I agree. "I think we should get married before Amari dies," I suggest.

"In the next month?" he asks.

"Yes, it means a lot to me that she's there to see us get married," I say. "It doesn't have to be a big wedding. It can be a small wedding. It can be you, me, Gatsby and Amari. I don't need to have an extravagant wedding. I just want something small and special."

"I mean if that's what you want," he says, "We can make it happen. We need to get a marriage license and find a place to get married."

"We can get married at the courthouse, it's quick and easy."

"Sounds like a plan to me," he smiles. "And then we can always have a bigger wedding later down the road."

"I'm okay with just a small wedding. I don't need a big wedding down the road unless that's what you want."

"I'm good with whatever you want," he says, "I just want you to be happy."

"Me too, I'm happy as long as Amari gets to be there to see us get married. After all if it wasn't for her we wouldn't be here today."

"I don't know, I think somehow whether Amari needed the bone marrow transplant or not we still would have met somehow or some way," he says. "Fate works that way."

"I guess," I say, "so you're good with getting married in the next few weeks?"

"Of course, we can go get our marriage license and then two weeks later we can get married."

"Sounds like a plan to me," I smile. "I love you, Joe."

"I love you too," he says with a smile. He leans over and kisses my lips softly. "We'll get through this together."

"I know," I say.

 **TWO DAYS LATER:**

Joe and I are sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office for us to have our anatomy scan to find out if the baby is completely healthy and if it cooperates find out the sex of the baby. "Are you excited to find out the sex of the baby?" I ask him.

"I'm just hoping it's healthy that's the number 1 concern for me is that it's healthy."

"Me too but I'm still excited to find out the sex. I hope first and foremost that the baby is healthy but once we find out that it is healthy I hope to find out the sex, it could be quite stubborn. I didn't know that Amari was a girl until the day she was born because every time we had an ultrasound she kept her legs closed and wouldn't let us see if she was a boy or a girl so it was a guessing game the entire pregnancy."

"So she was stubborn even before birth?" he asks.

"She sure was," I smile. "I'm hoping for a little boy this time, I have two girls, I'm ready for a boy."

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, I'm going to love them so much and I am just grateful that God is blessing me with a child. I have waited so long for this and have wanted this for such a long time I am grateful to be able to finally be a father whether it's a boy or a girl."

"You're going to be an amazing father," I say, "You are amazing with Amari and Gatsby, I know that you are going to be just as amazing with our baby."

"Thanks, but I'm scared to be a dad, I'm excited but scared."

"There's nothing to be scared of," I say. "What makes you scared?"

"It's just something I have never done before," he says, "what if I am not as good with my own child as I am with Gatsby and Amari?"

"I've seen you with kids you're amazing, you're great with kids. You're going to be a great father to our baby I promise," I say taking his hand into mine.

"I hope so," he says.

When they call us back they guide us to a room in the hospital, the tech tells me to strip down from the waist down as they are going to do an internal ultrasound. As soon as she leaves the room I strip down out of my clothes and lie on the bed waiting for her to come back.

"Hello, Madden," says the tech as she comes back into the room. "Are you ready?" she asks.

"Yes," I say with a smile.

"And you are interested in finding out the sex of the baby today?" she asks.

"Yes we definitely want to know," I say. "Joe, do you really want to know the sex of the baby today?"

"Absolutely," he says taking my hand into his and linking our fingers together.

"All right, as long as the baby cooperates we should be able to find out the sex today, have you felt the baby move yet?"

"Yes, I feel it move a lot in the evening time," I say, "It is usually pretty calm during the day but after 4pm until about 10 pm it is as active as it can be."

"Sounds like it already has its days and nights mixed up," she laughs, "so I know you were interested in finding out if the baby has a possibility of developing Neuroblastoma."

"Yes," I say nervously, "are you able to do a test to find out?"

"Unfortunately we are not able to do that testing. I wish we were able to but unfortunately we can't."

"All right," I say sadly, I wish I could find out if this baby is at risk for Neuroblastoma that way I could at least be prepared to go through a fight again and not be blindsided like I was with Amari. "Is it hereditary?"

"In most cases it's not, however if one parent has a history of having Neuroblastoma then it is possible for the child to possibly develop it. It starts in the womb, in the nerve cells of the fetus. As the fetus grows these cells often mature and grow normally but in rare cases like Amari they don't mature and then become Neuroblastoma."

"So you're saying these cells never fully matured in Amari and that's how she ended up with Neuroblastoma?"

"Yes," she says, "And the chances of this baby getting it are rare."

"But it could," I say.

"It could but it would be an unlikely scenario. Like I said, if the cells or neuroblasts don't mature with growth then we are looking at a possibility of Neuroblastoma but if they mature with growth then they can't become cancerous."

"I don't like the sound of that, I have gone through hell with my 6 year old and was told that she has a month left to live because her body is immune to the chemotherapy and radiation. And the bone marrow transplants don't work because her body starts to attack the new cells, I don't want to go through this again, I don't want to see another child that I love go through this."

"I understand," she says sympathetically. "I imagine that it's not easy for you as a mother to witness and live through."

"It's not," I say, "and I would rather not live through it again."

"Well, let's just keep hope that your baby is healthy, are you ready?"

"Yes," I say. She helps me get into position for my ultrasound, putting my feet up in the stirrups as she turns on the ultrasound machine. She takes the doppler from the machine and places a condom over it.

"You might feel a little pressure," she says.

"Okay," I say as she inserts the doppler inside of me. I wince at the pressure as she moves it around.

"All right," she says with a smile, "there is the beautiful baby." She points to the screen and our baby's face is there with its thumb in its mouth. "It is sucking its thumb," she says.

"I see that," I say with a smile. "Look, Joe," I say.

"It's beautiful, we created that," he says. He kisses my lips softly.

"And as you can see there is the baby's head," she points out. "And there is its nose."

"The Polynesian gene lives strong again," I say with a smile noticing that this baby has Joe's nose.

"And there is its mouth," she says, "I have never seen lips so profound on an ultrasound before," she says.

"It gets those lips from its dad," I smile. "I'm going to say that this baby is going to look like you, Joe."

"Maybe," he says.

"And there is the baby's arm, and its other arm," she points out, "and a nice strong heartbeat, there's its stomach and there are the legs, and it is in a very good position for me to find out the sex, are you sure you want to know?" she asks.

"Yes," we say together, "we really want to know," I say.

"And there is his penis," she says pointing it out, "it looks like you and Joe are going to have a very healthy baby boy."

"It's a boy!" I say with excitement, "We're having a boy!" I say with a smile.

"It's a boy!" he says with a smile, "and he's healthy. I love you, Madden."

"I love you too," I say with a smile before I kiss his lips softly.

 ***A/N: what did you think? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	23. We're Getting Married

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated thank-you all so much***

After Madden and I left the OB/GYN to find out we are having a little boy we went to the office downtown to apply for our marriage license so that we can get married in a few weeks. We each presented our spouse's death certificate to prove that neither of us were married anymore due to death and once they saw our documentation they set us up at a computer to fill out an application online giving our information and our family information before we submitted the forms before we talked to a representative to sign paperwork, answer her questions before she presented us with a marriage license which in the state of PA is valid 3 days after applying for it and then valid for 60 days. I never thought I would be getting married again after losing Kate but here I am getting ready to marry Madden in a few weeks.

Once we are home and settled before we tell Amari and Gatsby the news of them having a baby brother Madden takes a nap due to pregnancy exhaustion while I get ready to call my mom to invite her to our wedding and then to call my two best friends Seth and Dean to tell them the news. I pick up the phone to call my mom first. I hit the facetime button under her name and the video starts to pop up as I wait for her to connect. "Joe," she says appearing on the screen.

"Hey, Mom," I say with a smile. "How are you?" I ask.

"I'm doing all right, when do you think you're going to come back to Florida?" she asks. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, Mom but I don't know when I am going to make it back to Florida, I'm kind of busy right now. I even took some time off work to take care of some things I need to do," I say.

"I thought you took time off for your health because of your immune system being especially in danger due to that new virus going around that's shutting everything down," she says.

"Well, that's part of the reason," I say knowing that there's some new virus going around that's sort of like the flu but also deadlier than the flu, it started overseas and has slowly made its way over to us so due to Amari's immune system being weakened due to her Neuroblastoma, Madden being pregnant and my weak immune system on top of getting married it was a better choice for me to miss a few weeks of wrestling and to take a break to focus on my family. "Also it's because of the fact that Amari has a weak immune system and she's only been given about a month to live yet," I say sadly, "and with Madden being pregnant I don't want to risk getting the virus and passing it on to them."

"Well, that sounds like a good reason, so I guess you won't be making it to Florida any time soon," she says.

"Probably not, no one knows how bad this is going to get and I don't want to take any risks," I say.

"I understand," she says. "You have to look out for your family."

"Thanks, Mom," I say, "so another reason is Madden and I decided to get married."

"I know, you already told me that you were engaged," she says. "I know you're getting married."

"No, I mean in the next couple weeks," I say.

"I'm sorry, what do you mean in the next couple weeks?" she asks.

"Well, the thing is with Amari's doctor giving her a month to live, Madden wants to get married while she's still able to attend the wedding, so we agreed to get married April 10th in just a small courthouse ceremony and then go out to a restaurant to celebrate, nothing big and nothing spectacular just something lowkey," I say.

"April 10th?" she asks, "that's so soon."

"I know but Amari doesn't have much time left and it really means a lot to Madden to get married before she leaves us," I say.

"And you're okay with this?" she asks.

"Of course I am okay with it," I say. "I want Amari there just as much as Madden does. if it weren't for Mari Madden and I never would have met and Amari and I are close."

"I understand the importance of having Amari there but I think it is just a little crazy you two haven't even known each other that long and I think this whole thing is happening too fast. I thought you two having a baby together was a quick step and then when you told me you were engaged I thought it was speeding up but I at least thought you had a year until you actually got married."

"I know it seems like everything is going fast but I'm happy, mom. This is the happiest I have been in a long time since I lost Kate. I never thought I would be able to find love again, I didn't think I would be able to fall in love again but then I met Madden and everything changed. She makes me happy and I love her. I'm glad our lives entwined the way they did because I am happy."

"I know that you're happy but I'm asking you to think about this, and I haven't even met her yet."

"I know you can meet her at the wedding," I say.

"I wanted to meet her before you got married," she says.

"I know but everything is so time sensitive and with the virus we don't have time for that," I say.

"I just hope you know what you're doing," she says.

"I know what I am doing, I love her and I'm ready to make her my wife. Will you be able to attend the wedding?" I ask.

"Even if I don't agree with it because I think this is all too soon I wouldn't miss it," she says with a smile.

"Thank-you," I say, "I promise you that you will love Madden."

"I hope that I do, Joe, I mean if she makes you happy how can I not love her?" she asks making me smile, "so April 10th?"

"Yes," I say with a nod.

"Okay, I will fly out the 9th and then arrive that evening, we'll have dinner the night I arrive."

"That sounds good to me," I say with a smile. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you too," she says with a smile. "Bye," she says.

"Bye," I say before ending the call.

I choose to face time Dean and Seth together that way I can tell them the news together, it wouldn't be the same to get married without my two best friends to be there. The camera activates as I wait for each of them to connect and surely enough they both connect at the same time. "What's up," I say with a smile.

"Not much," says Seth, "just working like usual."

"I honestly don't miss that," I say with a smile, "and Dean how's life for you, how's AEW, you miss WWE yet?"

"Not at all," he says honestly, he left the company a few months ago to pursue a new career in another wrestling company. He had his reasons for doing it. He just wasn't happy with the direction WWE was going and he was a guy that came from a hardcore background and in WWE everything is PG so there is not a lot of hardcore work not at least the way he wants it. I'm happy for him for making that decision.

"I didn't think so," I say with a laugh, "and how's everything with Becky, Seth and how is everything with Renee, Dean?" I ask.

"Pretty good," says Seth, "Becky and I are planning to get married in May after Wrestlemania is over," he says, "I'm looking forward to it and taking some time off. I envy you. How is your time off going?"

"It's going great, we just found out the sex of the baby today," I say with a proud smile. "I'm getting a son."

"That's awesome," says Seth, "Congratulations, Man."

"Thanks," I smile, "so Dean, what's up with you and Renee?"

"We're doing good, working two different companies is hell for us because our schedules are so hectic."

"I bet," I say, "so when are you and Renee going to have a little one?" I ask.

"Never," he says, "Renee and I like kids BUT with our lifestyle kids are not for us."

"I understand that," I say. "What about you, Seth?" I ask.

"I don't know probably after we get married, Becky is doing so good in her career that I know she's not ready to take time off yet or walk away from the business so I am just waiting till she's ready."

"That's good," I say. "So the reason I called you guys is because Madden and I moved up the wedding," I say.

"You moved up the wedding?" asks Seth.

"Yes, we want Amari to be able to be at our wedding and we got some not so good news from the doctor this week that we decided it's probably better that we move up the wedding so she is able to be there."

"Okay, so when do you plan to get married?" asks Dean.

"April 10th," I say, "it's nothing big just something lowkey, the ceremony at the courthouse and then out to a restaurant to celebrate."

"Well, that's a surprise," says Dean, "I never thought you were going to get married after Kate."

"I never thought I was going to either but I love Madden and she's everything to me."

"I'm glad you're happy," says Seth with a smile. "Becky and I will definitely be there the 10th."

"Renee and I will be there too," says Dean.

"Good, I couldn't get married without my two best friends," I smile.

"We wouldn't miss it," says Dean, "you know that."

"I know," I say. "I appreciate it."

"So by the end of May we will all be married men," says Seth.

"Looks that way," I smile. "Crazy to think," I say.

"I never thought Dean would settle down and marry someone," says Seth.

"Neither did I but him and Renee are perfect together," I say. "I never thought I would be getting married again."

"Neither did I," says Dean, "you always vowed against it."

"Yes," I say, "but that was until I met Madden and she changed my life."

"She has definitely made you happier," says Seth.

"I agree," says Dean. I nod in agreement.

"Well, it's good to be happy again," I smile, "I'm happy to be marrying Madden, happy to have son with her and just happy for a life with her."

"Good," says Seth, "You deserve all the happiness you get."

"Thanks, Man," I say as Madden comes into the living room. I look at her and smile as she smiles back at me. "All right, I'm going to let you go," I say.

"All right," they say together. We say our goodbyes and then I end the call.

"How was your nap?" I ask Madden.

"It was short," she says sitting down next to me. "Who were you talking to?"

"Seth and Dean," I say. "I was inviting them to the wedding. I also called my mom too."

"How did your mom take the news?" she asks.

"Well, she was surprised and I don't know if she's exactly happy about it. She thinks everything is happening so fast but she said she wouldn't miss it so she's coming."

"That's good to know," she says with a smile. "I can't wait to meet her."

"She can't wait to meet you either," I say with a smile, "so how are we going to tell the girls that they are getting a baby brother?" he asks.

"I don't know," she says, "I know I want it to be a surprise, we should have a little gender reveal party for them."

"That sounds like a good idea. Do you think they will be happy?"

"I think that Amari will be happy she wants a baby brother and I don't think Gatsby cares either way she said she would be happy with either or. Are you happy to have a son?"

"I'm happy to have a BABY," I say, "it's something that I have wanted for a while. It just never happened but I guess it wasn't in God's time for it to happen, I was upset and I was disappointed but I continued to trust in his timing and in his plan for the blessing. I think he chose the right time to make it happen."

"I think so too," she smiles. "I love you, Joe."

"I love you too," I say before I kiss the top of her head. "And don't worry I don't want a junior or in my case it would be a 3rd. I want to name him something different."

"Okay," I say, "would you be upset if we gave him the middle name Wyatt?" I ask, "in honor of the girls' dad."

I think about it and say, "honestly if you would like to honor Wyatt and give our son his name as a middle name I am okay with it, I know you would do the same for Kate."

"Thank-you," she says with a smile.

"You're welcome, any first names come to mind for him?" I ask.

"I know you don't want to name him Leati but what if we named him Joseph Wyatt Anoa'i?" she asks.

"Joseph?" I ask. "I like it would we call him Joe or would we call him Joseph?"

"I don't know whatever goes best for him," she says, "unless you want to name him after your brother Matt."

"I thought about it and I would LOVE to honor my brother by giving our son his name but with that being said I feel like my niece or nephew should have the honor of naming their child after their dad. I'm okay with Joseph if you are."

"I like Joseph," she says with a smile.

"Me too," I agree with her, "so did you get a wedding dress yet?"

"Not yet, Kenzie and I are going to go out tomorrow to find one."

"Okay," I say, "I need to get a new suit for the wedding."

"Sounds good to me," she says with a smile. "I'm excited to marry you."

"I can't wait to marry you," I say with a smile. "Do you think the virus that's going around could impact our wedding?"

"I don't think so," I say, "I mean I know a lot of places are taking precautions talking about handwashing for 20 seconds with soap and water but that's all I have really heard about it. I know it can be deadly but I don't think we have that many cases here in PA for anything to impact our wedding."

"I'm just saying because I saw on the news how Italy was on lockdown due to the virus because it spreads so fast and because so many people contracted it so they put the country on lock down to keep people from spreading it. What if that happens here?" she asks.

"I don't think it will happen here," I say, "I mean we never shut down for a virus before and we've had Ebola, Zika, Swine Flu and it was handled quickly and it didn't get out of hand."

"I hope this is the same," she says. "And then I worry about it because Amari is already sick and she's getting her treatments, what if something happens like in Italy and she's not able to get the medical care she needs that could mess up any chances she could have to live longer than what the doctor is saying and if she contracts it then what?" she asks and I can tell she's nervous about it and I don't blame her. It's a scary situation. No one really knows how it's going to go and Amari is high risk due to her cancer.

"I honestly think that we will be fine," I say, "you don't have to worry about anything."

"I hope not," she says.

"You won't," I promise her taking her into my arms to calm her down from thinking about the virus and thinking about Amari getting worse. There's a lot up against us but we're going to get through this, I know we are the last thing we need is for this virus to impact us as well.

 ***A/N: What did you think of Joe's mom reaction to Madden and Joe moving up the wedding? What did you think of Seth and Dean's reaction to the new wedding date? Do you think Madden and Joe are moving too fast? What did you think of the baby name Madden and Joe picked for the baby? Do you agree with giving the baby the middle name Wyatt? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


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